Before she knew it, she had arrived at the Defense classroom. Hermione opened the door and walked in, closing it softly behind her. Lupin didn't look up from his papers but spoke from where he sat behind his desk.
"Miss Granger, please take a seat. I'll be with you in a minute."
Hermione sat down obediently and waited. Remus let his eyes trail over the parchment. A possible cure for werewolves? He couldn't believe it. After all this time he had a chance to be free, normal, to live again. Of course the potion was still in its testing stage, but so far the results looked good. Now is not the time, he thought. He had a lesson to teach.
Remus got up from his chair, slipping the parchment into an open drawer and came around the front of the desk. "I think we should work on boggarts tonight. You never got to properly banish one the last time I taught them and since it will definitely be on your N.E.W.T.s, I think it would be a good idea."
Remus knew he was staring, was very much aware of the fact, yet he couldn't look away. How was it that this girl, this woman-for that was what she now was-how could she unearth so many feelings and emotions he had kept hidden for years? How could she make him feel so alive when no one else could? It was amazing and frightening all at the same time.
He noticed the Gryffindor shift uncomfortably in her seat and look away. "I-I'm-" he knew he sounded like a blundering idiot. "I'll go get it, the boggart. Yes, I'll be back in a minute with the boggart." He practically ran out of the room.
Hermione sat at her desk trying desperately to steady her breathing. Lupin was seriously creeping her out. She had never seen him act so strange. After what seemed like hours but was only mere minutes, Lupin returned levitating a shaking file cabinet in the air in front of him.
"My file cabinet. Had it moved to one of the broom closets so I could do my work without all the noise, much to Filch's annoyance."
He set the cabinet down in front of his desk and it instantly began shaking violently. Hermione got up from her desk, wand raised and approached the cabinet.
"Ready?"
She nodded and Lupin threw open the door. For a second they saw nothing, just the dark shadows when suddenly a large wolf leaped out, teeth bared, claws reaching out toward Hermione.
"Riddikulus!" Hermione cried, but nothing happened.
The wolf advanced toward her, growling.
"Riddikulus!" she cried again.
Still, nothing. She looked to Lupin but he was staring wide-eyed at the creature, a strange look on his face.
"Riddikulus! Riddikulus! Riddikulus!"
Hermione was shaking now. She had backed up against a desk and couldn't move. The wolf was ready to pounce.
"Professor!" she cried, voice wobbling.
Lupin snapped out of his daze and stepped in front of Hermione. "Riddikulus!" he cried and the wolf changed into a silvery orb. He used his wand to force the boggart back into the filing cabinet and once again only the two of them remained.
He stood for a moment, back to her, trying to sort out what he had just seen. That was no ordinary wolf, it was him at the full moon, it was Moony. She was afraid of him? All this time she had felt this way and never said a word? Why?
"Hermione . . . " He turned to face her. "You're-you're afraid of me?"
"When you turn into that," she spat.
She was furious at him. He hadn't stopped the boggart added with the anger and frustration she felt about the other night. It wasn't fair. She felt like she was being ripped in two and he didn't even care.
"Don't you remember that night in the shrieking shack? You forgot your wolfsbane potion and transformed. I thought you were going to kill Ron."
"I wouldn't have harmed him, Hermione."
"How do you know?" She wanted to punish him, wanted to make him hurt the same way she hurt. "If Sirius wasn't there to stop you, you would have killed Ron and me and Harry! You know you would have!"
"Hermione . . . " He reached out a hand to her but she quickly moved away.
"YOU'RE A MONSTER!"
Lupin's hand froze. She could see the muscles in his jaw twitching and took a step back. But it wasn't fast enough.
"How dare you?!" He grabbed Hermione forcefully by the shoulders and shook her. "Do you think I want to be like this? Do you think it's easy to live this way? Watching people stare at you like you're some sort of freak ready to attack them? Do you?"
Hermione didn't say anything. She was too shocked to speak. She had never once in the four years of knowing him, seen him lose his temper like this.
"Do you?" he asked again, shaking her roughly.
She let out a whimper, scared he was going to strike her, when he pulled away. He walked over to his desk and slammed both his fists onto its surface.
"Dammit, Hermione!" he growled turning back to face her. "See what you do to me?"
He was shaking, face flushed, a manic glint in his eyes. She thought of running but knew the effort would be futile. Lupin's wolf instincts seemed to be in effect. No use testing them.
"Do you really think I'm a monster?"
His voice was low, deadly and she shivered despite the warmth in the room. When she didn't answer, he grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her into him. She struggled uselessly in his arms until he pushed her roughly from him and she fell into the desk behind her.
"What do you know? You're a child! You've been spoiled rotten and had nothing but a perfect life, perfect friends, perfect grades. You know nothing about how horrible life can be. You've never experienced it and probably never will. Poor little Hermione Granger, let's all feel sorry for her!" He sneered, actually sneered, and let out a loud hollow laugh but cut it short when he saw the tears slipping down Hermione's face and it was like something inside of him shifted.
"I hate you," she whispered, then turn and ran from the room.
He stood there staring at the door long after she had gone. What had he done? When had he become such a monster? Because Hermione was right, he was a monster after how he had just reacted. He sat down on his desk.
"This is wrong," he whispered. "So wrong."
*****
A golden ray of sunlight broke through the slit in the curtains to Hermione's four poster bed. She opened her eyes and watched the dust particles floating in the air. She wasn't really looking forward to seeing anyone, especially after last night. Did she really call Lupin a monster? She could still see the horrified look in his eyes, the way they flashed with such intense anger and hatred. She groaned and rolled over, burying her face in her pillow and pounded her fists into it a few times before closing her eyes and falling back asleep.
"Do you think she forgot?"
Ron was staring at the stairs leading up to the girls' dormitories as if he willed it enough, Hermione would come running down the stairs any second now.
The portrait hole opened and two giggling girls came bounding inside. "Hi, Harry . . . Ron."
Parvati was blushing furiously. Everyone knew she had developed a crush on Ron halfway through sixth year and still had it. Ron hadn't payed her much attention before or during the time he was dating Hermione, but once they broke up, Harry could tell he was developing something for the girl. Ron, of course, denied it.
The Weasley blush broke out and Ron's cheeks and ears turned a deep shade of crimson. "Parvati, hi. Have you seen Hermione? She's supposed to go to Hogsmeade with us but she hasn't come down from her room yet. Do you think . . . Maybe could you go up and tell her we're down here? Please?" he added with a huge grin. She smiled coyly, though Harry suspected she didn't really want to do anything involving Ron's ex-girlfriend, then ran up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. Lavendar, who had entered with Parvati, strolled over to Harry.
"Don't you think they'd make a cute couple?" She leaned her body into his as she said it.
Harry just smiled at her. He wouldn't deny the fact that Lavendar was a very pretty girl but he just wasn't attracted to her like that. She backed off when she realized she wasn't going to receive anything else from Harry then the swift "I guess" that he issued her and acted as if nothing had happened.
"Aren't your brothers going to be in Hogsmeade, Ron?"
"Yeah, we're meeting them down at The Three Broomsticks. You and Parvati could come along if you'd like."
Harry shot Ron a look but Ron purposefully ignored him.
"Oh, I wish you had asked earlier. We've already got plans to meet Ernie and Justin in front of the Shrieking Shack. Do tell the boys we said hi, though," Parvati said as she descended the stairs. "Hermione will be down in a minute. She's getting dressed." She was clutching a small bag in her hand. "See you later, Ron . . . Harry," she cooed, brushing up against Ron lightly as she made her way past him. Lavendar waved at Harry and the two girls left through the portrait hole, giggling again.
"What was that all about?" Harry asked, smirking.
"What? I thought if Hermione wasn't going, well, it'd be nice to have two cute girls around." Harry laughed.
"What's so funny?" Hermione asked as she stepped off the last step trying to smooth out the wrinkles in her shirt.
"Oh, nothing. Ron was just being, well . . . Ron."
"Oh." She grinned at Harry and he grinned back. Ron just rolled his eyes.
"When the two of you are done making fun of me, could we go? I promised to meet my brothers at noon and at this rate we won't have time to see anything beforehand." He headed off toward the portrait hole and the two followed. "So, what took you so long? You're usually punctual." Ron looked at Hermione questioningly.
"I overslept. That's all."
The trio headed into the entrance hall and after a brief delay by Filch, emerged into the sunlit morning ready for a day of shopping and fresh air.
The streets of Hogsmeade were a mass of giggling voices and smiling faces. In fact, it was the most crowded any of them had ever seen it. They looked at each other in awe but were otherwise quiet. It was the first time the three of them had set foot in Hogsmeade since the massive battle that took place in that very village less than half a year ago. They had skipped the last two Hogsmeade weekends because neither one of them wanted to revisit that spot, that place where the battle had culminated and ended in the final defeat of Voldemort.
Hermione snuck a glance at Harry and was shocked to see a complacent look in his face instead of the somber one she had been expecting.
They strolled down the main street, stopping to look in shop windows and talk to their friends. When they neared the road leading up to the Shrieking Shack, Harry started up the hill. Ron began to follow but a hand on his arm stopped him.
"Don't. He needs to be alone right now."
He nodded at Hermione and turned back to Harry. He had already reached the fence surrounding the property.
"Harry!" Ron called out. The other boy turned around. "We'll meet you at Honeydukes!"
Harry nodded and turned back to the shack. The two of them watched him for a moment and Hermione sighed. She knew he was thinking about that night they first met Sirius and found out he was Harry's godfather, the night he thought his life had changed for the better only to have it all shattered two years later. Hermione swallowed down the lump in her throat and turned to Ron.
"Let's go. I suspect Fred and George are waiting for us. Did they happen to mention why they're here-well aside from seeing you of course," she added quickly.
"No clue. But you know Fred and George, they've always got some trick up their sleeves."
No sooner had he said so then two bright red blurs ran straight into him, knocking Ron to the ground.
"Oh, sorry little bro. Didn't see you there." George Weasley reached out a hand and pulled Ron to his feet.
"Sure you didn't," Ron mumbled, rubbing his backside.
"Hey Mione, how have you been?" Fred slung an arm around Hermione's shoulder. "Ron's been treating you okay?"
"He's been great." She grinned at Ron.
"Really?" A sly smile crossed Fred's face. "Does this mean there's still hope for you two?"
"Let's hope not. I don't think I can take another year of bickering and then intense snogging from these two. As much as I love both of you, it was quite sickening really," Harry said, startling all four of them. Both Hermione and Ron blushed, taken a little off guard by his frankness.
"Hey, Harry!" The twins pounced on him, patting his back and ruffling his hair then leading him, Ron and Hermione on to The Three Broomsticks. As soon as they walked through the door a voice called out to them.
"Hey, guys! Over here!"
Angelina Johnson was sitting at a large table with six glasses of Butterbeer in front of her. She hugged the trio in turn when they reached the table and motioned for Harry to sit by her.
"So Harry, I hear Gryffindor's in the running for the Quidditch Cup. Only one more match left to go, right? With Ravenclaw?"
"Yeah, we're gonna flatten them."
"As much as I'd like to hear you two talk quidditch," Fred cut in. "We came here because we had something important to tell you all and it can't wait." He grinned at Angelina and she grinned back, reaching into her pockets to pull out three white envelopes, each with one of their names on it written in silver curly script. They eagerly opened them and unfolded the white pieces of blank parchment.
"Is this one of your jokes? There's nothing written on here." Ron asked.
"Just watch." It was Angelina this time.
Suddenly words began to appear out of nowhere in the same silver curly script that was on the envelopes.
"You're-but you-I mean . . . wow," Ron stammered stupidly.
"Congratulations!" Hermione was beaming.
"That's great! I'm so happy for you both." Harry leaned over and gave Angelina a quick hug.
"So who else is invited?" Ron asked once he had found his voice again.
"Well beside you three, Alicia, Katie, Wood, Tonks, Lupin, Moody and Kingsley, actually most of the people who were in The Order. Charlie's coming from Romania and Bill's coming too and Perce and Gin of course . . . Angelina's family. Mum said we should invite Dumbledore and McGonagall, oh, and Snape."
"Snape? What did you invite him for?" Ron was making a face.
"Because if it weren't for him, we wouldn't have come up with half the stuff we did for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and I wouldn't have been able to afford this." He picked up Angelina's hand and showed it to Ron where a perfectly sized diamond ring sat around her finger. "Anyway, Snape's really not that bad, you know."
"Sure," Ron mumbled.
"The three of you are coming, right?" Angelina asked. Hermione couldn't help but notice how happy she looked.
"Of course. We wouldn't miss it for the world."
The next couple of weeks passed in a blur of classes and mounds of homework. The closer they got to N.E.W.T.s, the more anxious the student body became.
"Here," Hermione handed rectangular pieces of parchment to Ron and Harry the second they plopped down on the couch next to her after the two grueling hours of quidditch practice they had just had. They took them without protest and stared at the extensive study schedules.
"Thanks, Mione," Ron muttered half heartedly. "I think I'm going up to bed. Coming, Harry?"
"Yeah. Goodnight." He brushed a hand lightly across her shoulder.
"Goodnight."
*****
The final match of the quidditch season had arrived-Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. Hermione climbed into the stands with the rest of the Gryffindors. It seemed everyone had turned out to watch the match. Even Snape, who didn't show up unless Slytherin was playing, was seated in the stands across from her, chatting animatedly with Professor McGonagall. With Harry, Ron and Ginny out on the quidditch pitch, she sat down next to Neville, Dean and Seamus and pulled out her omnioculars.
"And they're off," came Terry Boot's magically magnified voice. "Ginny Weasley with the quaffle. Weasley passes to McDonald-McDonald to Abercrombie then back to Weasley and she scores! Gryffindor leads ten to zero!"
Cheers erupted around her and she jumped up with the rest of the crowd. "Ravenclaw in possession and wait-Harry Potter has spotted the snitch!" A great "ooh" rose up from the crowd at the snitch being sighted only five minutes into the game. "Turpin's right on his tail and no! WATCH OUT, POTTER!" A bludger hit by Ravenclaw beater Stewart Ackerley narrowly missed Harry and half the crowd let out a sigh of relief. "And the snitch has disappeared."
Disappointed, the students sunk back into their chairs.
"Ravenclaw in possession. Boot speeding down the pitch. Stop him! He's heading toward the goal posts. Come on, Ron! Block him!"
"I'm sorry," came the soft voice in her ear.
"And keeper Weasley saves! Gryffindor still in the lead, ten to zero!"
The crowd sprang out of their seats around her but she didn't notice. Hermione had turned to the voice to find Lupin sitting next to her, tired and weary looking, the aftereffects of the full moon a couple of days ago.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "I shouldn't have grabbed you like that and said what I said. Please forgive me, Hermione. Please."
She stared at him. I'm sorry too, Remus. You're not a monster. I only said that because I was mad and it was a stupid thing to say. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, Remus. Please. But she didn't say it, couldn't. His words that night had hurt her so much that she could still hear them echoing in her head. She wouldn't accept his apology, not now, not ever.
Hermione turned away from him and settled her omnioculars in front of her face once more, concentrating on the pitch.
"Hermione . . . " She hear him call softly even through the noise of the crowd.
When she said nothing, he got up and left. She kept staring at the pitch through the omnioculars but now her eyes were closed. She knew if she opened them all the tears would come pouring out and she didn't want to explain to Neville why she was crying when Harry had just caught the snitch and signaling Gryffindor's win of the Quidditch Cup.