A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small
amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone
suggested to him that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize
the congregation into giving more. "And just how would I go
about doing that?" he asked.

"It is very simple. First you turn up the air conditioner
so that the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach
in a monotone.

Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it
in a slow arc above the lectern and suggest they put
20 dollars in the collection plate."

So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested,
and lo and behold the plates were full of 20 dollar bills.
Now, the preacher did not want to take advantage of this
technique each and every Sunday.

So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then
tried his mass hypnosis again. Just as the last of the
congregation was becoming mesmerized, the chain on
the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loud
thud and springs and parts flew everywhere.

"Crap!" exclaimed the pastor.

It took them a week to clean up the church.

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