Clean Romanian Lifters Reinstated
Disgraced Drug-taking Lifters Consider Careers In Australian National Rugby League
One of the lifters, Adrian Jigau, is rumoured to already be close to signing a plush five-year deal with an unnamed NRL club, said to be worth AUS $200,000 a season. Jigau was banned after testing positive to the performance-enhancing drug nandrolene. The other three disgraced competitors are also in talks with various clubs, who feel that the impossibly huge drug-enhanced men will be useful in building a powerful forward pack.
High-profile player manager Sam Ayoub can see why the men are in such high demand.
"Well, they're big, strong, powerful guys, obviously. For another thing, they're willing and eager to play, in an attempt to rebuild their shattered careers," says Ayoub. "It's also incredibly beneficial to the club's financial and human resources: instead of spending time developing player strength the old-fashioned way, they can simply buy guys that are so full of banned substances that they're banned from entering some countries."
The recruitment of any or all of the players would not seem very out of place in the current NRL, where square-jawed freaks who are impossibly developed get huge salaries to beat the crap out of smaller players and build platforms for their club. Recently, the NRL has been rife with drug cheats - fortunately for them, they have not been forced out of the game and into weightlifting.
The four men are also said to be having intitial talks with several NFL clubs, and at least two have had offers to work as lab rats in research projects aimed at determining just how cut someone can become with the aid of drugs.
Meanwhile, the reinstated trio were spotted buying large quantities of lottery tickets after they were revealed to be clean. Why they did this remains to be seen.