an old person dies, it is like a library burning."
~ Alex Haley, ROOTS
been said that "A seeker's almost religious obligation is to
follow the string to its very end no matter where it may
lead." One day I will die and who knows, that string
may lead that seeker here. Long after I am gone, for the
indefatigable seeker, the last piece in the puzzle may be waiting
right here in this obscure corner of the Web. And so
today on my 50th birthday, I begin to preserve my
"library" -- hopefully, safe from burning fires -- by
stuffing this online "bottle" with my life's
As far back as memory takes me, I've had a raging love affair with
Not a binky or blanky for me. My security blanket was a small
collection of Golden Books.
||These delightful books
companions, going everywhere with me. Mother
Goose nursery rhymes, heart-warming stories,
and fairytales engaged my budding curiosity.
strung together and painting dazzling pictures in my mind, the words in these little hard cover books were
I loved them all.
My imagination was fired up and I joined the grand adventures
of fascinating characters like Pat the
Bunny, The Poky Little Puppy, The Little Red Caboose,
Bambi, The Ugly Duckling, and Lassie.
Anyone who took the time to
read aloud to me became the bearer of the best gifts of my
childhood and became my instant best friend. Divine Providence surrounded me with people who obliged, particularly
my parents, big sister, sitters and pre-school teachers who shared my love for
books. Introducing me to the joys of reading and
the adventures of learning, they were the best friends of my
generous gifts, I am eternally grateful.
"The words loved me
and I loved them in return.
One of my best friends, however, was not a reader. He was a
writer of words who gifted me prodigiously.
My world expanded beyond the
Golden Books and I discovered a most versatile writer. I
assumed he was a "he" as his first name sounded a lot like
Unko Atta Lie-man's (Uncle Arthur Lyman's).
This person named "Atta Ah-Nohn" had written many of my
favorite stories, poems, and fairy-tales. Early on, I felt a good deal of
kindliness toward him. Atta Ah-Nohn's clever words delighted my ears and tickled my insides.
I was impressed and inspired by his ability to string lots and
lots of words together.
I remember thinking, "Maybe one day, like "Atta Ah-Nohn,"
I'll be a writer too. What fun it would be to write stories and
poems all day long."
The day did eventually come when the words 'author' and 'unknown' dovetailed into my
awareness, and I realized that Atta
Unknown , who wasn't one person,
but many persons! Any writer whose name was not known was cited as "Author
Like Mainers and
Bostoners, Hawai`i folks drop the letter "r" when
speaking the local patois called pidgin English (also known in academic
circles as Hawaiian Creole English). Mother is "madda"
and butter is "buddah." And the word
"author" and the name "Arthur" are identically
pronounced in pidgin as "Atta."
Unknown meant exactly that:
the author is *not*
known, perhaps because the name has been lost through time. Or
perhaps because the author wanted his or her identity to remain
Whenever I happen upon
the attribution, Author Unknown, I
shake my head over my kid "dopey-ness". Today, as I sat in
front of this computer conjuring up a pseudonym for this journal, I
chuckled outright, when this came into consciousness:
honor my imaginary best friend of my childhood -- and all other unattributed authors -- by
Unknown", as my pen
name for this online journal.
"I Wish to Remain Anonymous"
or "Unattributed Author" just
do have the same personal
significance or ring.
Calm, contemplative thought restores me.
Solitary pursuits defrag my mental hard disc. I love to think.
I like to get lost in reverie.
Basically, I like having the time and solitude to do both, undisturbed.
Being alone is good for me.
I seek out quiet places to be still, to introspect and reacquaint
myself with myself.
"I feel the same
way about solitude as some people feel about the blessing of the church.
It's the light of grace for me. I never close my door behind me
without the awareness that I am carrying out an act of mercy toward myself."
Working in a mainstream, people-intense arena, I lead a public professional life. I conscientiously seek
anonymity in my private life, although I don't believe I'm obsessive-compulsive about it.
Ok, ok. So I could be mistaken for someone in the Witness Protection Program in
hats, baseball caps or visors and dark glasses whenever I'm out and about.
I'm ... shy?
I just discovered
that I am the ultimate highly sensitive person (HSP).
I scored a perfect on the self-test
for this trait. More on this trait can
be found here.
Fascinating reading! 'Splains it perfectly! I'm not shy. Just
highly sensitive. Heh! The following makes complete sense:
Truth be told, I feel deeply for the begrudgingly famous,
including the notoriously
private J.D. Salinger of CATCHER IN THE RYE fame, cloistered up in his hillside aerie,
much like the reclusive movie character, William Forrester, in
The irony of a private person keeping an online journal is not lost on me. If I want privacy, I am going
about it in a very strange way -- by inviting perfect strangers to read my private thoughts?
It must be that kid dopey-ness peeking through.
As reclusive as I am wont to be, I nevertheless enjoy reading the WHO entries that online journalers
include on their sites, as these entries "flesh" out the writer and help me to understand the writer.
WHO pages add context. Fair is fair; if you are interested, you are
welcome to join in that discovery. Maybe, here, you'll find a
part of yourself too.
Although in my senior
years, I am still caught up in the process of discovering who I am and what I might
become. I retain the passionate curiosity of an
|What I write here are
streams-of-consciousness. So now is a good time to bail
out if this is not your cup of tea.
to read further unless you want to. Continue reading by choice
do not take ANYTHING personally.
"Fame is only good for one thing:
they will cash your check in a small town."
Here are snippets of me:
I am the quintessential Keirsey INFJ (Counselor).
I share the same temperament type as Mahatma Gandhi and Eleanor Roosevelt. Perhaps it should
not be such a surprise for me to learn this, as both are two of my all-time
INFJs are the
rarest of birds. Just 1% of the population. But our impact on the world, it's been said, makes up
for our lack of numbers.
says we tend to be
psychic. Okay, so how come none of us predicted the events of
My other human heroes include Albert
Schweitzer, The Peace
Teresa, Henry David Thoreau,
Oprah, and the brave souls of
September 11, 2001: the New York City firemen, police officers,
and rescue workers and the undaunted passengers who overcame the
I am introverted. Does this mean "anti-social"? No.
I like and love people, in general; I am
totally devoted to more than just a few. Simply, I enjoy being with people in smaller doses than
I am intuitive.
I am a feeling person. I am more driven by my heart
than with my head. Being a feeling person, does not, however, mean
I like things just right. I prefer structure and
discipline over "whenever, whatever, however."
saying, "A place for everything and everything in its
place" makes perfectly good sense to me. I like
things organized, neat, clean, and uncluttered. Although I
prefer this way of way of being, this doesn't mean that my
world is always pristine and orderly.
Sometimes, when I am
preoccupied with a project or kicking back and letting things fall
where they may, I can be as messy
as the Peanut's (Charles
Schultz's) cartoon character, Pigpen -- that 'human
soil bank,' but not for very long.
more than exist; live.
Do more than look; observe.
Do more than read; absorb.
Do more than hear; listen.
Do more than think; ponder.
Do more than talk; say something."
~ Author Unknown
I am a lifetime
my 14 year college career as a foreign language major, formally
studying Spanish, French, and Japanese. In my forties, I
studied Hawaiian and informally, Italian.
Some people collect
keepsakes; others, baubles. I
collect words. I am a raving lunatic for words.
word geek. Dictionaries
and lexicons are precious to me.
These are my favorite
angelic, blessing, bliss, blue, bunny, butterfly, calm, caress,
celestial, cerise, charisma, creativity, crystalline, daffodil,
dawn, darling, dear, delicious, desire, dew, divinity, dolphin,
effervescent, elegance, eloquence, enchanting, enlightening,
exuberance, epiphany, essence, eternity, fairy, faith, fawn, fluffy,
free, gentle, glistening, glow, glory, grace, happy, harmony, home,
honeydew, honor, hope, journey, joy, juicy, kindness, kisses, love,
lullaby, luminescence, lyrical, melody, mercy, moonlight, morning,
muse, mysterious, mystical, peace, puppy, purple, quiescent,
quintessential, rain, rainbow, radiance, renaissance, rest, saffron,
satin, serenity, September, serendipity, simplicity, sincerity, sky,
snowflake, soft, sparkling, splendiferous, starlight, subtle,
sunlight, sunshine, synchronicity,
tranquillity, trusting, twinkle, whisper, wonderful, zephyr
Search engines, especially http://google.com, and online dictionaries
http://www.m-w.com and thesauruses are my wildest dreams come
In second grade, I experienced a clairvoyant moment of the most vivid
and lucid kind. I visualized typing a word in a box and its meanings would pop up.
| It looked just like
undergraduate, I became
fascinated with the study of human behavior: Psychology. I loved learning about learning,
cognition, and motivation. I studied behavioral
as an undergraduate; humanistic
psychology as a graduate student.
I graduated with a double major in Psychology and The Fine
Squeezing in as many art classes between requisite classes, I
decompressed with art history classes of the Renaissance, Impressionistic, and Modern periods,
as well as drawing, design, composition, sculpture, and jewelry design.
Art provides me with a creative outlet and a sense of freedom.
I am prone to “coloring OUTSIDE the lines.”
One day, when I retire
from my "day job", I
look forward to resuming the carefree, ever-stimulating life of a full-time
student in the creative arts. Being an
eternal student is my heart's ambition and delight. With an
unsatiable curiosity, I continue to actively learn about the world, enrolling in classes that
catch my fancy.
For the time being, I
have no complaints, as my heart is
happy. Simply living my life has been an amazing education. I am constantly
from master teachers, who just happen to be my family,
friends, co-workers and those I serve.
is that science which will prepare the human mind to become the
fittest and most proper instrument for discovering, applying, and
obeying the laws of the Universe."
~ Mary Lyon, founder of Mount Holyoke College
a student of Feng Shui.
In 2000, on a lark, my
husband and I took a class on Feng Shui.
|| We learned that Feng
Shui, as taught by Larry
Sang, Ph.D. of the American Feng Shui Institute, was a mathematically-based science that is far more
profound and logical than we ever imagined.
What does Feng Shui have
in common with the differential and integral calculus which became
the basis for modern mathematics, co-invented by the great thinkers Newton
and Leibnitz and today's computer bits and bytes? All
from the binary calculations of the Yi Jing (formerly spelled, I Ching)!
Feng Shui's logic,
abstractness and practicality captured our interest and we began our
serious study of the ancient Asian science of traditional/classical Feng Shui,
as opposed to faddist Feng Shui, by taking online and weekend
Delving into the
intricacies and complexities of Feng Shui, our interest was fully
captured, and with fixity of purpose, we rapidly progressed through the beginner,
intermediate and advanced classes. We are putting this ancient
science's knowledge to practical use by designing our
retirement home according to Feng Shui and green-building
He is happiest who finds peace in his home.
I am a reader.
pervasively, quintessentially, I am a seeker. A knowledge seeker,
that is. I am insatiable, ever hungry for mental
I am the ultimate bookworm and info addict, with a huge passion for books, words, languages, and
May I be
mindful, receptive and humble, remembering that the warrior is the forever
student, and in fact only an eternal student may eventually become a master.
I get a little money, I buy books;
and if any is left, I buy food and clothes."
Books remain my security blanket; I never leave home without one.
As long as books exist,
I'll never need to get high on drugs. Ideas and thoughts do
it for me.
Voracious reading satisfies my curiosity
about life and living.
Among my favorite books
are WATCHERS by Dean Koontz (I run into used bookstores to buy up
copies to give away); MAGNIFICENT OBSESSION by Lloyd C.
Douglas; THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill (think spiritual
riches, not necessarily material); HAWAII by James Michener;
COMPANIONS ALONG THE WAY by Ruth
Montgomery; THE AGONY AND THE
ECSTACY by Irving Stone; EAST
OF EDEN by John
Steinbeck; (not for the faint-hearted): THE
IMPERSONAL LIFE (also known as The
Impersonal Life: The Little Book in Which Elvis Found the Light:
Graceland Edition) -- now online in its entirety here
-- and THE
WAY OUT by Author Unknown; and TO KILL A
MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee. Other miscellaneous favorites can
be found here.
Each one is a keeper.
As a corollary, I enjoy movies that are adapted from books:
LIKE WATER FOR
OF LIFE, CHOCOLAT,
THE AGONY AND THE
I am a member of Oprah's
5/2003: I chanced upon the work of Byron
Katie: LOVING WHAT IS and am now quite smitten with it. Its
simplicity belies its effectiveness. More on "The Work" by
Byron Katie is found here.
is to the mind what exercise is to the body."
~ Joseph Addison
I am a nerd.
||nerd: an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially : one
slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits <computer nerds, book
nerds> Etymology: perhaps from nerd, a creature in the children's book IF I RAN THE
ZOO (1950) by Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) Date: 1951 ~Merriam-Webster
Contrary to the dictionary definition, I possess a modicum of stylishness, but not
a whole lot more; I am just okay in looks -- hardly ravishing, but with the help of
makeup, not exactly plain.
beauty that comes from within -- and its nurturance and enhancement
-- is far more important to me that the outer shell.
I am socially ept when I choose to be. Those who think they know me well
are surprised, if not shocked, to learn that I am not an extrovert, as my people-oriented job demands an outgoing, outer-directed persona.
Calculus was my favorite class in college. I studied Physics, Biochemistry, and Organic
Chemistry with relish.
nerd. Told you so.
be concerned about the outward beauty
that depends on jewelry, or
beautiful clothes, or hair arrangement.
Be beautiful inside,
in your hearts,
with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet charm,
which is so precious to God."
~ Peter the Rock
a born optimist.
No doubt in my mind,
heart, and soul: there is a silver
lining behind every cloud. And every cloud is heaven-sent.
I strive to live The
Optimist's Creed. When I fail to do so, I am reminded that God is
not done with me and I am a work in progress.
Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
Make all your friends feel there is something in them.
Look at the sunny side of everything.
Be as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
Forget the mistakes of the past and press on
to the greater achievements of the future.
Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself
that you have no time left to criticize others.
Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.
~ Christian D. Larsen
the German philosopher and mathematician, I find merit in the
thinking that "Evil exists, but only to accentuate goodness,
one cannot be without the other." My
take on things: God is good and we live in the best of possible
worlds, one in which everything is for the best and serves a higher
purpose, no matter how terrible it may seem.
I wear many hats.
||I am a health care provider, by
By avocation, I am a reader, healer,
teacher/storyteller, gardener, friend of animals, classical and Hawaiian
music lover, Hawaiian
language student, hula dancer, senior
citizen, trusted friend, loving wife and mother, doting aunt and
godmother, Web site creator, activist for what is true, beautiful and noble in the
world, and dreamer.
Passions elevate the soul to great things.
~ Denis Diderot
I am a worker bee.
I have worked a myriad of jobs for love,
play and/or pay.
My grandfather and
father were my childhood role models and inspirations when it came to work.
From humble origins, both were Horatio Alger-types who became
self-made successes through their own efforts, determination and perseverance.
I adhere to their formula for success: Work with passion. Do
more than you are paid for. Go the extra mile. Give back.
(Variants: Gambatte! Gambaru! Literal meaning:
"to adhere to something with tenacity." Approximate English translations are "Hang in
there!," "Don't give up!," "Do your best!,"
and "Give it your all!")
The apple that is me did not fall
far from the family tree, as I have given every employer I've ever
worked for my best effort. Grateful for the privilege and
opportunities, I have left every job on good terms. Making
certain that no one was left on a lurch, I made it a
practice to train my successors -- on my time -- before I
moved on. I moved on, and on, and on...
Although I may
appear like a job hopper from the look of this list, I have been at
the same job as a self-employed health care provider for twenty
worked as a baker's helper, babysitter, field worker, delivery
person, gardener, laborer, drive-in worker, assembly-line worker,
phone operator, salesperson, seamstress, barber, laboratory assistant,
grader, office assistant, office manager, graduate
assistant, tutor, psychometrician, state government researcher, federal inspector, teacher, counselor, college instructor, lecturer, story-teller, researcher,
administrator, health care provider, and corporate
board member, Web site creator, writer, hospice volunteer.
Every work opportunity
has been an invaluable gift. Serving as stepping stones to where I am
now, they provided me with work skills, attitudes, values and meaningful life lessons. The
menial positions have been as important, if not more important, as
the 'loftier' positions, as they prepared the foundation for my
later undertakings. Most of all they have helped me to become
a whole person without airs or pretensions.
It is clear to me that my 'emotional
salary' is far more important to me than any financial
compensation. Working ethically and being socially and
environmentally responsible are far more important to me than a
I restrict the investments of my time, energy,
expertise and resources to those activities that focus on
win-win-win “triple bottom lines”: fair profits, people and
Whatever you are,
be a good one.
I am magnificently
I live a life surrounded
by books, but there is just a short stack of books that I can say
having touched my soul, made a lasting impact for eternity.
This is one of those books:
My life has been profoundly influenced by the book MAGNIFICENT
OBSESSION, written by an Indiana native son, Lloyd
C. Douglas (1877-1951), at age 52.
The work, Douglas' first work,
was rejected by two major publishers. It was issued by a small
religious publishing firm in 1929 and
became a huge success, selling
three million copies. In the 1930s, Douglas became one of
the most popular novelists in the United States.
This book was one of a series of
books that came into my life in "mysterious ways" shortly after my death experience (more
on this later), each seeming to mirror aspects of my life.
book touched and inspired me; to this day, its
huge impression lasts, influencing every day of my
I recommend this book (along with
THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill) to anyone looking for a sure-fire
formula for a successful, fulfilling life and spiritual
riches. Though written in the 1920s, it is a book that
provides an insightful path for these times. In a nutshell,
it is about giving from the heart, which is truly
selfless charity that is done so quietly that not even "the left hand
knows what the right is doing."
all about Aloha.
Reading this book planted me on a
Robert Frost's road less traveled, and "that has made all the
difference", bringing unimagined success and happiness and goodness into my life.
The WHO page would not be complete without a brief description of
this book. I include the following with the clear intention of paying
it forward to you, the seeker/reader.
Magnificent Obsession, Lloyd
Cassell Douglas tells the readable
and engaging story of
a wealthy, self-indulgent, and irresponsible playboy named Bobby Merrick. One day
he awakens out of a coma, a consequence of a speedboat accident resulting
from his own reckless thrill-seeking. He would have perished as a drowning
victim had it not been for a revered and beloved surgeon who
himself dies because of the rescue
effort to save him.
that his life had cost another's, a repentant young Merrick seeks redemption by
remaking his life. He becomes a doctor
himself, trying to fill the kindly doctor's shoes and give back to the world what he had taken. He succeeds
in doing this, but he discovers that there was far more more to the
life of the older doctor than met the eye.
cracking a code in the older doctor's journal, Merrick discovers that
that man had lived a life of service, selflessly -- and
anonymously -- giving himself to hundreds of people in different
ways. To some, he gave his money; to others, time and counsel; and to others, he
donated his skill and talents.
For every good deed he exacted one
promise only ... that the recipient was never to reveal the fact of
the doctor's help, nor was he or she to repay the doctor, but to
do a good deed for someone else.
Merrick, the doctor's example of anonymous altruism becomes a
magnificent obsession. He himself becomes consumed with the task of
helping others--sacrificing his time, effort, and money in order
to do so. Merrick asks that stories of his good deeds are not
spread in order that he too may be rewarded in a more meaningful
way than glory or material riches. He seeks to be a humble servant
and not seek glory on Earth but in Heaven.
soon learns that the more he
poured out, the more he found to pour out. And the more he gave
himself to others, the more he himself was mysteriously given from
Filled with goodwill,
this book is a marvelous godsend. It illustrates how when a person
has an intention to do good by seeking the happiness of others as well as
one's own, The Creator meets that person MORE than halfway. Powerful for anyone ready to act
on its message, this book may be as life-changing for you as it
was for me. The book's lesson made perfect sense to me: seek solely the
recognition that counts -- God's.
everyone can be famous
but everyone can be great
because greatness is determined by service."
Martin Luther King Jr.
After reading it, I was impelled
to take bold steps to truly serve others and in the spirit of the book, to do so without
receiving recognition. Suffice it to say, I
have been magnificently obsessed for over 25 years. Making people
happy makes me happy. 'Nuff said. I shall divulge no more. Something
about using it all up...
Readers of this book will know exactly of what I speak.
Read MAGNIFICENT OBSESSION for yourself.
If you are skittish or wary about books on spiritual or religious topics, know
that this book is not lame, tinny or preachy in the least.
Rather, it is a carefully woven and intriguing
story which inspired Hollywood to make two romantic movies, first in1935 and
as a remake in 1954. I would love to see it remade again in the 21st
Filmed in the San Bernardino
mountains, Southern California. Synchronistically, I now
weekend nearby and plan to retire there.
version starring Jane Wyman (the first Mrs. Ronald Reagan) and Rock
Hudson in the role of Bobby Merrick was a box office hit. Directed by
multiple Academy Award winner Douglas Sirk, it was
considered a classic for years thereafter.
Jane Wyman won the Academy Award for Best
Actress for her performance in this movie, and Rock Hudson's made him a star.
Please don't settle
for just watching the movie.
With a watered down storyline, it is a poor substitute for the book.
you've found the way it will obsess you,
but it will be a Magnificent Obsession."
~ Lloyd C. Douglass, The Robe
I am a country bumpkin,
Growing up way out in the sticks, next to a dense
rainforest on a tropical island was one of the biggest blessings in my life.
graphic to enlarge
|Outside Disneyland, few
people live storybook, idyllic childhoods. Mine came close, although like
everyone else with family ghosts, I negotiated life's
stepping-stones with my share of blows and let-downs, thank goodness
without any Dickensonian bleakness.
Instead, weekdays, I lived on
the outskirts of a thriving inland village of Pahoa on
the island of Hawai`i at a time when it was populated by about a
glimpse of my home village:
Weekends, my family retreated to a sunny shore near
the famous black sand beach of Kalapana. On that
sun-drenched, eastern-most coast of the
island, my family spent our happiest years together at our cozy beach
house in Kapoho.
then, there was no TV reception in that isolated corner of the
island, making for our best family times. There was a closeness that
we never had during the work week. We ate together, played together,
sang off-key together, baked cookies, and took the time to 'talk
story' and communicate in ways that few families do
It was a peaceful place
to just kick back and relax, lie on a hammock under the shade of the
hala trees, and dreamily pick out shapes in the clouds. When not exploring the
shoreline and its tidal pools,
fishing, crabbing, and swimming with the sea turtles,
countless hours away reading stacks and stacks of books of every
genre. We became a family of avid readers.
Sunrise House, the home
of my childhood, Kapoho,
I am drawn to
Although I spent my
childhood in tranquil, pastoral settings, I have since spent most of my life in suburban and
urban environments. I love country living, wistfully yearning and
pining at times for an earlier, simpler time:
Want to Be Six
No überconsumer, I am
low key and low-maintenance
(my husband and I even cut -- hack? -- each other's hair).
I visit malls but rarely. Instead, I escape the concrete jungle and head for the hills, every chance I get.
I am drawn to nature. That's an
understatement. I actively seek it. I crave it. I
require its solitude. Its silence.
need to find God
and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature -- trees, flowers, grass -- grow in silence;
see the stars, the moon and the sun,
how they move in silence...
We need silence to be able to touch souls.
~ Mother Teresa
I thrive in peaceful, quiet and dry environments, especially lofty
mountains, calm waters, the four seasons, and sunny, open spaces with gentle winds or cool breezes. I languish in
summer's heat wilts me. Also due to severe mold allergies, as much as I love the
beauty of tropical climes, I do not linger long in the summer
One day, when I retire, I hope to
"winter-and-spring" in Hawai`i and "summer-and-fall" in the cool
mountains of Southern California.
needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and give strength
to body and soul."
~ John Muir
I am in love with a kind, loving, and interesting
person, the better half of our
marriage. (I am not being modest.)
Two Hares in Moonlight
by Cho Tai Eok
human writes in English
(my husband) and I were born 20 days apart in the same month, 20 miles apart, but did not meet until we were 20
years old. We were born in the Year of the
fell in love at first sight, at a time when I was not looking for
love. Yes, that jolt of electricity between two people destined for
each other really does happen.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him.
The love of learning and
for Nature provided the sparks that ignited a love eternal. One
summer, we both returned home to our home island of Hawai`i and
shared a fated conversation with a glance.
Both undergraduates at the time, we enrolled in a plant science
(local foliage identification) class at the University of Hawaii at
Hilo (aka Hilo College). We were lab partners. Ever
since, we have
been partners in every way, enjoying each other's company.
After that fateful
summer in 1972, we returned to our respective colleges; he, to the
University of Hawai`i, Mânoa and me, to Indiana
University. In spite of the
miles that separated us and tested our bond, we became each other's best friend,
confidante and beloved.
| We learned that we were close enough in style, vision and
core values to make a solid collaboration possible but
sufficiently different in temperament to make partnership
interesting. Ours is the sort of Odd couple convergence that
Two years later in 1974, we were
married. I am planning our next wedding in 2004
when we will renew our wedding vows on our 30th
anniversary. It will be the simple wedding I had hoped
for back in 1974.
Our marriage gave
direction and purpose to our lives, and over the years, our relationship has evolved into a friendly, respectful association
of equals, rather than the division, dependency and exploitation of
Our seemingly glaring
differences are actually one of our greatest sources of strength. He's my oak. I am his bamboo.
I can wax rhapsodic about DH: he is bright, fun,
nonjudgmental, with a good sense of humor. I openly adore him. He
tickles me pink.
When it comes to matters of the heart, I
am neither a gypsy, nor a man-izer. I like
the white picket fence, couple with two dogs, "Home, Sweet Home" wall
camper in the driveway version of domestic bliss.
New Year's, 2003
I am a practicing
monogamist. When I'm with my guy, I'm with my guy. We strive
to live happily-ever-after every day and choose not to
view life through a glass darkly.
"Life is short; make it
sweet" could well be our joint mantra. I am constantly
looking for excuses to celebrate our lives together.
No one does happy better than we do.
We are especially happy at
a sushi bar, Disneyland/California Adventure, our backyard, and most happy at our mountain-top
sweet idyll named Heaven. In our element, we can also get downright giddy:
giggling, gabbing and generally glowing.
Go ahead, those cynics
who have come this far: Gag, if you
thou love Life?
Then do not squander Time;
for that's the stuff Life is made of.
~ Benjamin Franklin
As much as we each enjoy our own
company, we enjoy each other's: talking and laughing; dining in (DH is an adventuresome
taking walks with our dogs; schussing down the slopes at nearby Snow Summit; and
biking. Listening to classical and Hawaiian music; reading novels and poetry to each other; quietly talking and sipping wine on the front porch
swing; or blissfully enjoying silence's eloquence bring us joy and give us peace of mind.
We were recently
described as: "Utterly charming, unassuming
people. Down to earth.” This perception of us pleases
Inn, 2001, Carmel, CA
DH is a scientist-educator, much loved by his students, a younger, warmer, more
easy-going version of Mr.Chips. By avocation, he is a gifted,
self-deprecating musician, playing jazz, classical, and slack key guitar with
disciplined finesse. In a nutshell, he is an ISFJ (A Protector).
Eliot, "I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am
loved." And DH tells me so, and more importantly shows me so, every day in every way.
I reciprocate in kind.
We're good to
each other, and we're good for each other. We are true partners. Every day I catch myself
smiling in gratitude.
To think, I almost backed
out of our wedding due to a severe case of
frostbitten feet. Disbelieving that a happy marriage was possible for me, I almost blew
my chances for a fairy-tale marriage. My father and DH used
their love for me as a blow torch to get me walking down that
neither of my parents were romantics in the least, I am. My
and Ted, the most loving and devoted couple I've ever known,
taught me the art of marriage by example. As they never did, I do not take our
marriage for granted.
"For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is love, there is love."
~ Paul Stookey, The
Wedding Song / There is Love
I am a parent.
we have no biological kids, by
choice, we are proud parents. Family isn't always what you're born with -- sometimes it's the people you find, sometimes it's the people who find you.
was four, my mother laid a newborn baby in my arms, saying,
"This is your own little dolly." I believed her
entirely, and regarded my younger sister as my own
and I also share significant parts of our hearts and lives with our
extended 'ohana (family in Hawaiian): our two
extraordinarily wonderful goddaughters, Samara
and Alana S, who, at early ages, lost their father to his first and fatal heart attack at
age 40, and their uncommonly devoted mother, Sue, and Jonathan,
Samara's husband, our sweetheart godson-in-law.
We are so proud of all
of them. A few years ago, Sue moved down here from
Northern California. Samara and Alana have since graduated
from universities in San Diego, where Samara met Jonathan. Now
everyone lives within driving distance, and we have altered
our retirement plans of moving back to Hawai`i. As for many
parents, home becomes where the kids are -- and these are our hânai
Temecula, CA 2002
Together, as a family,
we share a storehouse of precious memories of life's sweetest
for July 2003: We are expecting! Expecting to be
god-GRANDPARENTS in February, 2004!!!!
and Jonathan have picked out names for us, grandparents. Sue
will be Tutu Sue -- tutu means "Gramma" in
Hawaiian. DH will be G-pa and I will be G-ma. Love it,
love it, love it.
Children are apt to live up to
what you believe of them.
~Lady Bird Johnson
am owned by two dogs.
grew up in a dog-loving family, as did DH. I
am besotted with dogs. I have yet to meet a dog I haven't liked.
DH and I have been owned by two generations of dogs. We lost our first generation of dogs,
Happy and Lucky (aka Hau`oli and Laki), to
the infirmities of age. Years later, we still grieve their passings
them more than words can say, while eternally grateful for our
Three years later, gratitude finally conquered the loss. This
summer, I finally opened up the last of my heart's guarded recesses to our
second generation of dogs,
Freddy B. Once more, I am utterly vulnerable.
a sucker for dog-stories. My
all-time favorite novel is WATCHERS
by Dean Koontz, a storyteller par excellence with a remarkably vivid
imagination who conveys profound spiritual insights in compelling
Don't Shop" ~ "Spay...Don't
One of the novel's lead characters is a
heartwarming golden retriever named
Einstein, who has been genetically engineered for intelligence.
Einstein reasons, intuits, thinks, and communicates, while retaining
his sweet, joyful, and loving dog spirit.
Not surprisingly I am wholly supportive of dog rescue
I love animals, period. The
humanitarian, Albert Schweitzer, taught me to have a reverence for all living things. My co-workers goodnaturedly laugh at me whenever
I relocate a lost spider in our offices, carefully wrapped in a Kleenex, out into the
garden where it belongs.
I am, however, still working on my reverence for mosquitoes. Strongly
allergic to their bites' saliva, I slap at
them without compunction. No mercy for those thirsty bloodsuckers.
|Dolphins are also
especially dear to me. We have been privileged to share
their watery spaces with them in the wild in Hawaiian waters --
and only at their
invitation. They have been unfailingly gracious and
hospitable. I need no convincing: they are a lot brighter than
us humans, and certainly, more joyful.
Dolphins frolic. They laugh and smile
alot. Their message: live joyfully.
Laughter is a noisy smile!
I am, as is DH, private, behind-the-scenes, quiet-and-efficient kind of folks.
we are involved with our community and neighborhood, we enjoy
each other's company most.
Please don't ever drop in on
us unannounced. Living
in a suburban area for most of the week, we
are beleaguered by solicitors. We don't often answer the door bell.
you are expected, however, you are treated like royalty, as we love
putting on the dog for family, friends, and occasional perfect strangers.
that ingrained, old-fashioned Hawaiian
Christmas, 2002, Up in
both detest phone soliciting, almost as much as SPAM on the
both dislike answering the phone, which is an ongoing major disruption
in our lives, and a source of contention and mutual irritation.
mail seems to have created a truce.
in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted.
Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world."
~ Hans Margolius
I am a wanderer.
I have called Hawai`i, Indiana, and California HOME during different times of my life.
One day, DH and I will split our time between the seashore of a Hawaiian island in the winter and the alpine
forests of California in the summer.
Moku Ola (Coconut
Island), Hilo, Hawai`i, 1998:
Saying goodbye to Dad...
I have a yen for traveling and seeing this good Earth. I inherited my wanderlust and
curiosity about the world from my grandparents and
Wanderlust and curiosity has taken me to Europe, Asia, North America, including
Mexico, Canada, and most of the states of the US. Italy and the Midwest feel like home to me. New
York excites me. My mother's wanderlust far surpasses my own.
She has traveled to almost every corner of the world, to
every continent except for Antartica.
Cruising is my preferred way of traveling.
traveler, but not exactly a white-knuckler, I am not fond
of flying in aircraft. The airport long lines and
security concerns since 9-11 haven't helped my
predilection to stay grounded.
Venice, Italy, 1994
I have yet to travel to Africa, Australia, Antartica and South America. Maybe I
will someday, but for the moment, I'm not in a
Head-over-heels in love with our two dogs, `Oli (means
"Joy" in Hawaiian; "O" for short) and
Noa (means "Freedom" in Hawaiian; "Freddy
B" is what we call him -- long story), I am loathe to leave them
for extended periods. Arm-chair traveling,
especially via the Internet, or jaunts to dog-friendly locales will suffice.
Wherever DH is, I am at home.
has struck again, and Florence, Lake Como and Tuscany are on my
go with all your heart.
I am descended from missionaries, warriors, spiritual healers,
heathen, farmers, and entrepreneurs.
My spiritual devotion has nothing to do with personal merit, but has
much to do with my ancestors' legacy. The spiritual genes
of a few have proved dominant.
been described as spiritual. I believe this is so. I prefer to
live my faith, not flaunt it.
I am areligious in the organized religion
I attended a non-denominational Christian boarding high school (Mid-Pacific
Institute, Mânoa Valley, Honolulu). My lack of
church-going in my childhood was more than compensated with mandatory chapel attendance twice a week, besides Sunday
As an adult, I have
never felt the need to denominate and I have felt welcome in every house of
worship I've visited. If a label is helpful, then call me "multi-denominational."
As the saying goes,
one is closest to God in
garden. I feel that closeness in our backyard, especially when hanging out there with the dog-kids. The Great Out-of-Doors is the "house" of
worship that I "attend" most regularly, and not just on
`Oli & Freddy,
the Sun for Pardon;
The Song of the Birds for Mirth
One is Nearer God's Heart in a Garden, Than Anywhere Else on Earth"
grateful that my parents left religion and spirituality up to me. In
matters of spirit, neither was inclined to mold, poke, push or
prod their brood. Neither force-fed beliefs and bounds, nor
brain-washed with rigid doctrine, I grew up with an open mind that
Basically, I was a
blank slate with an uncomplicated faith: "God is good. God is great. Let
us thank Him for our food. Amen."
are not human beings on a spiritual journey.
We are spiritual beings on a human journey."
~ Stephen Covey
I am Heaven's reject.
is ONE. ALL
~ Author Unknown
over 25 years ago. Back then, I shared 'It" with just a trusted few,
realizing that 'It' was a treasure that I could not keep just for
myself. Sharing 'It,' however clumsily, with my inner circle of
family and friends allowed its effects to go beyond me.
Listening with their hearts, as only loved ones can, they too derived
lasting and comforting effects from it, however vicariously. Some
found deep personal meaning in 'It," others, hope and
Heretofore, for various reasons, I have kept
'It' from the world at large.
The passing years have
made it obvious that 'It' was an ultimate gift. The time has
arrived to let go of any residual inhibition and share 'It' with others,
with you. Besides, I am drawn to
'peculiar' people or 'different ones', being one myself. And these
days, happy to be one. Perhaps you are as peculiar or as
different as me, which makes us very much alike as "birds of
confident in what is true for me, and caring less about what others
may think, these days, I find that I can now speak of 'It' with less
reticence. The potential scorn, disbelief and skepticism no
longer intimidate me. Nevertheless, I do so with no small amount of tentativeness.
It is that Hawaiian trait called hilahila (the Japanese
call it hazukashii, which is loosely translated
as shyness, reticence or bashfulness) peeking through.
Now in my crone years,
I wish to openly share my "heart story" as others
have so generously elsewhere.
Benjamin Franklin said: "Everything
appears to promise that it will last; but in this world nothing is
certain but death and taxes."
None of us escape our
destinies as mortal beings, including the most enlightened among
us, Christ included. It doesn’t matter if you are rich,
powerful, or influential; you will still die. There is no way to
escape death's grip, and death's door is something you pass through alone.
In recent years, those
facing their own "mortality"
or "near-mortality" have been placed smack-dab in my life's
path and I have willingly shared 'It' - or aspects of 'It' -- with
them. For some, 'It' has brought about spontaneous healing;
for others, timely and welcomed assurance,
direction and comfort.
More recently, since January
2003, two heart friends have come face-to-face with their
own mortality. A few months ago, I lost a hula sister and with
those she left behind, grieved her passing while facilitating a
graceful acceptance with intercessory prayer. Having dealt with these
life issues of late, I now find this to be an opportune time to begin to
"Pay It Forward."
doing something for somebody that they can’t do for
have to do that three times and the people you help each do
it three times, then it gets bigger. It goes from three to
nine to 27 and on and on and on.”
Graphic, courtesy of www.centralsingapore.org
And what is 'It' ?
my peek into Heaven. A glimpse of what is actually
Within, Without and All Around Us, if only we have eyes to
The Great Beyond need not be the Great
Unknown, and perhaps by openly sharing my experience, I may also share
with you the insights, wisdom and courage that I gained from 'It'. Be patient with me, as putting the ineffable into mere
words may be my biggest life's challenge. As I said earlier, this
narrative will necessarily go through countless revisions in order
to best convey 'It' to you in words. One of the advantages of writing Web pages is its
dynamism. I will clarify thoughts and add to this ever-evolving narrative as time
permits. Keep checking back...
If you are going
through a challenging time and looking for comfort, seeking relief
from the fear of the unknown, or simply looking for more meaning,
assurance and peace in your life, my experience may perhaps be of help
It is my hope that it will speak to the depths
of your spirit in ways that transcend differences in our spiritual
leanings and interpersonal orientations. This sharing may
help to deepen your commitment to live according
to your higher ideals. God willing, perhaps it may even open you up for your
own encounter with the Divine.
Anything is possible.
At age 24, I had what
some have called a 'mystical union,' while others have
described 'It" as a near-death
experience. I simply say: I had these glorious moments of grace --
Amazing Grace -- that said,
‘Look, here’s the Truth.’ For me, it was not an
out-of-body experience, but a deep-within experience. Without going into details: In a span
of moments, I peacefully died and
passed through the veil.
'It' happened spontaneously -- out of the blue
and in -- when I least expected it.
Note this Web site's blue
sky and silver lining
backgrounds. They are consciously chosen for their direct symbolism.
||Divine Providence or whatever you
wish to call that Higher Power -- God for short, if you wish, or the
Creator or Source -- was not done with
At the time, the words to
describe the experience eluded me. 'It' simply could
not be put into words. And now, it is no different, but I will
do my best. So here comes the disclaimer: this is a mere mortal's
inadequate account of using mere mortal words to describe the
"there" (terms for place and time do not apply), I was bathed and
God's unspeakably beautiful white light, best -- yet hardly
-- described as intensely scintillating,
glittering, sparkling, glimmering, all-encompassing and panoramic. For fleeting moments,
I was simultaneously showered with gentle yet powerful torrents of profound love,
unconditional acceptance, complete forgiveness and spiritual
I felt the Divine's warm embrace and
a sense of all-pervading
PEACE. I touched (or was touched by) the
face of God and filled with a peace beyond comprehension or description.
It has been a lasting peace: "A
peace that passes understanding.".
I was granted the Knowing that
everything happens with Perfect Timing, including birth, life, "death"
and our return
Home. The simplest, most succinct and clearest of the
messages was a two-fold message: All is ONE. ALL is well.
I was transformed in seconds by
The Light. That is when my
life began. My previous life -- and who I was before --
receded like a dream.
The call to my soul
came from Within, clear and distinct. I heeded it by sweetly and completely
surrendering not only my soul, but my heart, mind and
body. Soon I found myself returning reluctantly
back to Earth back to Hawai`i, after hurtling at breakneck speed through a bright,
colorful tunnel. Having tasted Heaven, I knew
doing so was one of the bravest actions I would ever take.
That brief encounter with the
Divine -- Westerners call it a Christ encounter; Easterners, samadhi -- has proved to be the most pivotal
moment/s in my life. It
has been said that "Belief is believing in God. Faith is
believing God believes in you." I was to return not as
a dejected student, but one brimming with that faith, enthusiasm,
and a sense of urgency to be of real
service to people.
You could say that I am Heaven's
reject. I was sent -- in the most loving way imaginable -- back to
Schoolroom Earth as a remedial student to complete my assignment.
Am Here to Serve
I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
I do not have to worry about what to say
or what to do, because He who
sent me will direct me.
I am content to be wherever He wishes,
knowing He goes there with me.
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.
A Course in Miracles, 24
'It' was life-changing. Immediately so. Although
it was not clear to me then what exactly had happened, my life
radical 180-degree flips and I was nudged onto an unexpected path.
Ever since, I know
without seeing. Ever since, I have been insulated against the
doubts and fears that previously prevented me from marshalling the best
efforts to be the best spiritual being I could be. Ever since, I
have possessed 'a cellular commitment to honesty.'
happened at a time when I was at the peak of my intellectual training in the
scientific method, i.e., "If you can't
see it, it doesn't exist." Formally trained and steeped in the
sciences, I fancied myself an agnostic. As a reader of Ayn Rand
books, I was open and even sympathetic to her thoughts on atheism.
That time of spiritual neglect and departure in faith proved to be
En route to a doctorate in
psychology before the experience, I switched
mid-stream into training for another profession, one that I had
aspired to as a teenager but had been summarily discouraged to
pursue by a high school counselor. I was told: "That's
a guy's job. How about teaching or nursing?" He flipped
through the yellow pages of the phone directory, and there was the
proof: only male names under the profession's heading. Back then, I
accepted his advice unquestioningly and instead took it to heart by seeking
an academic career.
|The Light Experience
happened when I was busily working as a high school counselor,
myself, (ironically) uplifting and encouraging young women to
pursue their dreams and stand on
It broke me free, liberating
me from the paralyzing influence of a well-meaning,
but misguided counselor
caught in the sexist mentality of the 1960s.
It empowered me to reach for
the stars and undertake the biggest challenges and risks of my
"We are the Stars
which sing. We sing with our light.
We are the birds of fire, We fly over the sky.
Our light is a voice, Our light is a voice,
We make a road, For the spirit to pass over..."
I heeded the call to serve
and help others see not only with physical eyes, but
with spiritual eyes. A call to help light the way.
Awakened, quickened, and emboldened, I embarked on a sojourn that required an additional eight years of intense and rigorous
study with all the confidence and clear-eyed courage of an
intrepid explorer. I began confidently walking my life's
as born. As meant to be.
I knew my Navigator
would not steer me wrong.
To almost everyone else except my inner circle, this change in
course was hardly sensible. To
me, it came as a natural unfolding, a natural chapter in the next
part of my time on Earth. Uplifted, human concerns -- money,
house, clothes, luxuries, material possessions -- became
independent from our families, that journey began when
my husband and I were self-supporting graduate students on
the stringiest of shoestring budgets. Hardly a shortcut, it
had its share of potholes, challenges, deprivations, highway
robberies, detours, leaps of faith, and times in the 'wilderness'.
Never abandoning me, however,
were three constants that kept me pointed in the right
direction: the Peace of my brief visit; an
unerring Guidance; and the Knowing that
every dark cloud has a silver lining.
We learned to live on very
little. Treading lightly on this Earth became second
nature. Every need -- some in the nick of time --
was provided for and every
door -- some stickier than others -- was opened.
The final leg of the journey was completed in 1983,
when I arrived at a practice that was waiting for me and to which I
was promptly guided after graduation and licensure. Three
months later, my predecessor turned his life's work -- a 50-year old
practice -- over to me. The Plan was impeccably timed and
orchestrated with every detail worked out.
I have been there ever since, serving
others. Just as I was guided to serve them, I know that they are
guided to me. It is my ministry. Ministry is defined
as "a person or thing through which something is accomplished."
That something is God's Will.
The profound love experienced those years ago has proved
contagious, touching and expanding every person I have met there. That
love has unfailingly promoted actual physical, mental and
emotional healing; it has also facilitated the graceful acceptance
of what is. Whenever the insights dim and the Peace
wavers, I head for the solitude of the mountains to "Be Still" and once
again, my course is righted.
I don't know why 'It' happened to me.
Perhaps because I am a seeker, and there is truth to "Seek,
and you will find." I have no lock on what is True. I am just
giving you a few pointers to help you find your way Home, if that
is what you are seeking. This I do know: I am no more special
than you. I believe, God willing and by conscious seeking -- by
looking Within where God dwells, you too will find what is True for you.
If you are on a spiritual path,
perhaps it is not at all a coincidence that you are here. We
two are companions
along the way.
are no mistakes, no coincidences.
All events are blessings given to us to learn from."
~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
am a classic case.
1. The person
knows he/she is dead.
2. Feelings of peace and painlessness, no longer feeling
3. An experience where the person floats above
the body and can retell events that he should not have been able
4. A tunnel experience, traveling rapidly through a vortex
-- like the worm hole in deep space -- often with light at the
end of the tunnel.
5. Seeing people of light, often relatives who have passed on or
6. Being greeted by a Higher Being.
7. Watching one's life for personal evaluation and growth.
8. Feeling a reluctance to return to Earth.
9. Having a personality transformation, usually positive, where
they no longer take what they love in their life for granted.
Some common aftereffects are "less concern for the material
world, a heightened sense of purpose in life, belief in God, joy
in life, increased compassion and, most important, intense
feelings of unconditional love...[as well as] increased psychic
abilities or the sudden development of healing
"There are no mistakes, no accidents, no "coincidences."
in 1972, I was one of six
renters who was fortunate enough to live in the only private home
on the Indiana University campus. Decades later, I learned that
Raymond Moody, Jr., who provided the groundbreaking, "non-esoteric"
work on the near-death experience was the son of the home's
owners, Dr. Raymond Moody, Sr. and his vivacious and flamboyant wife. The room with the
"Cowboys and Indians" wall paper was Raymond Moody,
Jr.'s childhood bedroom!
1982 the Gallup polling organization discovered that eight
million adult Americans have had near death experiences. This is
about one person in twenty, which a very large number that
cannot be ignored or brushed off lightly.
recently, in 1997 the U.S. News & World Report survey found
that over 15 Million Adult Americans have claimed to have had an
Such experiences have become
don't have a soul. You are a Soul.
You have a body."
~ C.S. Lewis
6/2003: I am a
Not wishing to have
that fleeting connection fade or be taken for granted, I choose to live a life of
is something that I enforce strict personal discipline
upon myself. I was
given a second chance and I don't take any of it at all for
My work lies before me and I know
full well from where my Help comes. Without the Divine, I am
nothing. And so I seek sanctuary daily, devoting an hour a day
with my full attention on the Living God.
My reveille is the clarion call:
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God". I do most of my
inner work by praying in the morning upon awakening. I
reconnect in the late evening.
|I pray like a child:
on my knees, head bowed, elbows resting on the bedside, hands
Often I pray, snug in bed,
where I often drift off to
sleep, mid-prayer. Mostly, I pray alone; occasionally with DH,
believing in the power of "where two or more are
gathered, I am in the midst of you..."
This time around, I aspire to an unhurried
life with time to slow down, reflect and listen. Time spent with God is a
priority. I intend to win my battle with my
archenemy which is:
appeal of 'having it all and doing it all' diminished
years ago, yet there are times that I still struggle to
overcome the Martha
In a New Testament Biblical
character, I found a teacher. Her name is Martha.
I learned of her within a week of my Light Experience when I
was led to the book,
COMPANIONS ALONG THE WAY.
loved Jesus not only as the Christed One, but like a brother. As a
buddy of her brother Lazarus, Jesus was
as much a brother to her as her own. Her pressing duties and
'shouldisms' kept her in the 'much serving' mode.
Slaving away in the kitchen, Martha (Type A) did not realize that her
overdeveloped sense of responsibility was keeping her from spending quality time with Jesus, especially
at a time when his time on Earth was quickly dwindling.
For Mary (Type B) who
was Martha's baby sister, time spent with Jesus took precedence over
work. Mary had her priorities straight, and Jesus concurred. Time alone with the Father was a
top priority for Jesus, just as time alone with Jesus was for
Martha," said Jesus. "You're fussing far too much and
getting yourself worked up over nothing." In
effect He was asking Martha, are you ever going to "...be
still and know that I am God...." (Psalm 46:10).
one thing is essential, and Mary has chosen it--it's the main
course, and won't be taken from her," said He, meaning what Mary
did. She sat at His feet and pondered His Word. Doing so
made her sensitive to the things of the Spirit.
And thus, Martha's
life is my lesson. Making lemonade out of lemons, I have
learned from Martha's life and her failure to prioritize. I intend
to be a better student this time around. Having learned from
Martha's life, I make the time to have my holy interludes with
both Father and Son, undistracted. Seeking
spiritual intimacy is a top priority for me this time
getting up a daybreak as Jesus did to meet his Father, well, I find
that easier said
than done. I am a work in progress, still working on that Martha
My prayers are rarely
long-winded, hardly ever formal. Shall I be completely honest with
you? My prayers can be
as simple and sweet as a kiss blown heavenward. Often as informal as
talking conversationally with a friend. And occasionally as short as the
whisper of a one-word mantra: Maranatha!
Most often, my prayer
is simply an exuberant "Mahalo e Ke Akua! (Thank You, God!)"
These days, I do not pray
for earthly things. I have been given more than I ever
expected and now I have waaaaay too much "stuff." I
pray for heavenly things. I pray intercessionarily (is
there such a word?). I pray for guidance, wisdom,
patience, acceptance, understanding, and a closer walk
with the Creator. And
once in awhile, I ask for help, but only after I've done my part to
help the matter. Mostly,
these days, I find myself praying with gratitude. And yes, I pray for forgiveness. My human
imperfections demand it.
Courtesy, Danny Halborn, 1999
pray in private; my body is my prayer room. Most often in the bath
tub. And often in front of the computer screen. God finds me
without fail, and I have had my best conversations with Him in this
portable temple called the human body.
"Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them,"
admonished Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. "And when you pray, you must
not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at
the street corners, that they may be seen by men ...
When you pray, go into your
room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your
who sees in secret will reward you."
And no, while I may
closely listen, I don't hear voices. Just inner
promptings. To "hear" them, I've learned to "Be Still
and Know..." I am merely a student who has submitted to
conscientious study in this "foreign" place. This
Schoolroom Earth. Next time, God willing, I will earn a full graduation back
into the Heavenly Realm, which is truly Home.
are my favorite prayers.
believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone,
best for both the body and the mind."
~ Albert Einstein
5/2003: I am
understand what the ancients mean when they say: "We are One,"
although we may each
have different missions and paths.
I know that I am no better
than the lowliest and no less than the loftiest of us here. I do not proselytize to others.
What's my business
and faith are my own to deal with, as your business and faith are
yours to do the same.
am, however, a proselytizer to myself, as spirituality
requires, at least for me, ongoing and constant upkeep. I have a
high-maintenance personal relationship with Jesus,
who is my primary role model, compassionate friend and trustworthy Big
Brother who knows me completely. He is my refuge when I
am feeling "poor in heart."
| I also consider The Buddha, The Dalai Lama, The
Saints (especially St.
Michael whose day, Michaelmas, is my birthday, September
29), and other
spiritual luminaries as
wiser and older than me, who like Jesus, are much further along the path,
waiting for the rest of us to catch up.
Because of this ecumenical mindset, I
strive to respect the faith of others, feel a
kinship with all people, and look for reflections of God's face in
|| I aspire to be like Mother Teresa, who regarded everyone as her
brother or sister. I'm assiduously working on this kind of
equanimity and tolerance. I've had been provided many teachers who have
come into my life
to teach me my remaining lessons.
on Mother Teresa...
| I am inspired by Terry
Anderson, the Associated Press chief correspondent, who was
held hostage for 2,454 days -- tormented and tortured for almost seven years --
When asked if he hated his abductors, Terry said his faith sustained
him through his ordeal and his faith requires him to forgive
them. He walks the talk.
I have gleaned much
wisdom from his tenacity, courage, faith, and yes, his trials and
tribulations. >> Listen
to Terry Anderson's reading of "Wait for Me"...
The longer I live this
life, the more I am humbled. Life is beautifully awesome and filled
with the discovery of Amazing Grace. My
teachers are everywhere, around every corner, every day!
who go to Earth are heroes and heroines,
because you are doing something that no other
spiritual beings have the courage to do.
You have gone to Earth to co-create with God.
are the difference that God makes"
And that difference is love."
~ Dannion Brinkley
I am a lover of
I have a longing for Peace.
I shrink from violence, contention, and tensions. I avoid violent
movies or TV shows. I rarely watch the six o' clock bad news. Before
I turn in, I do not allow the infiltration of the negativity of the late-night
news into my psyche.
I realize that
fulfilling my mission on Earth requires a commitment to peace, to
love. Knowing that Peace begins with me, just
as the song says, I proactively choose peace over gossip, anger, frustration,
getting even, being right or holding a grudge. I prefer to
excuse myself from situations that embarrass, demean, or diminish
there be peace on Earth
And let it begin with me."
in its myriad forms is a portal that leads to a world of peace,
happiness and ecstasy. The more we are able to love ourselves and
others, the more others can love us. The more we are loved, the
easier it is for us to love others." ~Brent N. Hunter
6/2003: I am an examiner.
A while ago, I did a bit of
self-examining by taking an online test (ANSIR) that exposed me to me, and now I expose me to anyone who
wishes to read up on the REAL me: HEALER / HEALER / PHILOSOPHER. Every line rang eerily true.
The profile descriptions are increasingly accurate.
- Avid readers, they
prefer non-fiction and biographies to fiction.
- They are keenly sensitive to noise and uncomfortable in messy
- They have a need for privacy.
- Their personal and professional ethics supersede those of
man and land.
- For them there are no coincidences in life. Everything
happens for a reason.
- When they solve problems, they look at its effect and impact on
the system as a whole.
- They have a natural talent for any field or endeavour where
healing is involved.
- Generally choose
highly-specialized fields and contract out services.
- Philosophers have an uncanny ability for being on-the-spot
when leading edges are sharpened or discoveries unveiled.
- Characteristically, they suffer an allergy to authority and
uniforms, regardless of cut, color or cloth. Asking tough questions,
such as “why?” and “why not?” reduces their chances of
- Philosophers tend to be the most intelligent, most hard working,
and most likely to refute or refuse any policy not in sync with
- Wealth or material gain does not motivate them; affording
- Philosophers demand autonomy. They tend to captain their own
ships and are renowned workaholics. They may only do what they like,
but they like doing it a lot, apparently.
If you're not afraid of learning exactly who you are, consider taking the ANSIR test yourself.
The word healing has
different connotations depending on who is talking. To medical
professionals it seems to be that when one is diseased
there are a number of symptoms of that disease. And when the
symptoms have stopped then one is healed. To other sorts of
practitioners there is instead seen to be a journey to wholeness.
That the natural and true state of being is complete wholeness
with the fullness of who you truly are.
is the return to more wholeness.
The unexamined life is not worth
6/2003: I am
a lover of
have a passion
for purple, loving it since childhood. My
favorite soda? Grape Soda.
My favorite crayons? Royal
purple, violet, vivid violet, lavender, and wisteria.
My favorite vegetable? Eggplant.
Beauty is in
the eye of the beholder. I love this bear in
purple. And these just tickle me, although I'm more than content to see them
on some one else's hands.
The Warning by
Jenny Joseph is my future:
6/2003: I am a
My dancing talent is
mediocre; my dancing skills, superficial. I am one of those
poor souls who is "rhythmically challenged." I shall never
be affectionately nicknamed "Twinkle Toes." "Hemahema"
(Clumsy) is more apt. My love, nonetheless,
for dancing runs deep.
I owe that love to my father who
infused me with his passion for dancing. As far back as I can remember, I've
ballroom danced, first on my father's feet, then as his dance
partner. The Tennessee
Waltz by Patti Page was our favorite dance tune. Whenever I
hear it, I see us dancing in our parlor. The song
always goes straight to my heart and my face gets leaky.
"Just as he was a
passionate reader, how Dad loved to dance. One of my fondest
childhood memories is is standing on his feet, as he taught me to
...After our trip, Dad
kept dancing as long as he could. Whenever I'd fly home,
he'd greet me with a huge smile and a dance. As his body
declined, he danced with a cane, then with a walker, then with our
hands, then with our eyes, and finally, we danced in our minds'
Letter to Oprah, Tuesdays with Morrie
Speaking of fathers,
here's a timely prayer for Luther
Vandross in the form of his 2003 bittersweet song, Dance
with My Father:
carry me, and I knew for sure that I was loved. If I could get
another chance, another walk, another dance with him. I'd
play a song that would never, never end..."
||I was six when I
took my first hula lessons, and I've written my favorite
reminiscence of that time here.
I danced -- hula and modern -- my way through the years that
followed until I went off to college.
Over the years, DH and I have
taken ballroom dance classes here, there and everywhere.
It is our favorite thing to do when we are cruising. Every
at-sea day found us on the dance floor. We have waltzed past
the white cliffs of Dover, cha-cha'd through the Straits of
Gibraltar, fox-trotted around the boot of Italy, and pitched
and rolled in the French waters called the Bay of Biscay.
It was not until I
became an official senior
citizen at age 50, when I resumed my hula dancing. These
days, I surround myself with friends who share my joy in
dancing. We call ourselves: The Hula Maidens.
The Hula Maidens:
Seated L-R: AU and Gylene
Standing: Jeanette, Beulah, Flo and Hedy
with the dance!
Let joy be unconfined.
6/2003: I am a lover
of Hawaiian music.
Writing about the power
of Hawaiian words here,
I find the meanings of Hawaiian lyrics provocative and
As for favorites, I am
caught between three lovers that caress my ears with their beauty
and spirit: the music of DH's band, Keali`i
The Hawaiian Band:
L-R: Mike, Hank, Pete, Larry, Harry, DH, and Pas
I wrote this book, the singular and beautiful music of the late
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole was always playing. I hope that the reader
finds pleasure in my story equal to the joy and consolation that I
found in the voice, the spirit, and the heart of Israel
The Corner Of His Eye"
Updated 6/2003: I am a writer.
A writer is one
who writes. I write, therefore I am a
There, I said it. It took the better
part of my lifetime to admit and accept who I am. My childhood wish
of "Maybe one day,
Unknown, I'll be a writer
too." It was a
prescient thought after all.
I write? It certainly is
not for lack of anything else to do.
My life is ridiculously overcomitted. Financial compensation or
making literary splashes command little attention or prestige for
me. My motives for writing are not rational but intuitive and
emotional. I write because I want -- and indeed need -- to do
it, as I
find that I am happiest and invigorated when I write -- unrushed,
unpressured and uncensored -- for fun, self-exploration,
-expression and clarity.
Until recently, I
indulged my penchant for writing with journal articles on
professional topics that caught my fancy. Pretty dry stuff, but of
genuine interest to me and just a few. I am presently writing
a book about my profession. I have much to say about it and I
have found my voice: sotto voce.
Loving to read letters as well as writing
them, I particularly enjoy keeping a loose, undemanding
correspondence via e-mail or the US Postal Service with those few --
and dear -- to me.
||As a child,
writing poetry appealed to me, allowing me to experience the
words not intellectually but physically, emotionally, and
As an adult, I continue to
write poetry, but it is mainly a solitary, personal
endeavor. I often take a single poem through a hundred
drafts over several years. Sounds like work?
Yes. Worth the time and effort? Yes. Robert
Frost once called poetry the highest kind of enterprise,
"the self-appointed task," where "hard labor
comes from one’s own desire and internal pressure for
most of my life, I have been a studious note-taker,
documenting my life with hurriedly jotted dribs and drabs,
often on scraps of paper .
My personal writing has evolved
into more orderly handwritten journals, these days, more in
the free flow tradition of The
My writing is
increasingly focused on inner psychological reality, as well as the preservation
of memories of loved ones, small town living, family and
Sometimes, when I manage to
break through my "privacy cocoon," I add entries to
this erratic online journal just as I am now. The blank screen
of my Sony Vaio laptop invites me to fill it with
streaming thoughts and the 'Net is big enough to hold it all. This
form of writing invites new subjects and I find myself writing about
experiences that I had never written about before.
I love it that I am Author
Unknown. Besides its sentimental value to me, this pen name
provides a welcome sense of anonymity, making all of this endeavor less weird
and paradoxical. Ultimately, it allows me to keep this
"diary of a soul." For certain, this journal is
one of those workings in mysterious ways...
2003: I love to create Web sites that recognize and
acknowledge "Earth angels." A recent site was inspired by
our visit to a "secret" garden, off the beaten track: The
Daffodil Garden. Even more recently, a visit to a Maui
Lavender garden inspired yet another Web site creation.
Through the written word and the
electronic medium, I will make the time to volunteer my time,
energy, and support those who are creating goodness on Earth,
fellow companions along the way.
is my refuge. It's where I go.
It's where I find that integrity I have."
~ Charles B. Johnson
As I string these last words together, I am most appreciative of my namesake, Author Unknown..
Today, on this
peaceful September morn, I join the collective group of Authors
Unknown. To anyone who might be interested, I intend to share
the greatest gift that I've ever been given. A life.
On my way Home, I
share this gift with you, a fellow Earth student, before I pass into the other dimension. But
only if you wish to partake. I have an overweening and insatiable need to be of
service -- to be a help and not a hindrance. It is my hope that you
will find something here that will help you.
I'm doing my best to be a good
scout in this wilderness called life, making each place I inhabit or visit a better
or cleaner place. Yes, even public bathrooms.
I hope the Web is a better place with these
thoughts that are now lovingly placed here in front of your eyes.
Life is like a voyage that is homeward bound.
May your life be
filled with gifts,
remembering that the best ones are those shared
P.S. If you would
like to share a portion of yourself with words, in response to
this journal entry, you may do it here.
only gift is a portion of thyself."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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