WIMMEN

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick
up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
machine will never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the sink.

How do you know when a woman's about to say
something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once
told me...."

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't...there's a clock on the oven!

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to
build up pressure.

Why were shopping carts invented?
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

Women are like guns, keep one around long
enough and your going to want to shoot it.

If your dog is barking at the back door andyour wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up
after you let him in!

One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what? I
got a set of golf clubs for my wife!"  

The other replies: "GREAT trade!"

All wives are alike, but they have different
faces so you can tell them
apart.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she
brings it in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told!

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months
........
I don't like to interrupt her.

Women are so unreasonable! My wife gets madbecause every Saturday night I take a bath with bubbles in it.
I mean, if Bubbles doesn't mind, why should she?

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of
her intelligence?
Divorced.

Most accidents happen at home.
And the men have to eat them!

Some mornings I wake up grouchy...
and some mornings I just let her sleep!

Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women's sexdrive by 90 percent....
Wedding cake!!!

Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
engagement ring,
wedding ring
and male suffering

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