Author's Note: These are my thoughts and my opinions. No one's forcing you to read my page. My page, meaning it's mine and I can write whatever the hell I want. So if you don't like what I write and think it's stupid then go away and read something written by a Pulitzer Prize winner. I am just saying what's on my mind. That's all this page is. It's not anything more than that. Thanks.
December 16th 2002
Okay so there is no transit strike yet. Thank goodness! We’ll see what happens.
So I am close to moving into Manhattan…I have a wedding this coming Saturday otherwise I would have been able to move in that day.
My dad wants to work on the place this week. If the strike never happens he will be able to.
I am so excited. Especially because I am going out on Friday and now I have a place to stay in the city if I want to stay out late and I don’t want to spend $40 on a cab.
My friend suggested that once I am all settled in that I should have a dinner party. Yeah right. Me cook for people? Ha!
I’m sure I could but do I want to clean all of those dishes?! Hell no!
I was watching the Giants actually play a good football game yesterday and I kept seeing the commercials for that Joe Millionaire show on Fox. I have to say, I don’t watch a lot of “reality” television but that show looks funny! 50 women thinking they are being set up with a millionaire and he’s really only making $19,000 a year! HAHAHAHAHA! That’s awesome. I would pay to watch that show. Stupid asses.
Women. They can so stupid sometimes.
And I would never choose money over looks by the way. The guy looks like he has Soul Glo in his hair. (Coming to America reference)
I am so excited for the “I love the 80’s” special on VH1 this week. Tonight is 1980 and 1981. Rick Springfield will definitely be talking about in the 1981 hour. Yay! I can’t wait for 1983 and 1984. Duran Duran baby!!!
I really have to start my Christmas shopping. Yes I said start.
I am broke still. Well sort of.
I am a lot better off then I was last week.
I have to be able to pay for my Yankee tickets or I’ll just die…
The doggy was sleeping with me for a little bit last night. She’s so cute. I am going to miss her when I move out.
I really don’t want to be here this week…at all. I want to be able to move out of my old apartment and into my new one but I have no days left at all.
Boo! Hiss!
I watched two repeats of Sex and the City last night. One where Carrie panics and tells Aidan that she can’t marry him and the break up and the one where she has to get money to buy her apartment or be evicted. I love when she realizes that she spent $40,000 on shoes. I am nowhere near that in hand bags by the way. And I have not purchased a new bag since the beginning of August.
Anywho, Carrie pissed me off. I would kill for a guy like Aidan. Yes he had his annoying habits but he was tall, and tall and really tall. What the fuck?!?
I wonder if there are any Aidans walking around New York City in real life.
I need to find a nail file.
Oh a news bulletin: Jennifer Lopez no longer wants to be called J. Lo. Jennifer or Jenny suits her just fine. Ok? So when you see her walking down the street with Ben call her Jennifer.
I am really looking forward to “Chicago”. Moulin Rogue got me back into musicals.
The Red Sox got a Giambi?! HAHAHAHA! And what the fuck were the Yankees thinking when they didn’t get Mike Stanton back?! Idiots. That will come back to bite them in the ass.
Okay it’s almost time for work again.
Ick.
StaceDecember 13th 2002
Happy Friday the Thirteenth. Oooo! Creepy! Not…
My roommate wanted me to go to the NBC Kid’s Christmas Party tomorrow with her and her niece but there will be people there that I can’t handle seeing so I am not going. For my own sanity it’s best if I sleep in tomorrow.
Okay so we are getting down to the wire with this looming transit strike. It will seriously blow if it happens. If it was summer I’d say fuck it and walk everywhere but it’s December. Knowing our luck an artic cold front will sweep in Sunday night and the temperatures will plummet into the teens with below zero wind chills.
I got my eyebrows waxed today and they look really good. She did a good job. We arranged for her to do my nails next week. I need them done badly.
I didn’t have enough time to do them today.
So we are doing a Kris Kringle and I got my old cubemate. I am excited I got someone I like. I hope someone good got me. I am not hard to buy for. At all. Get me something Yankee related and I will be thrilled. See? Easy.
Speaking of easy…I watched the Big Easy last night for the first time ever. Yes I realize it’s fifteen years old but regardless. Dennis Quaid is sex on a stick in that movie. Dear lord…between his accent and the sex scenes. Yikes.
I still hate sirens. They still scare me.
I want to chop my nose off! I have been sick since Wednesday and I can’t breathe, I am constantly sneezing…Ick.
I know what I am getting my brother for Christmas. I know what I am getting my mother for Christmas. I am not sure about dad but he’s a sweater, book or anything golf related guy. I have to get something for my roommate. I have to get something for my friend Melissa and her husband Matt. They just closed on a house and I am getting them something home related. I have to get something for my friend Julie. Hmmmm who else? My cousins Chris and Jeanann; my Aunt Mary, my Uncle Kevin…Man I hate being broke for the holidays.
Time to get to work…since I haven’t done anything yet and it’s 1:34PM.
StaceDecember 11th 2002
I hate people today. I am sick and I am PMSing. I caught a cold from the 8 people in the office who had been sick the past couple of weeks. So I am pissed off about that because I hate being sick when I have no sick days left.
I hate people because they are inconsiderate and rude.
I like one person today. I told him I was sick and he gave me some Theraflu so I’d feel better. Wasn’t that sweet of him? Of course I am not feeling better. I feel like ass. But it was worth a try.
Everyone else can kiss my ass. Especially the higher ups.
I don’t like how my coworkers and I are constantly ignored by these assholes. The only time we exist is when they want to have a meeting to bitch us out. Well, fuck them. If they have a meeting like that I will speak my mind this time. I am sick of sitting back and being abused by these people.
And could this day go any slower?!?!?!?! GOD!
If this transit strike happens we are all fucked. Seriously. On Monday I am going to have to walk 2 miles to get the ferry in Staten Island and then 5 miles uptown to get to work. Forget going to the gym.
If it’s not cold it’s not a big deal. I can walk seven miles! And then I’ll just sleep all week in the office. Heh.
Dear lord. What a terrible time for a transit strike. The last time people were stuck walking like that was on 9/11.
I don’t remember the 1980 strike because I was in kindergarten at the time but I am sure it was horrible.
Okay I think I am getting a fever. Yikes.
StaceDecember 6th 2002
Aw man I am hurting today. I didn’t drink much at the holiday party but I danced a lot and my back is killing me.
The best thing about work holiday parties is that you see people who are normally tightasses loosen up. It’s always the most uptight people who end up dirty dancing with the President of the Division. Heh.
It was a lot of fun. I got home at 2:3o this morning and got into work at 10. Heh. And I wasn’t the only one who was late this morning. Most people were.
Okay I just called my grandma…and she is depressed. It’s depressing because when she first went into the nursing home she was ok but now she doesn’t do anything. She lies in bed, she doesn’t turn the TV on and she just does nothing. It’s sad. I thought the news of me being in the Christmas commercial again this year would cheer her up but it didn’t.
We shot the commercial in the snow. I was freezing! But it was still cool because I stood next to the morning sports guy and he was really nice! And very funny. We were cracking each other up. I emailed him to thank him for entertaining me yesterday morning and he wrote back and told me I should stop by to see him! Cool huh?
I like when TV people don’t take themselves too seriously. During one take we both were laughing so hard that we couldn’t sing the song. God I hope they don’t keep that take. I was actually crying because I was laughing so hard. He was great.
Seriously though, it was really cold. And for some reason every time we did an actual take the damn snow would be blowing in our faces. When they were changing the film or getting cameras ready for a different angle the snow wouldn’t blow.
Al Roker was down there with us. He was funny. And one of the TV doctors said something to the sports guy that I didn’t need to hear. I’ll never be able to look at him the same again.
My back is killing me from all of the dancing I did last night. I was dirty dancing with people! I never do that! I am usually never relaxed enough to do that. Even when I’m drunk I am slightly uptight. But I guess since the person everyone would assume I’m sleeping with wasn’t there last night it was ok for me to be all over everyone else. Does that make any sense? Didn’t think so.
I am continuing to get good feedback on my story. I am very excited. And I found out that I may have an in at a publishing house and that he may want represent me. Woo hoo!
Yeehaw!
It’s all about who you know people!
My boss got in at 10 this morning! She’s never late! And I am pissed because I left a message saying I was going to be late and didn’t know that she wasn’t here yet. Damn it.
Oh Jesus one of the guys at work sent a link to his website where he uploaded pictures from the Christmas party. I had no idea that picture was being taken.
I was drunk and I was in the middle of moving my arm down while I was dancing. Thank God they didn’t take any pictures of me when I was bent over dancing in front of my friend Adam. Now that would have been humiliating. Hee.
One good thing about the picture...no double chin!!! You can tell I lost some weight. Yeehaw!
Okay it’s 2:37 I think I should start working, don’t you?
StaceDecember 3rd 2002
Jesus my worst nightmare…Now Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey dominate the entertainment news shows.
Last night Access Hollywood’s lead story was about Las Vegas and which stars were there for the Thanksgiving holiday. And who were the most important people??? You guessed it…J.Lo and Ben because apparently no one else in Hollywood matters these days. The big news was that they had to close down a Gianni Versace store for them so they could get $20,000 leather jackets. Oh wait I don’t know if each jacket was that much but that’s the amount they reportedly spent.
And Mariah Carey is releasing a new album today. God I missed her so. I’d take her over J.Lo any day. At least Mariah can actually sing when she’s not whispering her lyrics.
Could it be any colder out today? I mean really. I thought I was going to freeze to death this morning waiting for the bus. I did a good job of bundling myself up but I was still cold.
I want to go someplace warm.
I want to lie on a beach and relax.
Maybe I’ll do a little 4-day weekend in February or something.
I really don’t want to go outside later. I am going to the gym immediately after work and then I am going home.
My fiction class ends this week. I am a little sad about that but I am going to sign up for the second part of it next month. I have something to look forward to.
Yay!
I got so many story ideas this weekend just from hanging out every night. I need to go out more so I’ll be inspired to write.
I have to cut my nails I am beginning to resemble the woman from the Chinagirl video. Ick.
Man it is cold in here today. This building is ridiculous.
It’s 30 degrees out not 90. Yikes.
I need hot chocolate.
StaceDecember 1st 2002
What a weekend! I went out every night (except Thanksgiving night because I passed out at 10:15). I saw people I haven’t seen since high school. It was fun.
Well, last night wasn’t that much fun.
There are a lot of reasons why last night wasn’t good. I think my friends and I would have been better off just staying in.
Wednesday and Friday were good nights. Wednesday was good because the night before Thanksgiving is always good. You always see people you haven’t seen in a long time and it’s just fun. Although Wednesday night was true confession night. I was talking with a guy I used to hook up with three years ago and he confessed that I was his on the side girl and that he was actually going out with someone who I thought he was just fucking on the side at the time. I laughed, he laughed and everything was fine. But I am beginning to think that I am destined to be an “on the side” girl. Ugh.
Friday night I went out with my friend Dan, my three best friends and a couple of other people. We walked into a bar and my friend Melissa and I went over to this guy we’ve known since elementary school. He and Melissa were comparing wedding bands and then I made my way to him and said hello and he points at his wedding band and says, “This could have been you.” Huh? What a jackass. We had a weird history. He was my elementary school love (if there is such a thing) and his parents and my parents would always joke about who would host which holidays. Whatever. We never went out, we never were an item but there was always something between us. I called him an ass and walked away from him. When we got far enough away Melissa turned to me and was like, “Did he just say what I think he said?” I nodded and she was like, “Okay freak.” Well, he spent the whole night staring at me and trying to make eye contact with me. I was avoiding him. What the hell?? I don’t understand. My friends were joking about the fact that another married man was after me. I think this makes it 5. I am destined to be an on the side girl!!
It’s annoying.
I need to meet new people.
HAHAHAHA The Giants lost!! HAHAHAHA they suck!
Old Navy commercials are so stupid. And how many face lifts do you think Morgan Fairchild has had?
I don‘t want to go to work tomorrow. I am not in the mood to be there. Especially with all of the changes that will be happening. Lord help us.
I am looking forward to the party on Thursday night though. I hope it’s fun. It should be. No, it will be.
IT WILL BE!!!
Ooo the Saved by the Bell True Hollywood Story is on tonight. I hope I can watch it.
Okay I am getting sick of seeing Jennifer Lopez everywhere. She’s on billboards, buses, she’s on Access Hollywood and Entertainment tonight every fucking night, the commercial for her movie is on every five fucking seconds…It’s overkill. Oh yeah and her song is on all the time.
And is it just me or does Ben Affleck look like he’s balding? Heh.
Sexiest Man Alive my ass…
The Brat Pack True Hollywood story is on.
Aw I loved Andrew McCarthy.
I’ve had that Irish guy thing my entire life.
And Rob Lowe was sex on a stick. Dear lord.
He was so pretty
Forget the THS. A CHRISTMAS STORY IS ON!!!!! I love this movie!
StaceNovember 26th 2002
So I have been 28 for three months. And it certainly has been interesting. I have 9 months left. A pregnancy…let’s hope the rest of this year (until August 25th 2003) is better than the first 3 months have been.
Today the cat is out of the bag; they are going to be discussing the future of our division. The assistants aren’t invited to the 3:00 meeting. We just make sure the place runs, we don’t count.
Assholes.
It’s cold out today. And it’s supposed to snow tomorrow! Yay! I am wearing jeans to work. I don’t care. If it’s snowy and slushy and gross out I am wearing regular clothes. If they have a problem, they can kiss my ass.
Ow. My sinuses hurt.
Right now I am listening to Donna Summer orgasm during “Love to Love You Baby”. Wow what a risqué song. It came out in 1975/1976, right? I was really young when I was moaning along to this song, Heh.
It is so cold in here today. Why on earth do they have the air on? It’s only 45 outside.
My hair is annoying me today. It’s just not sitting right.
Oh! I thought I had an appointment early this morning and it’s tomorrow. Der.
The mystery is over…we got the invite to the Christmas Party. It’s December 5th at Metronome. I don’t know what the big deal was.
I knew that a month ago.
Okay this is getting ridiculous. My sinuses are really killing me.
I need some Sudafed.
Why are my coworkers laughing? Nothing’s funny around here. Everything is going to turn to shit this afternoon.
Oy vey.
StaceNovember 25th 2002
One of my coworkers came back from traveling for the company for 5 months. In a way I am envious that she got to do that but on the other hand I don’t know if I’d want to have to travel that much. Living out of a suitcase, eating out every night, being alone all the time…I know myself. I’d become a fat pig if I was eating out all the time and doing nothing.
I am tired today. I don’t know why. I think I slept enough this weekend.
My flowers are still alive! I bought them last Tuesday and they are fine. I haven’t even changed the water.
They say when someone buys you flowers and they last it means that person loves you a lot. So I guess I love myself a lot.
At least somebody does…Okay well my parents do. It’s not like nobody loves me.
Oh boy where did that come from?
Oh I know! I have to sit through Thanksgiving with my cousin and his soon to be fiancée. God Help me. I am always single around the holidays. It sucks.
I am going to be an old spinster with 15 cats…I can see it clearly.
Aw man…I hate when I get in these moods.
I have Wednesday night to look forward to. My friends and I are going out for dinner and then going out to drink. I feel like eating a big meal and getting shit faced. Weeeeeeee! Tequila!
Maybe I’ll be lucky and hook up with a 21-year-old boy. I need to make out with someone. I need someone to make me feel attractive for just one night.
I want someone who’s taller than me. I want to have to get up on my toes to kiss him.
I love the night before Thanksgiving. Everyone’s out that night and you see people you haven’t seen since the previous night before Thanksgiving.
And then I’ll wake up to the smell of food being made by my mother. Yay!
Okay the mood is improving.
I have the Christmas party to look forward to next week. I can get drunk there too! Yay! Although there won’t be anyone to make out with…not that I’d want to make out with anyone from work. I don’t need any more rumors popping up. Oh wait…maybe I do.
Just kidding.
“Hey did you see Stacey and so and so making out? I guess she’s not fucking that one anymore.”
Whatever.
I’m so glad I have a sense of humor.
It’s funny how much I hate seeing babies when I have my period. Yesterday I almost threw something at the TV while I was watching Trading Spaces because they kept showing a commercial for a marathon of “A baby story” that they are airing on Thanksgiving. Like I want to see that shit? I’m emotional enough.
Fucking babies!!!
Sorry.
I’ll be fine by Wednesday and I’ll be like giggling idiot when I stumble upon the marathon on Thursday.
I think my real problem is that everyone seems to be getting pregnant around me and I can’t even find a guy. I am fearful that I won’t ever find one and I’ll be alone forever. Jesus. Why do I do this to myself?
Okay the glass is half full. I will find a guy. I will be living in Manhattan and I will be going out a lot more and meeting new people. Who knows I may meet the love of my life tomorrow. Right? It could happen.
I will meet my soul mate, we will fall in love, we will get married, and we will have 2.5 kids and have a house in the suburbs. Maybe we’ll have a dog or a cat. He will like the Yankees and not mind that my children’s name will all have something Yankee related in them. Like Mattingly, Jeter and Winfield. He will be taller than me and all of our kids will be relatively tall. All of our children will have my sense of humor and my musical ear. Hopefully my soul mate will be good looking so the kids will look like him. They won’t have my eye problems. They will apply themselves in school and be good students. They will be happy in their lives and have lots of children so I can be a doting grandmother and spoil my grandchildren….Or you know I’ll end up the spinster with 15 cats.
Heh.
They say you meet someone when you least expect it. I am not expecting it anytime soon God, hint hint.
Shania Twain is playing in the plaza tomorrow morning and I am going to miss her. Damn it. I have an appointment.
I found a couple of CDs last night that I used to listen to religiously like 9 years ago. They were from two bands that never made it big. From my club going days when I’d follow bands around and hung out with them.
Aw I want to be 19 again.
Just for the fun of it. Going out all the time. Staying out until 6am and getting home right when my dad was getting up for work. I can’t do that anymore.
Damn it I am depressing myself again. I miss those days.
I miss that group of friends. I don’t really talk to any of them anymore.
I have to go downstairs and buy a shirt. I don’t like the one I am wearing right now. I have a $50 gift card from J Crew that I have to use.
I must go and do that now.
StaceNovember 22nd 2002
I have to start packing this weekend. I want to move into my grandma's apartment as soon as I can. I need to live in Manhattan.
Aw man I shouldn't have had Ranch 1 today for lunch. It's killing me already.
Our Christmas party is December 5th but they still won't tell us where it's being held.
Have you ever had an evil thought about a certain situation and when you realize how evil the thought is you get so upset that you want to cry because you can't believe you actually are capable of thinking such a horrible thing? That just happened to me right now. Wow. I didn't know I could feel like that.
How scary.
StaceNovember 21st 2002
I forgot that today is the Great American Smoke out mainly because everyone and their mother are smoking outside right now. Heh.
Wow if yesterday hadn’t turned out as well as it did I would have a lot to bitch about today.
I’ll recap so you have an idea of what the past few days have been like.
Tuesday I had a bad afternoon because my coworker who has taken the role of the annoying older brother I never had decided to tell me how the team I was formerly a member of was going on field trip next month. One of the stations as a thank you was going to be sending the account managers and assistants down to Philadelphia for dinner, a Sixers game and a stay in a hotel overnight. Well, I worked on that team most of this year and for all of 2001. So I was pissed off about that. And he was rubbing it in that the Providence station was taking them all out this week for dinner as thank you. So I was in a REALLY bad mood Tuesday night on the way home. My commute just sucked and I couldn’t wait to go home. I was tired and cranky and just wanted to sleep. I get on the bus in Staten Island and there are no seats. No big deal because I caught the express bus and my stop is the first stop. Okay fine. I can deal with that. Well, for some reason the bus drivers who work the MTA in New York City all decided to drive like dickheads when the buses are packed with people who are stuck standing. This jackass bus driver slams on his brakes and the girl standing behind me didn’t have a good grip on the pole came flying into me and her weight and my weight pulled my right arm nearly out of it’s socket. (I was holding one of the hanging handles) Fucking idiot bus driver. Needless to say I was in agony Tuesday night and ended up going into my bed at 8:45. Yesterday I am still pissed off about this dinner I am not invited to that is to take place later in the evening. So as I am walking towards the kitchen to get water I see one of the station people and half joking/half serious say, “Nice for you guys to have a dinner now when I am off the team! Why couldn’t you have it two months ago?” So she looked at me and was like, “Aw. I’m sorry. Do you want to come?” And I said, “I am not mad at you, I am mad at them.” and pointed towards my old managers office. She nodded her head. And then I talked to her for a couple of more minutes. About a half an hour later I get a message from my old manager, “Stacela, I’m so sorry we forgot. We didn’t mean to exclude you it was an oversight. Of course you are welcome to come with us. You worked hard for us for two years.” Yadda Yadda Yadda. So I was invited in the end and went out with my old team.
It was the best time. Seriously. They are an insane group of people and I love them all. They are all funny in their own way and it’s because of them that I enjoyed coming to work. I miss being on that team more than words can express. We had so much fun last night. We laughed the entire night. And drank the entire night. I did a tequila shot for the first time in like six years and loved it! It was sooooo good.
As much as I complain about my job I really love the people I work with. We all get along pretty well.
A few of us were calling each other on our cell phones on our way home. They had car service come and pick us all up individually. It was hilarious. At one point I was like, “Ah shit I am about to go into the Battery Tunnel, I’ll call you when I get to Brooklyn.” It was a blast.
And I am feeling ok today considering how much I drank last night. We were there from 6 until 11:30! Yikes. And I am going out again tonight for a coworker’s 30th birthday party tonight. I don’t think I can drink again.
My friend Jessica and I went out to this place called Ricky’s and bought gag gifts. Well, she did. I bought a Care Bear. Cheer Bear, the one with the rainbow on her belly. I loved the Care Bears.
Aw crap lunch is over!
Stace
November 15th 2002
Pet Peeve time since nothing is really pissing me off and I am in a good mood for the first time in a while.
Pronouncing words that have “th” with an “f” sound. That drives me insane. It’s with, not wif. It’s birthday, not birfday. I overheard a conversation on the ferry between and mother and her child. She was asking him how things were going in his maf class. The child bless his heart said to his mom, “Things are great. I got a 100 on a quiz. I really like math.” Hallelujah!
Frustrated vs. fustrated: I remember being called into my manager’s office about two years ago when I was going through a tough time at my job. And this woman who was probably making 8 times my salary said to me, “I know you’re fustrated but….” I didn’t hear the rest of her statement because I was too busy ripping a hole into my pants out of FRUSTRATION. She said the word 3 more times incorrectly and from that point on I never took her seriously.
Supposedly vs. supposively. What the fuck does supposively mean? Enough said.
Ask vs. ax: Excuse me, I’d like to ASK you a question. Wow that is a really big AX. You must use that AX to chop down big trees.
When I was young I had a neighbor/friend that always said, “These are mines.” In relation to something she owned. Jesus even at 6 years old it bothered me…then I heard her mom say it and knew why she said it all the time.
I got my eyebrows waxed today and the woman took off a little more than I expected. They are pretty thin. I was a little startled when I looked in the mirror.
It’s hair it will grow back.
I have such bad gas right now. I have a pocket of it stuck in my chest! Ugh. I want to burp but I am in my cubicle and can’t do that.
I have nothing planned this weekend. I am going to sit at home and write as much as possible.
I am working on a story that revolves around a girl in her late twenties. Gee, what a stretch! But wait there is a stretch. She’s having a sexual affair with a higher up, her married best friend has decided to come out as a lesbian and she is stressed out at work…I know, soap opera-ish but my classmates all seem to like it so far. So that’s pretty cool!
Some of it is taken from real life some is not.
I am feeling like my writer’s block may be over. Oooo and good news! They may be offering an Erotica Writing class next year! Heh! I will learn how to write smut!
Could you imagine if that’s how I make my fortune? Writing smut, lounging in my robe and fuzzy high-heeled slippers? HAHAHAHA.
I do have goals! Just kidding.
This good mood is not dissipating! I love it. It’s nice being happy for a change.
Although the pain in my chest seems to be getting worse and my body is making really strange noises…
StaceNovember 11th 2002
It’s an icky day out today. Yes icky is the best word to describe it. I was going to go out to get my eyebrows waxed but it was too windy and rainy for me to leave the building. I didn’t feel like coming back upstairs to get my coat.
I was cleaning my room this weekend and I found pictures from last year’s Christmas party. Man I was heavy! Jesus.
I am so glad that I will be looking a lot better at this year’s party (if they have one)
You know when you are mad at someone and you have nine million things to say to them to tell them off? Well what if a month passes and you don’t feel the need to tell them off anymore but they want you to anyway? What’s that about? I don’t feel the need to bring up stuff that’s going to piss me off when I am in a good mood for the first time in weeks.
Oh shit Josh Jackson got arrested on Saturday night! Oops.
He supposedly attacked a security guard at the RBC Center in Raleigh during a Carolina Hurricanes game. Dumbass. And he was really drunk to boot! Good boy.
Do you know how many Puerto Ricans from the Bronx are actually ashamed that JHo is one of them? There are quite a few. If she keeps this marriage merry go round going she’ll be the next Elizabeth Taylor. Only she’ll have her eight husbands before she hits 45.
Jackass.
Man, now it’s cold in here. Earlier we were all dying from the heat.
I am going to go to the gym after work. So I have more time to workout. When I go during lunch I am always in a hurry to get out of there because I am afraid to be late coming back up here. At least after work I can workout for 45-60 minutes and not be rushed to leave.
Okay the Sopranos shocked the hell out of me last night…holy shit.
I have to go back to JHo. Can’t she date people? Why does she have to marry people? Jesus. Oh wait she dated Puffy for two years. Whatthefuckever.
And she’s so proud to announce her engagement to Ben Affleck. Sweetie you are a laughingstock. People think you are a Dumbass. Even the people from the boogie down don’t like you anymore. You’re an embarrassment.
Ok enough about that.
I am still laughing about Josh Jackson’s arrest. What a Dumbass!
I seriously cannot believe what I saw on the Sopranos last night. I literally screamed at my TV. My roommate’s dog looked at me like, “Jesus what now?”
And I am so upset that the season finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm is next week! What the hell! Why is the season so damn short? It only started September 15th!
Last weeks episode was so funny. I was crying from laughing so hard.
Ok I need to print out labels.
StaceNovember 6th 2002
Well, I am back at work and so far it’s been painless. I haven’t been too pissed off.
Then again, no one’s really bothered me. It’s kind of slow today.
Oh I did have one aggravating moment with the printer because it’s a piece of shit but besides that it’s been good.
One of my coworkers walked over and “yelled” at me for not going over to say hi to him (he had been gone for a month) and I had to inform him that I was not ignoring him, I had been out for two days and I had just arrived in the office fifteen minutes earlier. He apologized.
I am happy he’s back. He makes me laugh because he says my nickname wrong. It’s Gotsu and he says, “Gotso.” It’s pretty funny.
He’s hot but taken. It’s the story of my life.
It seems I may have 10 people out tomorrow night for Outing #2! I am so excited.
I am looking forward to going back to the apartment. Being at my parents’ house these past few days made me miss my freedom. On Monday night I was stuck watching wrestling because my brother was taping it and my dad was downstairs watching Fox News Channel. Ugh.
Is it still raining? I hope not. I don’t have an umbrella.
So they finally opened my favorite soup place downstairs. Unfortunately the line was out the door. Damn them. I am impatient and wasn’t going to wait.
I’ll try again tomorrow. I need my Chicken Vegetable with couscous.
I hung more pictures up at my desk. I like having pictures up. I like looking at my friends…it makes the day better.
My best friend and I went to the mall yesterday and we went into the pet store. I saw the cutest puppies yesterday. Oh my God. I saw two pugs, two Boston Terriers, one Pekingese and the cutest Chihuahua. I placed my hand on the glass and he raised his paw and tried to touch me. I was like, “I WANT HIM!!!!” He was so adorable. I felt bad for all of them though.
I miss Sandy (my roommate’s dog). She can be a pest sometimes but she is so damn cute.
Aw crap lunch is almost over. My stomach is bothering me right now.
StaceNovember 5th 2002
I am such a dumbass sometimes. I bought a leather skirt. It looks really good on me but DAMN it was a lot of money. And it was a size 8!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeehaw! I am still in single digits! I want to be a 6.
Der.
And I somehow broke a nail when I was shopping.
I bought a pair of tall brown boots…because I actually did need them. I didn’t have brown boots.
I also bought a really cute black corduroy mini skirt. I can’t wait to wear that.
Okay I have to not shop until I have to go Christmas shopping. I can’t wait for that. Ugh.
I hate Christmas shopping.
I also hate complications. Why can’t things ever be easy?
Wow. The Rangers are winning?
Okay so my grandma has an infection…and it’s a not a good thing. It’s like a staph infection. She does not need that at 94.
GOD!!! Do not let anything happen to her. Please. I know I haven’t exactly been the model of good behavior this year but seriously don’t let anything happen to my grandma.
StaceNovember 4th 2002
I’m back. I feel so much better now that I showered. I also gave myself a mini facial.
Yay!
Okay the first track on Justin Timberlake’s CD is very Stevie Wonder-ish. Seriously. It’s called “Senorita”. I think I like it.
I am listening it via AOL’s listening party feature. I love having a cable modem.
And I am sitting here taping wrestling for my brother. I wish it would end so I can change the channel. I can’t take it. It’s been on since 9PM and now it’s 11:04PM.
I love ‘Like I Love You’. I’ll admit it. Say it with me now, “TOOL!”. I am a to to the ol.
Yikes.
This stupid show is supposed to end at 11:05 Damn it!
I used Philopshy’s Cinnamon Bun body wash and I want to eat myself. Ew. That didn’t sound right.
StaceNovember 4th 2002
I can’t wait for the elections to be over. I am sick of seeing political ads and I am sick of the signs all over the place.
What a lazy day I had. I did nothing. Literally. I ate, watched TV and was on the computer all day.
I was up until close to 4 last night. I was wide awake but there was nothing on TV. I was watching the Brady Bunch and laughing because the infamous “Desi Arnaz Jr.” episode was on.
I wish I could take this whole week off from work.
Who am I kidding? I wish I could take the rest of the year off.
The Giants and the Jets both won. Shocker.
I have a cat hair in my eye and I can’t get it out…it’s bothering the shit out of me.
I am watching a repeat of the Rock on SNL. He was great both times he was on.
I like J Ho’s “Jenny from the Block” song. Ick. That upsets me.
I am so glad I can sleep late again tomorrow. I woke up at 11:15 this morning. I would have slept longer but I made myself get up.
I love when Darryl Hammond when does his Chris Matthews impression. Heh.
I am addicted to the show “Fastlane”. Peter Facinelli is H-O-T. Damn.
I’m so glad it’s back on.
Ooo Justin Timberlake on Barbara Walters tonight. I wonder if he’ll discuss Britney.
I need to shower. I feel gross. I also need to workout.. I worked out at the gym on Friday and danced on Saturday but besides that….nothing. And I am eating more than usual.
I have to do crunches while I am watching TV tonight or something.
Okay two of my dad’s friends have called this evening and when they realized it was me on the phone and not my mom their reaction was, “What are you doing there?!?” Heh.
Am I not allowed to be with my parents???
If I see Ben Affleck somewhere I am going to smack the shit out of him. Stay away from JHo!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!
I can’t help but miss Mariah Carey. She is coming out with something new so hopefully I’ll have some stuff to make fun of.
I am breaking out and it’s pissing me off. I hate cold weather.
I want to go to Disney World.
Justin, GRRRRR. God I feel so dirty.
AH!!!!!! He’s singing New Kids on the Block!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
“I’ll be loving you forever!!!” HA!
Sorry I was transported back to the summer of 1989.
“I Want You Back” transports me back to Spring 1998 and reminds me of my friend Alex. She loved that song.
I’ll be back later. I have to write for my class…last minute. Just like every other week.
StaceNovember 3rd 2002
I want an exotic name. I think that Stacey is not a pretty girl name.
Jessica, Jennifer, Melissa, Julia…those are pretty girl names. I think I want to start calling myself Tasia (pronounced Tay-sha). I’ll tell people my real name is Anastasia. It’s not like anyone will ask for my birth certificate. Now that I am older I wish my mom had stuck with Anastasia instead of just naming me Stacey. My grandmothers, both of them, have/had cool, exotic sounding names. My Italian Grandmother is Angelina and my Greek Grandmother was Theodora. How cool are those names??
I think if I move away and start over I will start calling myself Tasia. Or maybe Stasia (pronounced Stay-sha). Oooo I can do that instead.
So how was everybody’s Saturday night? Mine was actually a lot of fun. So my friends and I went to the thirsty turtle in white Plains like we said we would. It was a good time. I looked good. I was one of those girls that other girls looked at in envy. My weight loss was noticeable in the outfit I was wearing. My stomach looked really flat and I was wearing a new belly baring blouse that I bought yesterday. I felt like Britney Spears. Heh.
I felt really good about myself last night. It’s about damn time.
Holy shit! Did you guys see the 200 car pileup in Long Beach, CA this morning??? Damn!
Macaulay Culkin was so cute in Home Alone. Aw.
I watched “Kissing Jessica Stein” today. I liked it. It was pretty good.
I love Christmas but I can’t handle being in stores and hearing Christmas songs in the beginning of November. I always believed that Christmas season started when Santa made it to Macy’s in the thanksgiving day parade.
I shouldn’t be too excited for Christmas. Another Christmas without a boyfriend. Oh well.
One less person to buy a gift for! See? The bright side. The glass is half full!
Sorry.
There’s nothing on TV. I refuse to watch football. Mainly because both NY teams suck ass and it’s annoying. This is just not a good sports year for New York.
The Knicks will start off 0-19. Just kidding. Could you imagine??
At least it will be easier for me to get tickets this year. Heh.
Wow the bright side again!!!
I am having a lazy day. I may take a bath later and pamper myself. Do my nails, shave, moisturize etc etc. Ooo I’ll soak my feet! Yeah, that’s the ticket.
I feel like I am PMSing today. I am being so nasty to my brother. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Okay a normal human being would not be able to withstand the torture that Macaulay Culkin inflicts on Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci.
My favorite part is when he puts the spider on Daniel Stern’s face and Daniel Stern screams like a girl. That always cracks me up.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
It’s 4:44 PM and it feels like it’s 9 PM.
I want to go to bed.
StaceNovember 1st 2002
It’s a new month and that means a new start. I am going to try to forget everything that happened so far this year and start fresh.
Step one in that exercise requires my friends and I to go out on Saturday night so we can find some men. Three of us are painfully single so we can go out and hook up with whomever we want! We are supposed to try something new so we are venturing out of Rockland County and going over to Westchester County. White Plains, NY to be exact. Some establishment called the Thirsty Turtle…or the Green Turtle or the Thirsty Green Turtle…I have no idea but I heard it was a fun place,
I hope the guys there are nice and I hope that Stacey’s bitch face does not emerge. I am going to smile and laugh and pretend like I have not a care in the world. I will smile when someone smiles at me. I will try to be nice and not make fun of people.
My goal is to just talk to a member of the opposite sex. I don’t need to hook up (that would be a bonus) I just want to talk and be relaxed. I don’t think it’s an unattainable goal.
OK why is it so hard for people to hold doors for someone behind them? The woman in front of me didn’t hold the door open for me as I walked into the ferry terminal and I nearly lost a finger. Bitch.
So my Grandma is going to be OK. The doctors found what was wrong and repaired it. She’ll be released in a couple of days…Thank GOD!
I am actually looking forward to my adventure this weekend.
I should be in Wilmington right now but I had a panic attack and decided not to go. I am still taking Monday and Tuesday off. My therapist thinks I should. She says that I need to clear my head and get away from work for a few days.
I wish I could do that for about 9 months. I’ll come back in August 2003 a brand new woman.
I still cannot believe that someone killed Jam Master Jay! WTF?
I missed Friends and Scrubs last night but I watched ER and got extremely upset. Don Cheadle is playing a med student with Parkinson’s Disease. Seeing him shake and walk unsteadily made me cry. God I hate being so emotional. It’s annoying sometimes. Although considering what an emotional basket case I’ve been lately I did pretty well at the funeral on Wednesday. I had to be there for my friend. I couldn’t fall apart.
Personally I think the fact that I cried for almost 2 hours on Tuesday night helped me the next day. I was all cried out…Lisa Lisa shout out yo! Er, Sorry. Where was I? Ah yes. The crying; I did cry a couple of times. For instance when everyone was called to the casket for the last goodbyes…that was hard. And at the cemetery.
I was bored on the ferry last night because I had finished the latest book I was reading so I wrote a list of what I want from man…Don’t laugh.
And now in no particular order…Stacey’s requirements for her future mate.
I want a man who is taller than me.
I want a man who will want me and only me.
I want a man who will understand and appreciate my love for the Yankees.
I want a man who will respect me and who will understand that I won’t go to bed with him right away.
I need to know that someone wants me to be happy and that my happiness makes them happy.
I want someone to make me his main priority.
I want someone who will not be intimidated by my love of sports.
I want someone who will understand and not be pissed off when I don’t want to go out or when I want to be left alone.
I want someone who can put up with my moods swings.
I want someone who is happy to see and happy to talk to me.
I want someone who will be the last person I talk to at night and the first I talk to in the morning.
I want someone who will miss me when I am gone and who will count the minutes until my return.
I want someone who will try to get a long with my friends.
I want a man who will buy me flowers every once in a while.
I want a man who will call me just to see how my day went.
I want a man who will understand my fears of intimacy and one who will help me conquer them.
I need someone who can banter with me.
I want someone who doesn’t smoke.
I want someone who isn’t a raging alcoholic.
I want someone who will tell me I look beautiful even when I am sick with the flu and wearing sweatpants and no make up.
I need someone who will fall in love with me despite all of my faults.
Someone who will find my complaining endearing instead of annoying.
I need someone who will appreciate my knowledge of useless facts and tidbits.
I want someone who will not make fun of me when I recite the year a song came out or when I name a song after hearing two notes.
I need someone who will understand that my family is somewhat wacky (So am I—Duh)
I need someone who will accept the fact that my first child will have the name Mattingly somewhere, whether it’s a first name of a middle name.
I want someone who likes sports.
I want someone who won’t bail at the first sign of trouble.
I want someone who will hold my hand.
I want someone who will not freak out about my website.
I need someone who will encourage me when I am in a funk.
I need someone who will stroke my hair and my face when I am upset and someone who will calm me down in a matter of seconds.
I need someone who will make me feel girly and fragile sometimes.
I need someone who can put up with my inability to be wrong in certain situations.
I just don’t want to be alone anymore…
Oops time to get back to work.
StaceOctober 31st 2002
Happy Halloween! Yeah right.
So did I tell you guys that some people in my office are saying that I slept with a married coworker? Isn't that great?
God I hate people.
I couldn't believe it when I heard it. What are people thinking when they spread that shit around?
That's part of the reason why I didn't go to work today. I don't want to deal with people there right now because I am so angry.
Ugh.
Do I need that shit? I am not enjoying going to work as it is.
So I am moving back home with my parents for a little while. My mom and my friends are thrilled. I'm not. I'm used to being "on my own". I'll probably want to move out again within a week.
I'd really like to know who the fuck started that rumor. I didn't say anything to anyone. Hmmmmmm. I don't know if I should confront the person who was spreading it to find out where he heard it from...or if I should let it go. I've never been the subject of office gossip before. Well, not that I know of.
Oh boy. Just when I think things couldn't possibly get worse...
I shouldn't complain right? I mean how bad could it be that people think I am screwing, oh wait, thought that I screwed a married coworker. It's not that bad...at least people thought I was sexually active this summer.
"Hey did you hear about Stacey and so and so?...They had an affair!"
People just don't think about the consequences of their actions.
You can't do something like that and expect the people you're talking about to not find out about it.
Of course, there are other instances where people should think about consequences and other people's feelings...but they don't. And they don't give a shit about anyone or anything but themselves.
I like to call those people little boys running scared. They start something and then when shit gets too complicated they run away. They try to cover their own asses and run the fuck away. They think of themselves. They don't care that what they are doing to other people is hurtful.
Man I am on a roll again but I must go. I have errands to run. And I have to go see my therapist tonight. Thank god.
StaceOctober 25th 2002
The doctors are taking my roommate’s sister off life support today. Please keep her and her family in your prayers, if you do that sort of thing. Thanks.
StaceOctober 24th 2002 3:37PM
I feel so bad for my roommate and her family. Her sister is too young to be this sick. She’s in her early thirties and it’s like she’s in her 70’s or 80’s. Her poor body has been through so much. It sucks. I feel bad for her daughters. I will be around this weekend and I told my roommate that if they need me to watch the girls I would.
Part of me feels like she may be better off passing away. There’s only so much a person can take.
She’s braver than I am, that’s for sure.
I couldn’t imagine having to see someone I love suffer like that.
**Knocking on wood**
Situations like these make you want to tell everyone you care about that you are thankful to have them in your life.
Hug em, kiss em, and tell them you’re sorry for whatever stupid things you argued about the night before, the week before, the year before. Wow. I think I have some people to get in touch with.
StaceOctober 24th 2002
The concert was kick ass. Garbage kicked ass and so did No Doubt. I had a blast.
I did feel a tad bit old with the little Gwen Stefani wannabes running around but I enjoyed myself. They played almost everything I wanted to hear. I danced, I sang, jumped around, etc. It was a great time.
And I actually have a voice this morning! I was shocked.
I am not in the mood to be here at all. Everyone who is calling into the office today is a pain in my ass.
One of my account managers has been out due to death in her family but she was supposed to come back yesterday and apparently didn’t tell people that she was going to take the rest of the week off so now these idiot buyers are calling me and bugging me because she didn’t do half of her shit.
Like that’s my fault?!?
Please.
Christ if another person calls me because they need me to do something that should have been taken care of 3 months ago by my account manager I will fucking hit someone with a blunt object.
LEAVE ME ALONE FOR CRISSAKES!!!
I can’t take this shit today. I am not in the mood for idiocy. Just give me the orders to send down. I am more than happy to do that. The phone calls I can do without. I hate this new seating arrangement and I can’t deal with being so close to the people I work with. I liked where I used to sit. I was left alone. No one bothered me. Now I can’t get away.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I am going to stop complaining because my roommates’ sister is in a coma and it doesn’t look good. My “problems” are miniscule compared to that. I feel so bad for my roommate and her family. They’ve been through so much.
Pray for my roommate’s sister please. Thanks.
StaceOctober 23rd 2002
Ooo we’re being trained to learn a new system at work. I have two afternoons next week away from this godforsaken place. And I am with people I like. Well some of them. I am with the manager who never says hi to me. But on a day when I wore a tight dress he told other people in the office I looked hot. Pig.
Anywho, I worked out for the first time in two weeks and poof! The appetite is back! Wow, amazing, huh?
I feel so good. I worked out pretty hard for someone who hasn’t done anything in two weeks.
Aw hell yeah.
No Doubt tonight! Woo hoo!
So one of the managers is leaving and now everyone will be pitching for her job. She’s a bitch. I’m not sorry to see her go. Come to think of it, most people aren’t sorry to see her go. I knew about her leaving a while ago. A little birdie told me.
Some of the people who will be pitching for the job are scary themselves.
Garbage tonight! Woo hoo!
Why isn’t my mommy calling me back? Wench. Just kidding.
I hate stress. It causes weird things to happen with your body.
I also hate that I am not really stressed out at my job. It’s all my personal life, finances, and crap like that.
Okay I must go and get ready for No Doubt.
My new email sound is Steve Martin yelling, “the new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here!” from the Jerk.
Heh.
StaceOctober 22nd 2002 3:03PM
My 10-year um I mean 11-year high school reunion will be held on April 5th 2003. Isn’t that great? Jackasses.
Thank God I am going to Vegas the next weekend. I would have been pissed if I missed it.
I want to go home. I have a headache. And I am feeling really shitty.
I HATE EMOTIONS!!!!! DAMN IT! And I hate that I can’t hate people even when they hurt me. I am too nice. I need to be mean. I need to let people know that they cannot walk all over my emotions. They need to know that hurting me isn’t a good thing.
I can’t give in. I can’t do it.
I want people to hurt as badly as I do. I want to know that people are hurt. I want to know that losing my friendship is painful, is that too much to fucking ask?!?!
Okay I’d better go before I reveal more of my feelings and get mushy.
Stace
PS. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE BLOW THEIR NOSES????? WHY MUST THEY SWALLOW THEIR SNOT??? I am so grossed out right now I may puke.
October 22nd 2002
I have no appetite, at all. I can’t eat and when I do I get sick. I am really not purposely starving myself. (Some people may think that I am, but I’m not) But I just can’t eat. My dinners consist of crackers. I don’t eat breakfast and I am lucky if I can eat more than soup at lunch. Maybe I’m depressed? I usually eat when I am depressed. My best friend pointed it out to me this weekend. I can usually eat at my parents’ house and I couldn’t this weekend. I almost throw up when I went out to dinner on Saturday night. The dinner was good but I almost couldn’t keep it down. Can anything else happen to me?
Oh wait I ate potato chips on Sunday! That’s something!
I hope I can eat more than soup today. I tried to eat a sandwich with the soup but I could only eat half.
I look like peanut butter and jelly today. I am wearing a purplish top and camel colored pants. It’s pretty funny.
I am counting the minutes until my vacation.
I am looking at the picture of my brother and I at a Yankee game we attended in September. I was so happy in that picture. If I had known what the next day would be like I wouldn’t have woken up. That was my last truly happy day before everything turned to crap. September 4th 2002. You can see by the look on my face that I was very happy. My Yankees had beaten the Red Sox, I was getting along with my brother, and work was going okay and then the next day BAM!!! NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!
It’s amazing that I predicted it. I knew that night that things were going to turn bad. I hate women’s intuition.
Sometimes I want to take that damn picture down but it’s a cute picture of us.
I want to bring in more pictures for my desk. More pictures of my friends.
I may wander over to Hale and Hearty on 47th Street and get the chicken vegetable with couscous soup that I LOVE. I should be able to eat that.
Emotions still suck.
I used new shampoo this morning and it made my hair extremely bouncy. It’s weird. I’m not used to having such poofy hair.
Did I mention how I missed meeting Rondell White by like two seconds on Thursday night?
Yeah that’s the way my luck has been going lately.
I am seriously considering doing absolutely nothing in Wilmington. I need to veg. I need to get the hell out of here.
I should have picked another place. But how was I to know in August that October would be so crappy?
I may have lost weight but I still have a damn belly. Damn it.
I get to see my therapist on Thursday. I cannot wait to see her face when I tell everything that’s happened in the last 3 weeks…and of course fill her in on the stuff I didn’t tell her about this summer. Yikes. We may have to waste 5 sessions just on my summer activities.
Okay Curb Your Enthusiasm is so damn funny. It’s my new favorite show. Larry David is insane. Seriously.
I can’t get into the Sopranos, at all. I tried watching it last night but I wasn’t feeling it.
5 months until Queer As Folk starts! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
They repeated my favorite Season 1 episode last night and I missed most of it. I was so pissed especially since I gave my DVDs to one of my coworkers to borrow.
I need money.
I got my raise but I still need money.
Oh woe is me. I’ll stop complaining now.
Let’s talk about happy stuff! I’m going to No Doubt tomorrow night! Yay!
I’m going on vacation soon! I get to go to Wilmington! Yay!
I will (hopefully) be moving into my Grandma’s apartment! Yay!
I will (hopefully) be alone! Yay!
Oh crap I need money for lunch! Great, I get to go to the ATM and I get see how much money I don’t have in my bank account.
Uh oh. I was complaining again.
Sorry.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts…I want to find that guy who wanted to share my umbrella. But I will probably never see him again.
God! I can’t go a single sentence without saying something negative!
It’s sunny out. It looks like a nice day. Yeah I think I will definitely go to Hale and Hearty. I hope it’s not too crazy in there.
They opened the Rockefeller Ice Rink. I have never been skating there before. And I never want to. Everyone watches you. I know, because I do it. I’ll go downstairs for air and watch the people and make fun of the ones that fall on their Asses. I know I’m evil.
I need to write a letter to someone. A letter I will never send to the person in a million years but a letter that will make me feel better by writing it.
The idea is to get everything I am feeling off my chest. I think I’ll do that tonight.
I need to workout. It’s been two weeks. This is the longest stretch since July. I am not proud of that.
I have to make myself look good for the men I’ll never meet. Heh.
Ok I have to stop. I am being way too depressing.
It’s the Yankees pitching staff’s fault! Those bastards. I wouldn’t be thinking about anything else if they were in the World Series. Thanks a lot boys. I appreciated your effort.
“Always something breaking us in two….” I love this song. Joe Jackson is awesome. MTV played that video a lot. I was in 3rd grade.
Ace Ventura was on last night. Jim Carrey is so funny in that movie. I don’t know how they got through any takes. I clearly remember when my dad watched it for the first time how much he was laughing. He was laughing so hard at one point that no noise was coming out but he was shaking.
So there was another shooting in Maryland. If I lived there I wouldn’t leave my house. It is so scary. This freak is just shooting/killing random people.
I hope they catch the person soon.
The sun is deceiving. It looks warm out but it’s really only like 50 degrees.
I am seriously thinking about going to Florida for Spring Training. I have never done that and I have always wanted to.
Maybe I’ll start planning that trip.
There’s something to look forward to! Sun, warm weather, Jason Giambi all sweaty from running…Grrrr.
Yeehaw! I am in a good mood again.
StaceOctober 20th 2002
I am so excited. I weighed myself earlier tonight and I had to look three times to make sure I was seeing correctly. According to my parents’ scale I weigh 143. Woo hoo!
I only have 8 more pounds to go!
I hope I can do it.
I also hope I can sleep tonight. I haven’t been sleeping well since about October 9th. That’s too long a stretch. I’m exhausted.
My vacation cannot come soon enough. I wish it was this coming weekend instead of the next one.
Aw yeah. Saturday Night Fever is on DVD. I must get it.
Wow this baseball game seems like it’s never going to end. It’s 9-7 Giants in the 5th inning.
Tonight would have been my night at the World Series if the Yankees had made it. *insert sad face*
We would have been freezing our asses off!
With the way I have been feeling lately I’m better off being home. Then again maybe the Yankees being out of the playoffs isn’t helping my mood. If they were in the playoffs I wouldn’t be worried about the other crap going on in my life. Going to playoff games would have helped to distract me a bit.
Well, I do have the No Doubt/Garbage concert on Wednesday night. Yay.
af·fair A romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.
Oh good. I am in the clear. I did not have one of these. It was not romantic and it was definitely NOT sexual. Thank God. I feel a lot better now.
Heh.
Ooo 9-8 in the 6th inning.
Come on Angels! Please!
I showered tonight so I don’t have to shower first thing in the morning. Although I will be showering at work when I go to the gym. If I get in early enough I will go before work.
The phone keeps ringing. It’s almost 11 people. Get a grip.
Those thunder sticks are so annoying. I would have a migraine if I was in Anaheim right now.
I am watching American Bandstand’s 50th anniversary. 50 years!!! JESUS!
I LOVED watching Bandstand. I wanted to be on Bandstand when I was 4. I thought I could be. I didn’t care that I was too young.
I watched the ABC cartoons and then Bandstand on Saturdays. It was tradition.
I want to be 4 again.
Sometimes.
Okay I need to attempt to go to sleep.
StaceOctober 19th 2002
So I went to the dentist today and my bottom teeth bled more than my top teeth! Yippee.
My dental hygenist said that I must be doing a good job redirecting my stress because my teeth and gums look a lot better. It's probably because I've been working out.
By the way, I made a bet with my brother that I could lose 15 lbs by the end of the year. We bet $100. I hope I can do it.
I better start working out like a maniac. If I lose 15 lbs I'll be close to 130. I haven't been that small since I was 18. (right now I am eating Lay's potato chips--that won't help me)
Working out like a freak and eating lettuce. Just kidding.
I love the Santana/Michelle branch song but I hate the video. Do I need to see people making out? No, I don't. Same thing with Vanessa Carlton's video. Ick.
I feel like I can't write. I gotta go.
StaceOctober 18th 2002
I work with a bunch of lame ass people. I was correct. The number was 3. A few people couldn’t go because of family obligations, etc. But the rest of them are lame Asses.
I had a nice buzz and didn’t pay for a fookin thing so I was happy.
We are trying again in three weeks. My buddy Brian said he’d go, so as long as he’s out I’ll be happy.
LAME ASSES!
And another guy who works with me but who is down working in the Philly office for the next few weeks emailed me and told me not to give up yet. And I won’t damn it!
I think the problem is that we are established in this place. The people who work in our office worked in other places. They have families. They’re older. At the rep firms the majority of people are young which is why we went out all the time. I went out every week when I worked at my first rep firm. EVERY WEEK. I was a lush. I would take the 9:30 bus home to Rockland bombed. Aw I miss those days.
I am not old yet! And I have to meet my future husband! I won’t do that in my bedroom. Not unless some miracle occurs. Heh.
So I feel like crap and I am about to get personal. Wait isn’t this whole page me getting personal??
Well here’s the short version. I got my period unexpectedly and now I have to walk around with something tied around my waist if you catch my drift. I’ve had this fucking thing half my life…you’d think I’d feel it!! How annoying. I did have a change of underwear because I am going to my parent’s house this weekend. But I only have jeans with me… DER.
I went to the drug store downstairs and bought pads and Pamprin. The girls gave me a knowing smile. And the little dears put my big package of pads in a paper bag and then the plastic bag.
It took me until I was about 25 to not get embarrassed buying feminine products. Sometimes I still get a little uneasy. Oh well.
Jesus as long as I am cleansing myself of this kinda crap I might as well tell you all how much I fucking hate being lied to.
When people lie to me once I get pissed but I get over it but when I am lied to over and over again I get really pissed and won’t talk to the person. Well, for a while. Until I have cooled off.
Hate is a very strong word. I said I hated someone last week and I didn’t mean it. I was extremely pissed off. I don’t hate the person. I dislike them tremendously at this moment. I was too close to the person to hate them. I don’t think I ever could. BUT the person hurt me more than I have been hurt by anyone in a really long time. So I am shutting them out for now. It’s easier on me to not communicate at all with the person.
It’s getting easier not talking to them though. I thought it would be impossible but it’s been just about a week and I am surviving. Wow I guess I didn’t like them as much as I thought. Heh.
I am looking forward to a weekend of doing nothing. Last weekend I was running around like a maniac…wait…if I am doing nothing I’ll think and I can’t have that. I cannot think!!! NO!!!!!!!! If I think then I’ll get upset. I CAN’T BE UPSET. I have to be happy.
I am seeing No Doubt on Wednesday. That should make me happy. I am going away on vacation two weeks from today. Yeehaw!
Didn’t work. I’m still kinda sad.
It’s 1:09p! We’re closer to 5:00!
Happier.
I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.
Not happy.
I may finally see My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
Happy.
I may decide to stay home and lay in fetal position on my bed all night.
Not bad.
Ugh. The all employee emails now include baby announcements. Someone shoot me now. Give me the gun. I am so sick of babies and talk of babies and pregnancies. Everyone is fucking pregnant or getting pregnant or just had babies. Ick.
I am really only saying this because I am menstrual. Normally I love babies and freak out when I see their cute little faces.
