BUMPER "SNICKERS"

  Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don't have film.

  Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

  I just got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar territory.

  When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

  Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

  I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say
  will be misquoted,then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it
  remains so popular?

  Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

  "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with
  one trifling exception, is composed of others

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

  I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

  I intend to live forever - so far, so good!

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty, And Illegal In 37 States.

  Quantum Mechanics:  The dreams stuff is made of.

  Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

  The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

  When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong
lane, going the wrong way.

  Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

  For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

  No one is listening until you make a mistake.

  Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal
   from many is research

  To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise
  above your principles

  Two wrongs are only the beginning.

  You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

  Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

  If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
never tried before

  Change is inevitable ... except from vending machines.

  A fool and his money are soon partying.

  Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

  Always try to be modest. And be proud of it!

  If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple
   of payments.

  Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic  route.

  Guests who kill talk show hosts ... on the last Geraldo.

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

  Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Hard work pays off in the future.  Laziness pays off now.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

  Half the people you know are below average.

  99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

  42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

  A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel
  so good.
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