Bill Gates dies and finds himself being sized up by God . . .

                         "Well, Bill, I'm really confused," said God. "I'm not sure whether to send 
                         you to Heaven or Hell. You certainly helped society by putting a computer
                         in almost every office and home in America, yet you also created that 
                         ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something very unusual and let you
                         decide where you want to go."

                         "Well," said Bill, "What's the difference between the two?"

                         "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly to help you make the 
                         decision," said God.

                         So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
                         waters and beautiful women frolicking about - laughing and playing in
                         the water; the sun was shining; the temperature perfect. Bill was very
                         pleased.

                         "This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see
                         Heaven."

                         "Fine," said God and off they went.

                         Heaven was a place high in the clouds with angels drifting about playing
                         harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

                         Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision to God:

                         "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.

                         "Fine," replied God. "As you desire."

                         So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the
                         late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. There He found Bill,
                         shackled to a wall screaming amongst hot flames in a dark cave, being
                         tortured by demons - with no one to help him out of his delimma no matter 
                         how loudly he screamed.

                         "How's everything going?" God asked Bill.

                         Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and tormented disappoint-
                         ment. "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited a week ago.
                         I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place with
                         the sandy beaches and the beautiful women playing in the clear water?"

                         "Oh," God said, "That was Hell 3.1. This is Hell '95."

          

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