What to do about gay 'marriages'
The problem needs a solution that's fair to all Canadians
By MICHAEL COREN -- Sun Media--Jan.20, 2001
The issue of homosexuality is perhaps the most difficult one about which to write. It is about real, breathing, loving, often hurting people. To oppose the various demands of gay people is seen by many to be cruel and uncaring. They have a point. Hatred and ignorance has been behind much of the opposition to homosexuality over the years, and to a certain extent still is.
We're probably all guilty, and I know there are some things I have written in the past that I would not say now.
But to refine one's attitude towards a situation does not necessarily mean one changes one's overall stance. For me, the supreme position must be no compromise on truth, no compromise on love. The latest cause for debate, of course, is the so-called marriage of two homosexual couples in a gay church in Toronto. The coverage has been quite extraordinary, almost all of it overwhelmingly positive. A few observations.
Double standard
First, it's odd that people who routinely hurl abuse at anti-poverty groups, unions and social activists and who call for ever more attacks on welfare and public funding are so very liberal on issues like homosexuality. I have seen this time and time again. Journalists and commentators who make a living out of labelling people as extremists or as unrepresentative leaders of special interest groups, who champion banks and corporations, suddenly become all sensitive and sympathetic when sexuality is the issue.
It's the phenomenon of the lifestyle liberal. The campaign for supposed gay rights is to a large extent a middle-class battle, one supported by money and the market because money and the market believes in low taxes and low morals. The neo-conservatives ride again. Protest the closing of a hospital or the shooting of a black youth by the cops and we'll call you a zealot. Ask for two men to be married and we'll cry for their pain.
Second, the bias shown by media in reporting the ceremonies in the gay church has been quite something, even by Canadian standards. Interesting this, in that marriage is usually mocked and marginalized. People get married all the time, sacrifice for one another, remain faithful to one another, love one another, raise children together, nurse one another.
Yet newspapers, television and movies seem to promote infidelity and laugh at the stable married couple. Perhaps it's just because they're boring old heterosexuals.
Third, it is truly ridiculous that Howard Hampton went along to the ceremony in person to show his backing. It seems the NDP leader's desperation is showing.
Having lost the support of organized labour and the poor he is now seeking the gay vote. This could well be a waste of time. Many gay people have higher-than-average disposable incomes and do not welcome the policies of the New Democrats. There is the phenomenon of the gay Tory. Some leading homosexuals claim that just because they're involved in one political struggle it does not mean they have to embrace the political left. They may well be correct.
Certainly Hampton has given a slap in the face to every voter who holds that social democrats can still believe in the traditional family.
Venom and coldness
Fourth, there are crazy people on all sides. Some of those protesting all this have shamed the cause and the man they claim they represent. They evince venom and coldness.
Equally, there are some in the gay community who are horribly intolerant. I can show you the threats. But these two groups represent the polarized borders.
In between, there is much room for dialogue and understanding. And dialogue and understanding there must be. Gay people live together, always will live together and are entitled to name partners as legal and financial beneficiaries. Equally, marriage was conceived to describe only one thing: the union of a man and a woman. A domestic partnership? A recognized civil union that does not in any way diminish or alter the unique status of marriage? I don't know exactly. I do know the latest political and social fashion is with gay people and that, hey, perhaps they're due such a benefit.
But fashion has no answers. A genuine resolution, please, with compassion and empathy all around. |
