SOCOG Releases New Range Of Official Jokes

Inge De Bruijn
New Jokes About Rumoured Drug Cheats To Be Added To Already Impressive 'Misty Hyman' Range
Merchandising has become an essential and valid concern at any Olympic Games, with collectors and others snapping up all kinds of pazraphenalia. In the 104 year history of the Modern Games, there is one particular range that is always much-anticipated: The Official Olympic Jokes. Today the Sydney Organising Committee for the Olympic Games (SOCOG) announced their follow-up series to their sold-out first edition of jokes, and reporter Nick Marland was there to bring it to you first.

Since Baron de Coubertin saw his vision of a modern Olympic carnival come to fruition in Athens in 1896, jokes have always been an essential ingredient of the various souvenir items churned out by an Organising Committee. In his time, jokes ranged from the friendly "Have you heard the one about Edwin Flack's Gay Father?" (Flack was Australia's first Olympic Competitor, winning two gold) to "A man walks into a bar and says 'Come outside Gents, and see my marvellous flying contraption!'". These days, all kinds of jokes abound, holding true to De Coubertin's vision.

Today, before a packed assembly of collectors, journalists and hangers-on, SOCOG heavyweight Micheal Knight announced the second series in Sydney's range of 27th Olympiad japery - a sequel to the montrously successful 'Misty Hyman Range'. A rapturous crowd greeted a hilarious collection of officially-sanctioned Olympic Gags, including:
  • "So, have you heard the one about Inge de Bruijn's penis?"

  • "What did the Ugandan athlete say to the teenage girl?"

  • "So this Nike executive tries to rationalise their sweatshop policy..."

  • "A committee member for a city in the 2008 host city bid and a corrupt IOC member walk into a bar..."

  • "Knock Knock.

    Who's There?

    Micheal Knight.

    Micheal Knight who?

    The head of SOCOG, not the guy David Hasselhoff played in Knight Rider.

    OK, thank God for that. Come in.

NOTE: Punchlines in most cases withheld due to strict IOC Guidelines

The jokes mark a continuation of a tradition which has been carried out by every Games city - with the exception of Berlin in 1936...Nazi Germany, no sense of humour, you do the math. It is only hoped that when the Games return in four years to their modern and ancient home in Athens that the World will be laughing at their jokes and not their under-preparedness.

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