The Very, Very Broken Olympic Quiz

15 Questions

No real right answers

Everyone's a Winner!*

* - Not everyone guaranteed to win. Phrase 'Everyone's a winner' re-used with permission from 70's super-group Hot Chocolate

It's time for everybody's favourite twisted and broken Olympics quiz, the Mule HQ© Very Broken Olympic Quiz. Answer questions once. Answering more than once will result in your eyes boiling in their sockets. If you think I'm bluffing, then just try me!
Anyway, Your Time Starts....Now.


1)At the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, one song was all the rage with athletes and spectators alike. Its name was:

Japan's answer to the 'Birdie Dance', The Godzilla Dance
Warrant's (She's My) Cherry Pie - Yes, even then it was a classic.
Only 19 Years Gone And All Is Forgotten by the Emperor Hirohito All-stars
2)The 1916 Olympics were odd because:

There were no 1916 Olympics, you tool
The 1916 Olympics were cancelled due to the First World War...You tool
Track Events were hampered by giant trenches and artillery-shell holes in ground

3)The First Modern Olympics, held in Athens in 1896, featured an event not seen in more contemporary Games. It was:

Beat The Filthy Irish
Rugby Union
Gold medal-standard First To Colonise an African Nation/Defeat an African or Asian Nation's Rebel Uprising
4)This year's Games in Sydney have been dubbed by the Organising Committee as the 'Green Games', environmentally-friendly in every respect. This is completely untrue due to:

The Athletics track being made from 100% endangered bush rats
Unwanted leftover petro-chemicals being safely disposed of in city water supply
The Organising Committee's rather greedy plan to destroy the Sun and then sell souvenir torches for $20 a pop

5)Much has been made in the annals of history of 'Hitler's Games' in Berlin, 1936. Hitler's shadow loomed so large over these games because:

He used the Games - intended as a gathering of peace, harmony and sporting excellence - to advertise to the World the power of his evil Nazi regime and his belief in the supposed supremacy of the Aryan Race
Hitler won a then-record three gold medals: One for the 200m, narrowly beating Jesse Owens; One for rowing; and one for rhythmic gymnastics

6)Sydney’s Games will prove to be quite historic for what reason?:

They will be the first Olympics to send a city so broke that it has to resort to asking for a loan from a pimp known as 'Leroy'
The first Olympics to have a terrorist hostage drama involving a heavily-armed kangaroo
The last Olympics to be so heavily seduced by corruption and corporate influence. Ha, yeah, I though that one was pretty funny, too
7)If nothing else, the Olympics over the years have followed the credo:

"If you’re Communist and ya know it...boycott!"
"If you hate the damn Commies and ya know it.......boycott!"
"There are never enough drugs to pump into your body"

8)The Seoul Olympics in 1988 will be remembered for what in particular?:

The awful smell of white doves, symbols of peace, burning in a cauldron
A reunion of the cast of M*A*S*H to compete in the 4 X 100 Men’s Relay
Being only a few years away from the phenomenon known as 'Hammer-time'

9)Almost everyone knows of the story of Muhammad Ali (then known by his birth name, Cassius Clay) throwing his gold medal into a river in disgust at the treatment of his people. What most don't know is that:

Richard Nixon leapt into the water after Ali left to retrieve it. Bastard.
Ali was actually disgusted at the fact his medal was not made of metal but foil-covered chocolate
It was not a protest but just Ali checking the depth of the river for a government ecological survey

10)The Olympics have long been synonomous not only with elite sportsmen and women, but of course also with politics. Who, according to Time Magazine, was the greatest political gold-medalist?

Former US President Lyndon Johnson in the 4X400 metre track relay
Long-serving Australian Liberal Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies, five-time winner in the 1500m pool event
Winston Churchill, in his heroic leadership of the British Football Team at the Antwerp Games in 1920
Nick, you are such a f@%king moron

11)The 1996 Atlanta Olympics were the first with an offical website. What landmark in internet coverage takes place with the Sydney Games?

The first Olympic Games to have an official Porn section, featuring "sick webcam, full-frontal hardcore nudity and complete news coverage"
The first Games with a poorly put-together site featuring pictures of mules and a blurry Robert Downey Jr.
The first Olympics to auction off losing athletes from poor countries on E-bay

12)At the Mexico City games in 1968, the Men's 100m sprint was won by Jim Hind, who was the first man to break the '10 second barrier'. These games will also be remembered for:

 Copious amounts of taco and burrito-induced diarrhea
Men's 100m silver-medalist Speedy Gonzalez

13)American Swimming star Gary Hall Jr. recently wrote in a column on the CNN website that he and his compatriots would "smash" the Australian swimmers "like guitars". What he meant to say was that they would:

'Compress and crush the Australians like accordions'
'Beat the Australians like Animal from The Muppets would beat a drumkit'
'Shake the Australians like maracas'

14)The first Modern Olympics, held in Athens in 1896, were a lot different to what we will be seeing in Sydney. It's odd to look back on them now, since they featured elements such as:

Track events held on the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea, with no breathing apparatus allowed
Compulsory wearing of Top Hats and Monocles. Failure to wear both resulted in 'death by ridicule and teasing'
The event which is not seen these days at all: Build Your Own Flying Contraption

15)And in closing, what more appropriate than a question on the Closing Ceremony? This tradition began at the Melbourne Games in 1956, stemming from an idea from a young Chinese-Australian schoolboy to have all nations parade together as one to close the games. Which of the boy's ideas was not adopted by the IOC? Catapulting losing athletes out of the stadium into a pit of sewage
Strapping Fireworks to random athletes, unbeknownnst to them
The truly moving 'Olympic-Edition Running of the Bulls'




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