Chapter Four - I am Woman

Spike wasn't sure what time it was when he woke up but the sun was still in the sky. He heard Dru in the darkened living room. He had trouble sleeping most of the day, understandably. He dragged out of bed and took what was a very weird shower. The body under his washcloth was totally unfamiliar to him. He was dying to know how he looked. He'd have Dru take a photo except he didn't want to remember this ever.

It didn't help his masculinity any to find out he was out of his shampoo and had to use Dru's 'Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific.' A flowery scent pouring out of a purple bottle with rainbow printing made matters worse. After he was done, the confusion was even worse. He couldn't exactly put on his usual 'Brut for men.' What did that leave him with? Dru's Enjoli? "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you're a man.' How he wished. That was some promise from a perfume. He'd give just about anything to get his penis back at this point.

Dru was sitting on the bed with Miss Edith when he stumbled into the bedroom. Her cool eyes raked over him. "What would Angelus say?"

Spike screwed his eyes shut. He'd give anything to never hear that name pass Dru's lips again. "Don't start, Dru."

Dru lifted her chin defiantly. "Daddy always listened to my visions. He knew to trust me."

"Dru," Spike moaned, flopping naked on the bed.

"Gavin is coming with all sorts of pretties for the party tonight. It'll be such fun."

"Yeah, great. He'd better have a name for me," Spike said, playing with his breast, feeling the nipple harden under his touch.

Dru slapped his hand. "Stop that. Miss Edith is ashamed of you." She got up and put the doll on the dresser facing away from him.

"What?" He looked at her bewildered. She pointed at his chest. "It's a novelty. Dru. It's like I can't keep my hands off of them. How do you do it?"

Dru rolled her eyes. "Still a man on the inside."

A sneer kissed his lips. "Damn straight." Spike softened a bit. "Dru, pet, can you leave me alone for a few minutes."

She eyes him suspiciously. "Are you going to be naughty if I do?"

Spike covered his face and sighed. "I just want complete quiet to plot my revenge. Go watch TV. Isn't Coronation Street coming on soon? You like that."

Dru sighed and headed back into the living room, shutting the door behind her. When she was gone, Spike continued the exploration of his new body. He massaged his breasts then slipped a hand between his legs. All the female parts seemed to be there. He gently circled a finger over his new clitoris. His body reacted quickly. The scent of it tickled his nose and the dampness spurred him on.

He had nearly a hundred years of experience bringing Dru to climax this way. An odd pressure built up deep inside him. His hips lifted automatically trying to release that feeling. He slid two fingers along his folds and slipped them inside the cool damp opening.

"Owww." Spike pulled his hand away. "Fuck. Not only am I female, I'm a bloody virgin! Killing the wanker who did this is too good. I'm going to turn him, keep him chained up and torture him for years."

Hearing the front door open, Spike jumped up and flung on jeans. The feel of them against his hypersensitive flesh was terribly distracting but he was embarrassed enough to help deflate the arousal.

"Is he still in there playing with himself, Dru?" Gavin asked.

Still shirtless, Spike flung open the bedroom door. "No, I'm not, you plonker!"

"You ain't exactly dressed are you?" Gavin set down a suitcase he had brought.

Grumbling Spike went to find a shirt. He heard something clicking. "Shit." He squirmed into his shirt and stormed into the living room. "Give me that camera."

"What camera?" Gavin gave him an innocent look.

"I heard it snapping." Spike slammed a hand down on the back of the couch. His body jiggled making him hate it even more.

"You're paranoid." A grin split his pale face. "Or Polaroid as the case may be."

"Dru," Spike pleaded.

She looked up from the t.v. with a shrug. "No camera."

"He's going to blackmail me, you know," Spike said and she shrugged again. "Fine. I get it. Next time I'll listen. Do you have a name for me, Gavin?"

"'Fraid not. Marta had no clue about it. No one was boasting about a sex change spell but hell, can you imagine how rich that will make them? No more going to Switzerland."

"Focus damn it." Spike shoved him. "What about the git who pawed me?"

"Ethan Rayne. The one kissing my sister was Ripper Giles. Marta said they're the best wizards in the lot so it was probably one of them," Gavin replied, flopping on the orange and green flowered velour couch.

"Why do it?" Dru asked.

"Who the hell knows?" Gavin slipped off his Birkenstocks and buried his toes in the orange, gold and green shag carpeting. "With this crew, laughs probably."

"Yeah, fucking hysterical," Spike growled, tossing himself on a trashed striped recliner, whose nauseating hues matched the rest of the decor. ""How about the basket?"

"Marta said they don't have it but one of them knows where to find it." Disappointment creased Gavin's pale face.

"So we go to this benefit tonight and squeeze it out of him," Spike said.

"Exactly and do me a favor, Spike," Gavin said.

"Yeah, sure why not?" Spike snorted. "I mean this is going great so far. What's one more thing?"

"That's the spirit. No doing anything until after Monty Python are done with their benefit skits. I love them and I want to hear this."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Fine. I could use a laugh."

"Doing all sorts of good works…makes us shine like moons." Dru fluffed up her hair. "We need to shine every so often."

"Yippee, charity work. You'd never know we're demons." Spike got up. "Let's go."

"Not dressed like that," Gavin said. "We need to change."

"What's wrong with how I'm dressed?"

"It's a benefit. It's not black tie, but raggedy jeans and a leather jacket isn't going to cut it. I brought you some dresses and boots. Hopefully they fit. I'm a good judge of what woman's shoe will fit on a man's foot but you have such big feet for a little man, Spike."

"Watch it!" Spike shoved Gavin.

"It's true. You're barely taller than Dru. I don't know how those breast don't topple you."

Spike growled wordlessly.

"Dru, help him change and I'll get ready myself," Gavin said.

The vampires disappeared back into the bedroom. Gavin slipped into an electric blue satin body suit with silver platforms boots and wide sequined belt.

"Shit!"

Rolling his eyes, Gavin went in to see what was wrong with Spike this time.

"How do women wear these things?" Spike waved a pair of pantyhose overhead.

Gavin shrugged. "Dru manages it."

"With nails." She wiggled her brilliant candy apple red nails in Spike's face.

"I can't get them up."

"I used to have a boyfriend with the same problem." Gavin plucked the pantyhose from Spike, got on his knees and started putting the hose on for him. "You're utterly hopeless, you know that."

"This from a ruddy poofter! I can't help it. I'm not a bloody bint." Spike moaned as Gavin's hands slid up his legs. He wished it didn't feel so damn erotic.

"From this angle, I have to disagree," Gavin replied.

"Quit looking." Spike tried to kick but the pantyhose had him trapped.

"Trust me, I could live happily with never seeing that part of a woman," Gavin said. "There. You can get them the rest of the way up. Who's getting what dress?"

Dru held up the red and green sequin plaid skirt with the handkerchief hem and crocheted lace black crop top. "Mine. All bright like Christmas morning."

"What does that leave me?" Spike asked.

"The gypsy outfit," Gavin said. "You'll get to wear the fun boots."

"Oh, great." Dru handed him a bra and Spike looked at it as if it were from another planet. "What?"

"Put it on," she instructed.

"Bollocks." Spike fumbled with the catches. He was used to removing bras, not putting them on. "Hell, this is very uncomfortable."

"I know," Dru said, slithering into the skirt.

"What's this wire thing inside it for?" Spike fiddled with his under wire.

"Support."

"Where's the dress?" Spike put his hands on the small of his back trying to crack it. "I think that spell did more to me than the obvious. My back hurts."

"That's normal," Dru said, pulling on her shirt.

"Normal? You're kidding? Breasts make your back hurt?" Spike stared at his lover, stunned.

"All part of being the earth mother, my pet, being one with the tides and the moon," Dru replied, swaying as if caught in those tides.

"Being a woman rots." Spike picked up the gauzy dress. "How many layers are on this thing?"

"Oh for hell's sake just pull it over your head," Gavin said, his patience eroding.

Grumbling under his breath, Spike pulled it on. The burgundy material was soft and sensual to him. Dru belonged in this and he could imagine her shimmying out of it a bit at a time. That wet feeling between his legs started plaguing him again at the mere thought of Dru's striptease and his pantyhose wasn't helping with the dampness.

"Here you go." Gavin handed him a black vest.

"What now?" Spike groaned.

"Dru help him."

She put the vest on and pulled the strings tight. The little bells on the drawstrings jingled as she tightened it under his breasts.

"Dru, it hurts. I can't do this. Something is jabbing me!"

She stomped her foot at him then reached around and undid his bra through the cloth. "Take it off."

"How? I feel like a sausage?" Spike felt the tears of frustration building in his eyes but he'd be damned if he cried in front of Gavin.

"You used to love my corset and petticoats." Dru slipped a hand inside his neckline and slid a strap off his shoulder and down the angel sleeve of his blouse. He followed suit on the other side and Dru pulled the bra free.

He whistled, impressed. "Neat trick."

"Here's the cry baby's sash," Gavin said, handing it to Dru.

"Watch who you're calling a cry baby," Spike snarled as Dru tied the bell ladened sash around his narrow waist.

Gavin ignored him, dragging out two sets of boots from the suitcase. Dru snatched up the knee-high black vinyl platform boots with bright paisley hearts on them. Spike looked at the remaining boots, leather thigh-high black witch's boots with three-inch stiletto heels.

"What the hell are those?" He stabbed a pale finger at them.

"They complete the outfit," Gavin replied.

Spike shook his head frantically. "How am I supposed to walk in heels?"

"Just think of it as a chance to be tall," Gavin shot back and Spike punched him. Gavin wasn't fazed. Spike really had to wonder what Gavin was to ignore a shot like that.

"I'm going to fall and snap my neck."

"So long as you don't fall on any pesky pieces of wood you'll be fine," Dru said, doing a little catwalk for Gavin who made appreciative noises.

Spike shot a glare her way and struggled into the boots. "If I have to wear these boots, why did I need panty hose?"

"For the fun of it all, love." Gavin winked at him.

"Bloody hell."

"Oh, quit grousing," Dru said.

They stood Spike up off the bed and Dru showed him how to walk in his heels. Spike wasn't very good at it. He kept turning his ankles then got mad and tried to tromp around. They made his back, neck and knees ache. He had a new appreciation for Dru. When she was finally satisfied, she kissed him lightly.

"Dru, Spike, look here."

They turned and Gavin snapped a picture. He waved his hands and the camera disappeared again.

"You are so dead," Spike growled. He tried to run and nearly killed himself.

"Like to see you try, Princess. Let's go."

"Gavin, this basket thing had better make me rich if I have to go through all of this," Spike said as Dru slid a charm bracelet on her dainty wrist.

"It will. Hmmm, you have a bad hair-do for this outfit. Too short," Gavin said, studying Spike.

"I am not wearing a wig. Live with it. Do we need tickets or something to get in?" Spike asked.

"Taken care of," Gavin said, leading the way out to his car.