Better get some Goldfish in that Pond QUICK

Two builders (Chris and James) are seated either side
of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man
enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The
two builders start to speculate about the occupation of
the suit.

Chris: -I reckon he's an accountant.
James: -No way - he's a stockbroker.
Chris: -He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the
volume of beer gets the better of Chris and he makes
for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the
suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several
beers get the better of the builder...

Chris: -Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me
mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: -No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!
Chris: -Oh! What's that then?
Suit:-I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Chris:-Er...mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: -Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Chris: -It's in a pond!
Suit: -Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
then?
Chris: -As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: -Well then it's logical to assume that in this town that if
youhave a large garden that you have a large house?
Chris: -As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself!
Suit: -Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical
to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
quite probably married?
Chris: -Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children!
Suit: -Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
with your wife on a regular basis?
Chris:-Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: -Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate
very often?
Chris: -Me? Never
Suit: -Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Chris:-How's that then?
Suit: -Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
about the size of garden you have, the size of house, your family and
your sex life!
Chris: -I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Chris returns to his mate.

James: -I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Chris: -Yep! He's a logical scientist!
James: -What's that then?
Chris: -I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
James: -Nope
Chris: -Well then, you're a wanker.

more

main page

This page hosted by   Get your own Free Home Page