Here are some comments I have
received about my story, Durc's Story.


Received June 1, 1999
 Dear Shamie,
as promised I read your story about Durc the night after finding it on your page. It was a very interesting feeling to read about the clans life five or six years after Ayla left them. By that time, I calculate, she has already arrived in the land of the Zelandonii, am I right?
To come to the point:
I liked the story!
I liked the Idea to start telling a prallel story from where you started.
I liked the way you managed it to tell a story of several years on so few pages. It is a pity you did not spend more pages on it, because there was so much stuff in it that would have been worth it.
And I liked the way you portrait the characters (however, it was a little bit difficult to hold the different female characters apart, they have so similar names. But that was not your foult). In fact, there were only some very small aspects I wondered about:
I wondered about the name of Golun. Are't male names always one-syllable-names beginning and ending with a vowel? But OK, that is of no real importance.
Another thing I wondered about, when reading your story:
The relation between Durc and Ura seems to be portraited as a very unusual indeed. Would someone who, like Durc, is socialised in the very conservative clan of Broud, teach a girl swimming? And would he be able and willing to teach himself using the sling with the same willpower and skill as Ayla did? I always thought her to be very special in this aspect.
However, I hope you forgive me this critical thoughts and accept my thanks and congratulations for this story. This even more, because I truly beleave that the gravest fault of Durc's Story is, that is only has seven short chapters. I would be glad If you published mor of it.
I guess, that it will become a problem for Durc to reach manhoods status, and that Broud will use Durc's lack of status as a hunter to give Ura to someone else. Both of them obviously gifted with a free mind could come to the conclusion that it is necessary to take decisive decisions to safe their relation.
But that is only how I guess the story will continue. Please notice my, if possible, if you publish more of it in the Net, so that i can read it and learn if I am right.
Best greetings from Cologne/Germany
Marc



This one is short but sweet... :-)
Received June 19, 1999
I have just read Durc's story and out of all the Durc stories on the net I think yours has the best story line.
Are you going to write some more soon.
regards Penny



I just received another e-mail from Marc in Germany... I find it very cool that someone on the other side of the planet has read my story!
Received July 10, 1999
Dear Shamie,
I promised to write about chapter 8, but I forgot. I liked the chapter and want to read more, so much for sure. Concerning style there was only one thing I wondered about, but I do not remember the exact wording. It was something that seemed to be really misplaced in a story set in the stone age. Something much to modern.
But anyway, the story is more interesting than the style: I understood that Broud is loosing his heir apparent and his younger son is going to be Mogur, not leader. But I really have my difficulties in seeng Broud accept Ayla's son as his sucessor! Just remember how much he hated her? And remember how irresponsible Broud always has been. He thinks that being clan leader is easy. He has never understood what Brun tried to teach him (and Brun knows ist since the day of the last quake). To make him to accept Aylas son as his successor demands either a significant change of character or a unbeleavable strong pressure on Broud.
I am really looking forward to read how you are going to tackle this! Can you say when to expect chapter 9? By the way: I feel honoured to find my letter on a special page at your site! Not every letter I write is held in so high regard.
Greetings from Mönchengladbach / Germany
Marc

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