Australian Women Win Water Polo Gold Before Record Crowd

The Victorious Australian Women's Team
Experts Attribute Large Crowd To Male Fascination With Breasts, Sport And Winning
SYDNEY, SATURDAY SEPT. 23-- Australia last night won the gold medal in the first-ever Olympic tournament for Women's Water Polo, before a capacity crowd at the Sydney International Aquatic Centre. Amongst the huge crowd that witnessed the thrilling 4-3 victory over the United States were dedicated fans of the sport, families keen to embrace the Olympic spirit and many thousands of men who liked to watch women in swimsuits.

After lobbying to have the sport included in Olympic competition back in 1998, the Australian women were forced several times to claw their way back by a powerful US team, but the World Cup silver-medallists matched them at every point to literally grab victory in the last second, staving off an extra-time scenario. Many men in the crowd were thrilled with the victory.

"Maaaan, is that Liz Weekes ever hot!" said Tom Hardie, 23. "I'd like to take a shot at her anytime!!"

"Get it? Take a shot? It's a double-entendre; she's the goal-keeper, plus I find her attractive?" Hardie went on to explain.

Ray Fielder, 18, from Sydney's western suburbs, was similarly enamoured with the ladies' sporting prowess.

"Oh God, do I wish those girls could wear white swimsuits that went see-through in the water" said Fielder, grinning maniacally and frightening children around him. He then began to chant "Ooh, ooh, ooh, I love women's water polo!" whilst winking and licking his lips in the direction of several of the ladies partaking in their lap of honour. Some shook their heads, others ignored the teenager. Another male, Greg Tomorry, said he loved the team because "they are great players, they're winners and they make me go all quivery in the nether regions."

Genuine water polo fans were disgusted by the sex-charged nature of many of the male supporting contingent.

"It's sickening, just sickening," said Florence Carter, at the game with her husband Steve. "These sexist perverts didn't even know they were at a water polo game. When I said Liz Weekes was the keeper, they all looked surprised. They thought she was a model."

Added husband Steve, "But can you blame them?" Mrs Carter then slapped her husband across the face.

Professional Breastologist and doctorate in Curve Studies Dr. Terrence Reft is not at all surprised by the news of the record crowd.

"It's really to be expected. This sport had plenty factors that men love: sport, sports winners, women in a pool, sexy women in a pool, and breasts," saud Reft. "When you get all of these things put together in one package, it really proves irresistible to men. Now, excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom." At this point Dr Reft left the room, and Mule HQ's reporter left in disgust

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