Hermione watched as Neville Longbottom stepped up to face the professor.
“Ready, Neville?”
Lupin’s voice was calming but the boy still gave a small whimper before nodding his assent.
“Imperio!”
A dazed look came over Neville as the dark spell took effect. At first it seemed he was giving in but a second later a determined look crossed his face, one Hermione had only seen the night he had faced Bellatrix Lestrange in the Department of Mysteries fifth year. The night that Sirius had. . .
She swallowed down the lump in her throat and watched Neville fight off the curse, eyes closing, lips moving silently. A loud growl burst from his throat before he broke through the trance screaming “NO ” at the top of his lungs. Lupin immediately pulled his wand away looking at the boy with something akin to admiration.
“Congratulations, Neville. You’ve just beaten the Imperius curse.”
The classroom erupted in applause and Neville was patted on the back by several students as he made his way back to his seat. Hermione turned to the boy now sitting next to her and squeezed his hand. Neville’s face turned pink as he smiled back at her.
“Miss Granger. . .your turn.”
Hermione got up gingerly from her desk and made her way to the front of the classroom, her nervousness betraying her when she tripped over the step that led to the raised platform where Lupin’s desk was. She heard snickers behind her but ignored them, knowing that she needed to put all her concentration into fighting off the curse. True, she had always been the closest to fighting it off aside from Harry (who had managed to beat it when it was placed on him by Voldemort), but since Lupin had come back into their lives during fifth year as an operative for The Order, she found that everything that involved him took a little more effort on her part to accomplish.
The underlying adoration she felt for him was frustrating. He was twice her age, her former teacher, but also something else. He was Remus. Calm, understanding, loyal Remus. The man whose eyes she couldn’t stop dreaming about, whose voice she could pick up even from across the room.
She’d berate herself when she awoke in the mornings, a dream-kiss lingering on her lips or when she’d find herself sitting in the library daydreaming instead of studying. She tried to tell herself that he wouldn’t be interested in her, that he saw her only as a child, a former student, nothing more and she truly believed it. But when she arrived at Hogwarts for this her final year, he was the last person she expected to see.
Her, Harry, and Ron had climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express searching for an empty compartment and opened one to find none other than Remus himself, fast asleep just as he had been the first time they met him third year. The three looked at each other in bewilderment then proceeded to shake him until he opened his eyes, smile wide on his face.
“Harry...Ron...Hermione...”
“What are you doing here?” “Are you our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher?” “We’ve missed you so much!”
He seemed amused at the questions being fired at him in rapid succession and put a hand up to silence them.
“Yes, I am. I’ve missed you all too.”
It was then Hermione’s heart gave a giant leap. Remus was back. And he was going to be teaching again.
“Ready Hermione?”
She nodded demurely and prepared herself for the mental invasion. A sense of extraordinary bliss came over her as she heard Lupin’s voice in her head.
Hermione, why don’t you stand on one foot for me. I’d really like that.
Instantly she complied, anything to keep him talking to her. To only her.
Now the other foot.
Once again, she did as he said.
Now hop from one to the other. A little faster, please.
She knew there was a silly grin spread across her lips, but she didn’t care. Remus was talking to her. Remus. I’ll do anything you want Remus, just tell me. I’ll do it.
The spell lifted and she was surrounded by the laughter of her classmates. Lupin just looked at her, confused.
“Hermione? Are you feeling alright?”
“I-well. . .yes, Professor.”
He opened his mouth to say something but the bell signaling the end of class drowned him out. When it stopped he spoke again. “Miss Granger, would you mind staying after class? I would like to speak to you for a minute.”
She nodded then headed back to her desk to pack up her books. When the class had emptied she walked back to his desk, heart pounding so loud she could have sworn Lupin could hear every beat.
“Hermione, is something wrong? You’ve never given in to Imperius so easily before. Is there something bothering you? Did you have fight with Harry and Ron?”
“No, Professor. I guess I’m just a little tired,” she lied.
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
“Okay. Well, you better get to class. I’m sure Snape won’t take kindly to you being late. If he does, tell me and I’ll have a word with him.”
“Thanks, Professor.”
“Oh, and Hermione? If you ever need to talk...”
“I know.” She smiled at him and headed out of the classroom toward the dungeons.
“Miss Granger, how nice of you to take some time out of your extremely busy schedule to join us.” Snape’s voice oozed sarcasm as he watched the Gryffindor hurry to her seat. “Would you care to enlighten us as to your previous whereabouts?”
Hermione looked him straight in the eye. “Professor Lupin asked me to stay after class,” she said confidently.
“Really? Well, I shall be sure to confirm that statement with him later.”
He stared at her a minute longer, lip curled up in an unpleasant smile then turned back to the blackboard. The ingredients for their potion appeared almost instantly when Snape waved his wand and he sat down behind his desk. Ron nudged her in her side.
“Hey, what happened to you?”
“Like I told Snape, Lupin asked me to stay after class.”
“No, I mean why did you just give in to the Imperius? You’ve never done it before. Is there something wrong?”
Any other day, she would have been fine sitting next to Ron, but today she wished she was sitting with anyone else, even Malfoy.
“Nothing’s wrong, Ron,” she said exasperated.
“It’s N.E.W.T.s isn’t it? You’re worried about them already, aren’t you? You’ve probably been studying too much. It’s three months away, Hermione. You need to–“
“Mr. Weasley ” Ron’s head snapped up to find Snape hovering over him. “This is a potions class, not a place to discuss the latest gossip with Miss Granger. Ten points from Gryffindor for Weasley’s incessant chatter.”
Ron buried his head in his notes and spent the rest of the class quiet. It was the first time Hermione was glad for Snape’s interruption.
The week passed in a blur of classes and homework, most of which sat idly on her night stand piling higher and higher as the week wore on. She would listen half-heartedly as Ron and Harry questioned her as to what was wrong and then suggested she go see Madam Pomfrey. They weren’t the only ones who thought she needed some rest time in the hospital wing. McGonagall cornered her after class one day and suggested she acquire a sleeping draft because she looked as if she hadn’t had sleep in a week, which was true. She barely ate either. Not because she didn’t feel well, more from that fact that whenever Lupin was in the room she couldn’t seem to make her fork find her mouth, which resulted in a bruised chin and stares from her classmates on her odd behavior. She even gave up taking notes in History of Magic, letting her mind wander to thoughts she knew she shouldn’t be thinking as she stared out at the Quidditch Pitch. But it wasn’t until her next Defense Against The Dark Arts class that even she thought about taking everyone’s advice and make an impromptu visit to the hospital wing.
They had been practicing hexes and Hermione was having an extremely hard time keeping them directly on target. She had been paired up with Neville but had only managed to hit him once with the seven hexes she threw. He blocked four but the other three hit Lavendar who was standing on the left side of Neville and she had to be sent up to the hospital wing after her nose swelled to the size of a basketball.
“Hermione, can I speak to you outside please?”
“Yes, Professor,” she replied nervously.
“Neville, why don’t you practice with Harry since Miss Brown had to go to the hospital wing,” Lupin told the boy before leading Hermione into the hallway.
“Hermione–“
“Professor, I didn’t mean to hex Lavendar. I’m sorry. It was an accident,” she spit out frantically.
“Hermione–“
“It’s just that I’ve been having some trouble sleeping and I guess I wasn’t paying attention which I know isn’t good but I really didn’t mean to–“
“HERMIONE!”
“Yes?” she squeaked out. She had never heard Lupin raise his voice before.
“I know. That’s not why I called you out here,” he said calmly.
“It’s not?”
“No, it’s not. I actually called you out here to discuss the possibility of having a few extra lessons with you in private. Your grades so far this year have been well below what I expect from one of my best students. I don’t know what’s going, Hermione, but I’m worried about you. I know how much doing well on the N.E.W.T.s means to you, but the way your grades keep slipping I don’t think you’d do much better than Mister Finnigan at this rate.”
Hermione stared pointedly at the floor. It was true, she needed the help badly if she wanted to catch up to the rest of the students. But spending more time in Remus’ presence would only make it worse right? Maybe not. Maybe if she got used to being around him it wouldn’t be so bad. At least she hoped so.
“How about tonight, eight o’clock? I really think it will help.”
“Okay.”
“Good. Now let’s get back in there and try not to give someone else a basketball for a nose.” He was smiling brightly at her and she couldn’t help but smile back.
“I’ll try, Professor. But I can’t make any promises.”
The rest of the afternoon inched by slowly with Potions seeming even longer than usual. She skipped dinner and headed back to her dormitory, collapsing on her four poster instead. Another hour and she would find herself face to face with Lupin again. She sighed heavily, grabbed her bag off the floor and headed off to the common room. She might as well try to get some studying done now while she had the chance. She’d never be able to concentrate later.
“Hermione,” Professor Lupin said looking up from his papers. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” she replied. So far this was going okay. She could do this.
“I thought we’d start out with a few simple spells and then work our way up to Imperius. Sound good?”
“Sounds great.” And it was. She started off shakily but got better the more and more they practiced. But when Lupin said they should try out the dark curse, she felt weak again.
“Imperio!”
The sense of bliss came over her and she didn’t want it to leave.
Hermione, act like a bird for me. Flap your wings.
She hesitated but gave in, the sound of his voice enough to make her not fight it.
He pulled his wand away and the feeling left. “Hermione, you’re not even trying. Please try and focus. I know you can do this.”
Once again he placed the spell on her but with the same results. A third, fourth, fifth time. Same thing. Both were getting tired now, the clock reading almost midnight.
“One more time, Hermione and then we’ll end this.”
“Remus. . .” Hermione uttered, a strange look crossing her delicate features before she fell to the floor, unconscious.
“Hermione. . .are you okay. . .say something. . .please. . .”
She opened her eyes to see Remus standing over her, worry in his eyes.
“Hermione, you’re okay.”
“What happened?” She tried to sit up but he placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down.
“Don’t try to move just yet. You fainted. Did you eat anything today?”
“A piece of toast at breakfast.”
“You really shouldn’t go skipping meals. It’s not good for you. You need to eat something. Here.” He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a bar of chocolate, breaking off a small piece which he handed to her. “Eat this.”
She sat up slowly and began nibbling on the chocolate. When she was done, Lupin began again. “Hermione, you had me so worried. Are you feeling a little better now?”
“Professor I–“
“Remus. You can call me Remus now. This isn’t really school hours and I think we’ve known each other long enough for you to call me by my first name.”
“Remus I . . .” It was then she noticed the lack of distance between them, how she could see the lines that had formed around his eyes over the past two years, the grey that streaked his hair and she knew it all had to do with Sirius.
“You miss him don’t you?” She didn’t know why she was saying it but she had to. “I miss him too.”
His eyes shifted for a moment, the sorrow and pain visible for a split second. “Yes. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, hand reaching up to brush the hair away from his forehead. “I know how much you cared about him.”
They stared at each other for a minute, an understanding passing between them before they both leaned forward, lips brushing lightly. It was a sweet kiss, delicate and soft and both lingering for a moment before pulling away.
Hermione pushed his hair back again before slipping off the desk. “I should go back now. I don’t want anyone to worry. Goodnight, Remus.” And she walked out of the classroom, heart silently screaming with pure joy.
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