Mary W. MacDonald
1951 - 1994
This is a place to remember Mary to the world, for what she gave, and to show to the world, how it is possible to rise above circumstances, and contribute, lead, and be inspiration to others.
Mary MacDonald was born a few hours before me, her parents were my Godparents, and mine were hers. Somewhere in a family album, there is a photograph of my mother holding us both, one in each arm. Our parents were in the Air Force, and it wasn't long before new assignments took the families to far off places, and it was 1966 before we met again. Mary's parents made annual visits to her oldest brother, and always stopped for an overnight visit with us on their way. I remember a very pretty, shy teenager, who shared an interest in the then-popular band, Iron Butterfly. Ok . . truth is . . she was beautiful . . and we had fun listening to music, and annoying her brothers. I visited her family in Old Towne in the summer of '69, the year we graduated high school, and then didn't see her again until 1975, when I took the photo here. I had come home on leave from the Navy, and took a road trip with my parents to Maine for a visit with the Macdonald's'. Mary came back with us, and visited for a week, and then I took her to Baltimore, to her brother Johnny's home, where she planned to look for work there in fashion merchandising. That was the last time I saw Mary. My parents kept in touch with her over the years, and told me of what she was doing, and passed on to her the things in my life as well, and by 1985, we we learned that Mary was having chronic health problems. In 1992, she told us she was suffering from AIDS, and in February of 1994, her mother called to tell us that she had passed away. It wasn't until a few months later that her mother sent us a copy of Mary's obituary, and an article written about her some months before she died, and we learned of all that she had been doing during the last years of her life. From a shy girl, to a woman, and to a leader, Mary went through many changes in her life, and suffered other problems, and overcame them, and found, in her words, 'a reason to live'. To give greater understanding of what she contributed in her life, giving to others, I have reprinted her obituary below. I hope that you can find a little of the pleasure in knowing Mary, in just a little way, that I had.
Mary Winifred MacDonald
Mary Winifred MacDonald, 42, who worked to raise awareness about AIDS and helped organize several AIDS coalitions, died Friday evening at her home in Portland.
Miss MacDonald, who was diagnosed as having AIDS in 1990 after living with the disease for 7 years, was an activist who was determined to help others protect themselves from the disease.
"She said, 'I finally have a reason to live. I need to tell people about AIDS and how not to get AIDS,' " said Jaquie Perrault. Perrault, a volunteer with the Merrymeeting AIDS Support Services Buddy Program, was Miss MacDonald's close friend.
Miss MacDonald visited schools to talk with children about practicing safe sex, participated in the AIDS quilt project and served as a board member of the People With AIDS Coalition.
She helped organize the Portland AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT-UP), and was a founding member of Women, AIDS, and Power, a Maine advocacy group for women with HIV/AIDS.
"She had more courage than anyone I've ever known. She covered how much pain and hardship she had. And she had so many illnesses," said Sandy Titus, the Support Services Coordinator of the AIDS Project in Portland.
"She was just this amazing spirit, I could go in (her home) and I would come away with my spirit uplifted because of her sunshine soul, she would never talk of dying of AIDS. She would say she is living with AIDS," Titus said, adding that throughout it all, Miss MacDonald never lost her sense of style or her sense of humor. "She had such flair and taste for clothing, no matter how sick she was, she always looked wonderful. The last night, as she was dying, she had her red and purple AIDS ribbons on. She looked beautiful," Titus said.
Jim Daniels, another friend, spoke similarly. "Her life was very difficult, AIDS was just one of her stumbling blocks. But what was remarkable about her was she had a great sense of humor. She'd laugh about her teeth falling out, she'd laugh about her hair falling out, but she also had a lot of pride," said Daniels, who photographed Miss MacDonald as part of a photo essay about women with AIDS.
Miss MacDonald was a 1993 recipient of a Maryann Hartman Award, named for the late speech communications professor at the University of Maine, the award recognizes distinguished Maine women and their accomplishments in the arts, politics, business, education, and community service.
More recently, Miss MacDonald served on the founding advisory board of Peabody House, a home for people with advanced cases of AIDS. The home in Portland is scheduled to open this summer.
She was a 1972 graduate of the University of Maine. She later worked in Washington, D.C., for the Neiman-Marcus Co., as a retail fashion consultant, before returning to Maine.
God bless you, Mary, and thank you.
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Obituary (edited) from the Portland (Maine) Telegram