Buffy shifted slightly, pulling her robe more snugly around her body and looking at him expectantly.
"I suppose it all goes back to Drusilla. I mean, it started before that, but this is where the story starts to make sense." He snorted. "And now I'm not making much sense, am I?"
She smiled slightly, but remained silent.
"Alright. Well, I once told you to ask why Dru and I ever got together. Thing is, she's had a rough life. Some... experiences, with the male half of her family 've left her pretty much terrified of men. And the things they do... with women." Spike's jaw clenched. How could someone do that to their own daughter, their own sister... Even after so many years, there would always be a soft spot in his heart for the wild-eyed brunette.
"I don't know what it was," he continued, "but she had me figured out." Spike looked up at Buffy, a wry smile on his lips. "She wanted to be a normal girl when she came to Sunnydale, with a boyfriend and dating and all that other stuff. She chose me, because..." He trailed off, examining his fingernails. There was a moment where no one spoke, and then he resumed his monologue.
"Some days, it was like she could read my bloody mind. Thing is, Dru knew that she never had to be afraid with me. That I'd never touch her or hurt her." Spike swallowed hard, remembering what is was like to shelter and protect Drusilla. She always needed me so much...
Buffy's brow furrowed. "I'm still a little unclear on what you're trying to tell me."
He met her eyes with a clear, even gaze. "Drusilla was afraid of sex for a very long time. With me, she knew she didn't have to worry about it. That I wouldn't."
Buffy's eyes widened in comprehension. "You mean you're...?"
Spike blushed slightly and looked away. "Yeah, pet. I am."
"I... I can't believe you never told me." She was torn between bewilderment and anger, winding up just feeling flustered.
"Well, pet, I never really knew how. Besides, it's not like it's anyone's business but mine." He was fidgeting uncomfortably at this point.
"But- but what about all those girls you've dated?"
"All those girls? Please, Buffy. Since Dru left, I've dated what, three girls? Four? And it never lasted. I didn't want them to get the wrong idea about me." Spike's expression was genuine as he looked back over to his wife.
A throw pillow came down violently on his head.
"I can't believe you never told me you were gay!" Buffy screeched, hitting him again. "You let me-" WHAP! "-make a-" WHAP! "-complete-" WHAP! "-IDIOT out of myself!" She hit him again, for good measure.
Spike had fallen to the floor, his arms raised defensively. "What? NO! I am not gay! Buffy!" He reached up, wresting the pillow away. "I am NOT gay!" he reiterated, flushing a deep red.
"Oh, right. 'She never had to be afraid with me'... 'don't want them to get the wrong impression' ... 'oh, and Andrew is such a great guy'..." Buffy mimicked terribly. "You are gay! You are a fudge-packing, pillow-biting, cake-eating friend of Dorothy! How could I have not seen it before!" she wailed, feeling utterly humiliated as she slumped back on the couch.
Spike was dumbfounded. Then he turned purple. "I am NOT gay, you stupid bint, I am a VIRGIN," he burst out.
Silence so profound it was almost painful descended on the living room.
"What?" Buffy finally asked, incredulously.
"I'm a virgin. A virgin. I've never had sex before, all right? Are you happy now?" Spike dragged himself up off the floor and dusted his sweatpants. Straightening his glasses, he perched on the end of the couch farthest from his wife. "Are you going to hit me some more?"
She still stared at him as if he had suddenly sprouted fangs or horns. "But... why?" she managed.
He shrugged. "Do you really want to know, or are you just wondering if I've gone crazy?"
Buffy held up her hand, and then noiselessly slipped off the couch. She went into the kitchen and returned momentarily with two bottles of Guinness. Using the edge of the table to pop off the lids, she then held one out to Spike. She sat back down and took a pull at her bottle. "Tell me."
"My father is a bastard." Spike turned the beer in his hand, then took a drink.
Buffy was taken aback by the apparent change in subject.
"Henry Summers did exactly two things for me in my life. He gave me half of my DNA, and he taught me that sex is one of the most special things that can happen between two people."
"What? I thought the reason your parents divorced was because he was cheating on Joyce." Buffy was confused.
Spike nodded bitterly. "Yeah, he did. I don't even know how many times he slept with other women, and Mom just forgave him and took him back. And the whole time, she never returned the insult. The whole point of monogamy and being faithful in a marriage, is that sex is special. You don't sleep with people that aren't your spouse."
"Okay..." She obviously wasn't quite seeing the point.
"What makes it so special to reserve sex for your wife, if you've been shagging other chits before you married her? Why does being married all of a sudden put a stop sign on your dangly bits?"
Something akin to understanding was starting to simmer in Buffy's brain.
"It doesn't." Spike shrugged. "If shaggin's supposed to be so special after getting married, stands to reason it's special before. That's why I've never. And that's why I won't sleep with you, pet."
Setting her now-empty bottle down on the table, Buffy scooted over to sit next to him. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I think I understand where you're coming from."
He smiled, putting his arm around her shoulder and dropping a kiss on her temple. "Thanks, pet. So, you want to watch another movie?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "Something gruesome. With lots of blood."
He chuckled. "That's my girl."
*********
Hours later, the flickering of the television was the only light in the darkened room. Buffy's lips curved in a smile as she felt the comfortable weight of Spike's body against her own. His head rested against her neck as he breathed deeply in sleep.
I can't believe he never told me before... and yet, I understand completely. She blushed faintly. No wonder he turned me down both times... he doesn't consider this a real marriage. And it's not, not a heart marriage, the way it should be.
Spike sighed softly, and snuggled closer to her warmth. In sleep, he looked so innocent. Not carefree, but at least content.
Buffy dared to lean down, her mouth a hairsbreadth from his. At the last moment, she hesitated, and then lifted her chin to brush her lips against his forehead. Toying gently with his hair, she smiled again. The words she whispered were barely audible, her breath stirring against her husband's skin.
Spike just snorted at Buffy's insult. "What?" he mumbled around his cupcake. He had just shoved the whole thing in his mouth, in a typically male move.
"Ugh. I hope you choke on that." She rolled her eyes, fighting a laugh at how funny he looked with his cheeks pouched out and frosting smeared on his chin.
"Mmmph."
Buffy shook her head, adjusting her backpack strap. It was evening on campus, and the two were just heading home after learning their dance class was cancelled. Hit by a sudden Hostess craving, Spike had stopped at a vending machine.
He struggled to swallow and was foiled by the creamy center. Spike choked.
"Tsk. You should know better. Need at least two bites for a cupcake. For a twinkie, try three." Buffy shot him a little grin.
Spike would have laughed, but it would've been counterproductive. As they rounded a corner in front of the Journalism building, he caught sight of a redhead that looked vaguely familiar. There was a cluster of mixed-aged persons loitering about. The redhead that caught his eye was dressed in black leather pants and matching bodice, with dark burgundy belled sleeves underneath. She was snuggled up against a dark-haired youth in a worn leather coat, as they spoke with an older man.
Nearing the group, Buffy and Spike were soon able to hear bits of the conversation.
The older man was sitting on a bench, while others flocked around. Obviously, he was the center of attention. Then the guy in the leather coat spoke.
"The deed is done."
"You killed the girl that sought the Hunters?" the seated man replied.
The dark haired man snorted. "It was too easy," he drawled.
For the first time, Spike heard the redhead speak. Her voice was petulant, and, again, familiar.
"I felt cheap," she pouted, running a hand up her companion's back.
"Excellent," the man in charge replied, a cruel grin gracing his features.
"So, you're pleased?" The redhead took a short step forward, her entire posture eager.
"Ecstatic."
"Ooh..." The girl practically wiggled all over. "Then... can I play with the puppy?" When she held out her hands, the other man passed her an object. She smiled brightly, snuggling back up against the dark-haired man. "We can put him in chains and ride him like a pony," she murmured.
The leather-clad duo, redhead and dark, started to drift away from the core group. At this point, Buffy and Spike were watching with a kind of rapt fascination. They'd never seen anything like this before.
Suddenly, another leather-clad female stepped out of the shadows. A tank top hugged her upper curves, and she had long, flowing brown hair. "Give us a kiss," she spat, squaring off in front of the redhead.
Licking her lips obscenely, she hissed in response.
Then, for no apparent reason, the two women started to play rock-paper-scissors.
"What the hell?" Buffy whispered to Spike.
"Wait, isn't that-" he interjected.
"Oh, my god-" she continued.
"WILLOW?"
Startled, the redhead in the skintight corset turned. "Oh, hi Buffy! Hi, Spike!"
"Hey, what are you two doing here?" The brunette winked, taking a step towards them.
"Faith?" Buffy asked, confused. Then she did a double-take. "Xander?"
The guy who Willow-the-lesbian had been sporadically necking with, and obviously cuddling, was none other than Xander Harris. Spike had to remember to breathe. "What is going on?"
"And Will, what are you wearing?" Buffy added, regaining her composure.
"Oh, this is my costume. This is what we all do on Wednesdays. We play Vampire: the Masquerade."
"We all? Who else is here?" Spike blinked.
"Anya plays a Ventru, Oz is in the Garou game, and there's the three of us."
"A what a what? Grew? Huh?" Buffy stared at these strange people who spoke in odd languages.
"Garou. It's a were-wolf game that sometimes crosses over with VtM." Xander grimaced. "Guess we're going kind of fast. Basically, it's like Dungeons and Dragons, only much, MUCH less geeky."
"You dress up and play pretend," Spike smirked. "Right. Nothing geeky about that."
"It's cool. You guys should totally play. My character's a Hunter - that means I try to kill vampires," Faith commented. "Actually, I used to be a Hunter, but then I got Embraced by a Gangrel. So I still try to protect the humans and stuff from crazy Malkavians like her." She pointed at Willow.
The redhead blushed. "My derangement is sadism!" she protested.
"You're deranged, all right. What the heck did you guys say?"
"So, you're a vampire, pet?" Spike addressed Faith. The brunette nodded. "And you protect people?"
Again, a nod.
"Why the bloody hell would you want to do that? If you're a vampire, then people are... people. Soddin' Happy Meals with legs. You don't cosset them, you eat them." He cocked his head in confusion.
The brunette laughed. "You see, I have a high humanity score. See?" She pulled a folded computer print-out from her cleavage. "Humanity - Four," she pointed out. "That means that I think killing humans is bad."
Spike just shook his head, and Buffy snorted. "Vampires aren't people with all these gushy feelings. They're like, demons. Have you ever seen Nosferatu?" she asked.
Willow just shrugged. "It's more of an Anne Rice concept of vampirism, you know?"
"Ugh," Spike snorted. "The bint was completely insane."
Buffy just stared in incomprehension. "Then why would you play this?"
Xander laughed, then pointed at his outfit. "I get to wear leather. I get to be smooth, cool, and a little bit evil. Plus, I'm a Brujah. That means I'm a rabble-rousing philosopher. I get to stir up trouble and harass the prince."
"Malkavians are awesome!" Willow chirrupped, immediately afterwards. "They're all crazy. No, really, it's part of what makes them vampires, that they're kind of insane. So I get to act like a total weirdo dominatrix." She grinned, blushing.
"It's scary how good at it she is," Faith chuckled.
"Oh, yeah. You know me, how I play 'Mistress of Pain' every night," Willow laughed.
Buffy and Spike just looked at each other. "Did you just go to a scary visual place?" she asked him.
"Oh, yeah." He swallowed hard, then turned back to Willow. "So what does Tara think?"
"She thinks it's funny. And it gives me something to talk about. Plus, this is when she likes to work on her book. Time apart makes for healthy time together!"
"Okay, I'm still trying to reconcile perky Willow and black leather. Where did you get that?" Buffy muttered.
"I picked it up for her, B." Faith's grin was positively evil. "Now that you're all married and boring, you don't need to know what store it came from."
Spike just quirked his scarred eyebrow, giving Willow a good look up and down. "The Chamber?" he guessed.
Faith was taken aback. "How would you kn-" She stopped, then grinned. "Yeah, you would know, wouldn't you? Don't tell me little miss tightly-wound's been getting her naughty on..."
Buffy fidgeted under the brunette's leer. "I... Spike and I were just leaving."
"Wait!" Xander called. "You two should come next week. Spike, you'd make a killer villain... and Buff, you could be a Hunter."
"Um, I'm thinking, we have class on Wednesday nights. Right, honey?"
Willow stuck her tongue out, then turned back to Faith. Her entire demeanor changed in an instant. Gone was perkiness, replaced with sensuality. "Bored now," she purred.
Buffy twitched. "Going, now." She grabbed onto Spike, and the two hustled away. "That... was the weirdest thing I have EVER seen..." She shuddered.
Spike just laughed. "Me? A vampire? They're out of their sodding minds. I'd be a terrible vampire."
"Yeah, and if I was a Hunter, that means I'd have to stake you! Or, whatever."
When they finally reached the front door, they were still giggling over their friends' quirkiness. Opening the lock and stepping inside, Buffy flipped on the lights.
"Dad? We're home!" she called. There was no answer, so she just shrugged and wandered into the kitchen. "You still hungry, Spike? I think there's sandwich stuff in here."
"Shouldn't I be getting a cuppa blood?" he snickered. "Oh, and put it in Giles' 'Kiss the Librarian' mug."
Buffy laughed outright. "You're right. You're a terrible vampire. I bet you can't even bite people," she teased.
Spike jumped into the kitchen, his face screwed up into a teeth-baring snarl. "I'll drain you dry and leave your corpse to rot," he threatened.
Buffy looked around the kitchen, and came up with a rolling pin. "I'll stake you before you can blink, monster."
Racing around the counter, Spike began chasing Buffy, who ran out of the room. Up and down the stairs the scampered, laughing and tossing out lame threats.
"Oh, you are one step away, missy!" he growled as he leapt down the last few steps.
"Aww, is the scary vampire hungry? Tormented by a look at my poor neck?" Buffy was still running, but her voice turned taunting and coquettish. "All bare and tender and exposed.. all that blood just .. pumping away... Eep!" she squealed.
The bleached wonder grabbed her by the waist, tackling her down to the living room floor. "Mine!" he snarled, pulling her head to the side and biting down on her neck.
Oh... my... god... Is this really, really sexy, or am I just a sick kinky slut? Buffy went limp, sudden desire washing over her.
Spike pulled away, and looked down at her in concern. "Buffy, love? Are you alright?"
"Um, yeah. I just... tired?" Her excuse sounded lame, even to her.
Spike licked his lips, moving off her. Huh. I've still got Buffy-taste in my mouth...
"Gonna go take a shower," she mumbled hastily, and scrambled out of the living room. Oh God, Oh God... yeah... shower. Cold.
Spike watched her retreating back with mild confusion.
