Rediscovering the Joy
Tuesday, February 5, 2002
Suburbia, California 


I am truly loving my job again.

There was a time that I was ready to leave, so burnt out was I with life's travails. My father -- my biggest inspiration --  fell ill. My beloved Laki unexpectedly took flight to the Other Side, followed soon after by Dad's departure.

I was a brave little soldier. I carried on, putting on a cheerful face at work, never letting on to my clients that my heart was broken into a million pieces.  There was no need to impose my sadness on them. 

Grief held me prisoner, and the loosening of its grip has taken time. Five years.  I know this because lately, I've caught myself not just smiling, but laughing out loud at work.

"Death is the starlit strip between 
the companionship of yesterday 
and the reunion of tomorrow."
~ On a monument erected to honor Mark Twain, 
by Ossip Gabrilowitsch

Thanks to DH, Cia and Doni, those I serve,  and The Creator, I was able to remained faithful to my commitment.  And now, I am once again being rewarded in full, intrinsic measure. I am having fun doing what I do, and my work days are full of happy moments. We have the best clientele -- the nicest people. 

Having been humbled by life's pain and suffering, yet strengthened by them,  I have gained a new insight and enthusiasm for work and those I serve, even during times of tremendous change. 

I am involved in the moment, appreciating it.  I am truly here for my clients, focusing my full attention to the experience at hand.  I block out the distractions and concentrate on each client encounter.  No longer is my attention directed to the past or the future.

I've come to an acceptance of both my strengths and weaknesses.  I no longer push myself. I've paid my dues, and I don't need to keep paying them.  I pace myself.  I balance work with love, pleasure, and relaxation. I have learned to exercise compassion for myself.  And in so doing, I have greater empathy and understanding for my staff and my clients.

I'm finding it easier to look positively at my mistakes and use them as opportunities for growth. Most of all, I am now able to look beyond the routine tasks and daily hassles to the positive contributions I make to my individual clients and those with whom I work, as well as to society itself.

Like my predecessor and mentor,  I am learning patience.  He was an ideal role model.  He waited patiently.  If he could do that, so can I.

"It's very strange that the years teach us patience -- that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting."
 ~ Elizabeth Taylor

"Life is a Gift."

Author Unknown

P.S.  If you would like to share a portion of yourself with words, in response to this journal entry, you may do it here.  

 "The only gift is a portion of thyself..."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


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This web journal was created on a September Morn, 
September 29, 2001
September Morn 2002