EIGHT IRON
Jim and Bob were golfing one fine day, when Jim, an avid golfer,
slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. Jim takes his 8 iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine,
in search of his lost ball. The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently for his errant ball. Suddenly
Jim spots something shiny. As he nears the location of the shiny object, Jim realizes that it is an eight iron
in the hands of a skeleton laying near an old golf ball.
Jim excitedly calls for his partner Bob."Heh Bob, come here, I got trouble down here." Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out to Jim,"What's the matter Jim?" Jim shouts back in a nervous voice, "Bring me my 7 iron. You can't get out of here with an 8."
~~~
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing
the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his
hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm
a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he
remained in the fetal position
still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently
took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began
to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
~~~
These four gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained
in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.
"My son," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home building industry. He began
as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in
the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be outdone, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-dealership.
"He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."
he says.
The third man's son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage. And in the last few weeks has given a good
friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the first tee, one of the three fathers tells him that they have been discussing
their progeny and asks what line his son is in.
"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son has turned out," he replies. "For fifteen
years, he's been a hairdresser and I've just recently discovered he's a practicing homosexual. But, on the bright
side, he must be good at what he does, because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two
cars and a big pile of stock certificates."
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