Part VI: The Signing TourOkay. We've gone over the whole process of writing a book (or at least writing THIS book) ... everything from concepting through multiple drafts and on to pre-publication. That should be it, right? Once the book is published it's completely out of the author's hands, right?
Au contraire.
There are all sorts of things you can do to help promote your new book ... and since your paycheck (if you're paid in royalties) is dependant on sales, you should do EVERYTHING you can to get each and every sale possible and that means marketing!
I decided to help out by making as many public appearances as possible ... a plan that culminated in the "Stan! On The Run Summer Tour." With the help of the fine folks in the Wizards of the Coast book and in-store promotions departments (especially Mary-Elizabeth Allen and Freddie Scott) I set up a series of signings and appearances in various states near where friends and family lived. Why? Because there wasn't a big enough budget for "Crab promotions" to actually pay for ANY of this.
Now, don't go getting all in a huff on my account. The fact of the matter is that this is how it goes for MOST of the Wizards novels. After all, they publish several per month ... and sending authors hither, thither, and yon is EXPENSIVE.
So Stan! On The Run was a shoestring operation. I drove from city to city to make appearances wherever they'd have me. For the most part I stayed in guest bedrooms or on couches. But I DID get to see people whom I love dearly, and whom I don't get to see nearly often enough. The details of all this can be found in the Tour Updates, so I'll spare rehashing them here ... but I will talk about what it's like to DO signings.
It's pretty scary, really.
I mean, you drive up to a store (or mall) that you've never seen before, walk into a shop that has done quite well without any of your books in the past, and say, "Hey! Here I am! The 'talent' is here!" To tell you the truth, I felt like an IDIOT each and every time. I'd see the table with a pile of books, a bottle of mineral water, and an imposing pile of books that the store owner hopes I will somehow be able to sell to people who have never heard of me. Now, I've done my share of acting, teaching, and other endeavors where you have to ACT more important and confindent than you necessarily feel ... but this was different. Unlike every other time, I didn't have anything to DO. I didn't have a lesson to teach, a speech to give, a script to perform, or any other material of any sort. I was supposed to carry this off by sitting behind a desk, smiling, and MAKING people pay attention to me.
So I take it back. I wasn't pretty scared ... I was TERRIFIED!!
After my experience "On The Run," though, I think I've got a few things figured out about the process ... and I'm going to share my top five with you here in the hopes that when it's YOUR turn out in the spotlight you're a little better prepared than I was.
1. Dress up. Oh, you don't have to wear a shirt and tie ... but don't wear your most "comfortable" (and by that I mean well-worn) t-shirt and jeans. In fact, stay away from t-shirts entirely. I wore my Stan! On The Run t-shirts to the first couple of appearances. I mean, not only were they comfortable, they were BY me AND in support of this appearance. But what I forgot to take into account is that the people who don't know who I am (in other words 99.99999% of the people who walk into the store) don't CARE that I have my own t-shirt. They just want to know who the "slob behind the desk" is. It pays to remember that even though you're doing a book signing, you're NOT a rock star. (And it pays even MORE to remember that the Beatles and the Rolling Stones started their careers by wearing suits and ties.)
2. Talk to someone. Talk to ANYONE. In fact, bring someone to talk to if you can. You want people, as they pass your signing table, to get the impression that you're someone interesting to talk to ... and NO ONE looks interesting if he is sitting at a desk in the middle of the store WAITING for someone to talk to. But if they walk in and see you talking animatedly with someone ... THEN they think that they might want to talk to you as well. They don't know that the pretty young woman is your sister, or the smartly dressed older gentleman is your Uncle Fred. They just know that you look interesting.
3. Talk about someone else's book. Okay, the purpose of this exercise is to sell books, right? And you want to convince people that your book is worth reading, right? Well, check this out: describing what's in your book is NOT the best way to do it. People KNOW that you want to sell them something. They KNOW that you think your own work is brilliant ... they're not going to BELIEVE you when you say so. What you need to do is convince them that you know good stuff when you see it. So talk about other people's books ... books that you think are really good. Or movies. Or music. Or anything that you and your audience can SHARE your appreciation of. I got more people to buy The Crab by talking about Macbeth and Kurosawa than by telling them about the book itself.
4. Be memorable. Okay ... this one is easier said than done, but try to figure out some way to stick in people's minds. For instance, when I signed books I occasionally drew a sketch on the inside front cover. "Oh! You can draw, too!" I also told jokes (or rather, I told amusing tales ... they were all true ... I swear!). Anything so that after I left the store the customers and staff would remember me. The idea is that even if only a few people come to see you, they'll talk about it when others are around ... and some of THOSE people will buy your book as a way of making up for missing you in person. Anything you can do to leave a mark (a POSITIVE mark) will only help you in the long run, if only so that the store owner wants to invite you back when your next book is published.
5. Don't let 'em see you sweat. At least one of your first signings will have more authors than visitors. (For those of you who only learned the "new math" that means just you, a pile of books and a store manager who wonders why he invited you there in the first place.) It's very important, in fact most important of all I think, to look good at these signings. If you can stay calm, look confident, and remain pleasant under these circumstances, then no appearance will ever hold much terror for you again.
The end of the tour: Well, I think I've passed along all the wisdom I can from this first forray into novel writing. I hope you've found it entertaining (and hopefully at least a little educational). Now all I have to do is convince someone to give me the chance to do it all over again. When that happens I'll share my findings here. In the meanwhile, I welcome all your comments either through private email or on the message boards.
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