Opening Ceremony A Blazing Success
Indigenous Australian Cathy Freeman Lights Spectacular Cauldron Wearing Outfit Reminiscient Of The Movie 'Tron'
American Viewers Confused By Absence Of Kangaroos In Opening Ceremony
SYDNEY, SATURDAY SEPT. 16TH-- The Olympics began in fine style last night, in a 4 1/2 hour-long extravaganza celebrating Australian indigenous culture, diversity, female athletes and the 1982 Disney cult classic Tron
In a touching gesture - hopefully a catalyst in the reconciliation process between white and black Australia - Games Minister Micheal Knight and AOC boss John Coates chose Cathy Freeman, the current 400m World Champion, to light the amazingly-constructed flame. Freeman, in turn, paid a homage of her own to the Disney tale of advancing technology and a science-fiction realm of artificial intelligence, wearing a striking figure-hugging ensemble reminiscient of the film's hero, Sark. The Flame, in another touching gesture, paid tribute to technology by promptly having a hydraulic fault which took several minutes to fix, killing off much of the suspense built up in the preceeding emotion-charged minutes.
Earlier in the evening the ceremony introduced the world to Australia, in a ceremony which was suprisingly actually good. Chief Producer of the extravaganza, Ric Birch, was among the shocked.
"Shit, what happened? People actually liked it!" exclaimed Birch, organiser of previous ceremonies in cities such as Los Angeles and Barcelona. "I mean, where did we pull that from?! Look, no-one's more surprised than me; I had a chartered jet ready and waiting at a secret location and I was all ready to fly to a non-extradition country. But thankfully, we all pulled through and now my grisly death at the hands of a lynch mob will have to wait until the closing ceremony."
Meanwhile, American viewers were also shocked, but for different reasons.
"Where were all the damn kangaroos?" said a clearly stunned Robert Guthrie, 36, of Chicago. "I was sure there'd be some kangaroos somewhere! I mean, the kangaroos on bikes at Atlanta - I loved that, man! Someone has obviously made a terrible mistake along the line...I mean, Christ man! Not even a Koala bear?! You've got to be kidding, dude!"
"I thought you kept kangaroos as pets down there?" added Guthrie
Despite the protestations of a few, the ceremony went off with few, if any, hitches. Freeman said she was glad to be such an integral part of a defining moment in Australian history.
"Yeah, I was ecstatic" said Freeman, a big hope for gold at the Sydney Games. "When they told me earlier today [Friday] that it was going to be me, I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I'm just so happy that the organisers were very flexible and allowed me to throw in a heartfelt homage to Tron, amongst other tributes to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders and, of course, to female athletes. The only disappointing part was that I couldn't incorporate the flashing electronic grids or spectacular digital bike races that made Tron so special."
With the ceremony such a great start to the 'Greatest Show On Earth', hopefully the next two weeks can provide some incredible moments, endeavours of the human spirit, audacious triumphs and possibly a tribute to Knight Rider.
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