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Well, almost the entire Senior Class of good ol' K-Town High went down to Ocean City, Maryland for Senior Week around the 19th of June. And Jes & Keenan & I all drove down together. Yes, as you can imagine, stupid comments were a plenty... And then we stayed in a cottage with Porterfield, Todd, Craig, & Reefer and one can only imagine what went on behind those doors... So, without further ado, Sweet Jesus, She's Got A Knife is proud to present our...
"We get there with less casualties!" -- Miller
46 Degrees leaving Shittown at 3:40 am.
"Ocean City & Boys or BUST!" -- Adams
4:16 -- Enter Turnpike... finally
"ANIMAL KILLING SONG!!!!!" -- Miller
"Yeah, I catch myself & look at the speegometer." -- Miller
"Look at the farm! Is that Hickory Farms?!?" -- Miller
"I gotta get a better record player." -- me
"I thought you said, 'I gotta eat some butter.'" -- Miller
6:00 -- Exit turnpike... finally
6:33 -- Chinese firedrill just inside Maryland...(Oh my leg is stuck...)
"Yeah, isn't this our fruitopian society?" -- Craig
"Shut up! I don't have shoes on!" -- Jes
"If your head explodes, I'm not gonna help you!" -- Jes
"I sleep on my face, so I'm screwed." -- Jes (are you noticing a trend??)
"Lighting a cigarette at the beach should be, like, an X-Games event." -- Lou, some guy from the boardwalk.
"If I pretend I am a quadriplegic, will you let me down on the ramp?" -- Batman
"SCREAMING MELTING JESUS!" -- Jes
"Look! A North American Beer Bong Tree!" -- Jes
"You ready to go Papa Pierce?" -- Reefer
"Now that's what I call a puss gut!" -- Todd
"I don't want to suck anyone's dick." -- me
"Yet..." -- me. SHUT UP!
"I almost got into a fight with Jared Kuchta." -- Craig (under extreme influence)
VAGINALPLASTY: The surgical recovery of virginity
EMULSIFIED: What Reefer is going to be tonight
"Nipples are for stonewashed jeans, so hit the boardwalk with a smile and some ether." -- Reefer
"Somebody should send the angel of weed!" -- Todd
"Drink it, chug it, bong it, inject it... I don't give a shit!" -- Reefer
"I'm a No-Limit Pilgrim!" -- Mindy (on her Wild Turkey experience)
"Save time by beating your balls directly off Amy's chin." -- Reefer
"Definitely not the right bus..." -- Porterfield
"What would happen if you gave someone an alcohol aenema?" -- Todd
CRAIG IS A WOMAN AT HEART!!!
"What's with my 'fro??" -- Craig
"He's a motorcycle guy in a moped band." -- Dennis Miller on SNL
"A fuckin' bulldozer could run over my nipples and I wouldn't feel it." -- Todd
"Look! That's a corn-rowed nigger mullet!" -- Reefer
"Yes, I'm just bursting with disease!" -- Todd
"Where is Fat Knapp staying?" -- Todd (asking this for the tenth time that day)
"Yeah, you take the comforter... I'll take the scraggle blanket." -- Reefer
11:25 am -- Left Ocean City
11:30 -- Big O & Company get about annihilated at Exxon.
11:31 -- Stop to eat at Arby's
12:15 -- Left Arby's
"If we went 120 MPH & I stuck my head out the window, would it blow off?" -- Jes
12:22 -- 1st Round of "American Music"
"Road Cookie." -- Keenan
12:38 -- Amy saw Salisbury Steak University.
"S-T-A-K-E!!! Oops, wrong kind of steak!" -- me
12:38 -- 2nd Round of "American Music"
"What the fuck is up with produce?" -- Jes
"You know, if I smacked my legs off something, I'd be decapitated from the knees down." -- Jes
3:25 -- Did a good thing.
3:50 -- Stopped to get gas & pee... the Shitgo Station didn't take Traveler's Cheques... bastards.
ON THE ROAD AGAIN...
4:30 -- Fucked with Scoots & Brett Johns. We threw poppies, they threw gatorade bottles...
"We can binge smoke, but.. none of this pack a day shit." -- Keenan
"I'm gonna get a sunburn on the upper torso of my arm." -- Keenan
5:16 -- Some trucker guy took our picture...
"These stoplights remind me of Mister Rogers'." -- Keenan
PA/OH DISCUSSION
"Old School Persian!" -- me
"I wish my skin wouldn't run." -- Jes
"I lost my shoes in 'Nam." -- Jes
"That's why we don't have Hardee's in Kittanning, because it's in Ohio." -- Keenan
6:10 -- Round 3 of "American Music"
6:40 -- Undercover Beastie Boy Spy
7:50 -- Back in K-Town.
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