The Hard Way:Part Three--Please Stay.You look so peaceful lying in that bed.Your eyes closed and your chest rising and falling in rhythm to the beeping of the machine beside you.I find it hard to believe that you could of tried such a thing.
But you did.We are friends, best friends.Why didn't you talk to me?Tell me what the problem was?Why try and kill yourself, Tomoyo-chan? I can't understand it.Nothing gets so bad that one should kill themselves because of it...right?Right? So...why did you do it?
But you won't answer me.You may never answer all of my questions. I wish that you would wake up. Just tell me what the problem is. I care about you so very much. Maybe even more than my dear Syaoran.
We have been best friends since long before Syaoran came in to my life. I thought that you could trust me. Confide in me. Obviously, I was wrong.
But I still care for you. I have always cared for you and I want you to know...I want you to know that I will always care for you.
Seeing you in that hospital bed pains me deeply. My best friend in the world lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a machine. Why did you do it, Tomoyo-chan? That question keeps repeating in my mind. It is not the question that bothers me, however...it is the fact that I may never get an answer...
I have replayed that message on our answering machine over and over, from the time Syaoran and I returned from our honeymoon in Tokyo. It was from Daidouji Sonomi, your mother. She could barely speak as she told us how she had found you on your bedroom floor in your new apartment and discovered you unconscious, slowly bleeding to death from self- inflicted wounds on both your wrists...
Syaoran drove me straight to the hospital and I have been right here by your side ever since. For five days now. I haven't eaten and have barely slept. I am so worried about you. I don't know what I will do if you never wake up... I will stay by your side until you do wake up. Even if it takes twenty years, I will never leave your side. That is how much I care for you, Tomoyo-chan.
Even my dear Syaoran cares about you. At this minute, he is over at your mother's place, comforting her. She is so grief stricken, that she has not been in to work in two weeks.Not since she found you.
No, do not get the wrong idea. Sonomi has been at the hospital since you were first admitted.But...but she was panicking. Sobbing. Screaming at the doctors and nurses to try and save you, that she was asked to leave for a few days. Syaoran drove her home yesterday. That is why she is not here with you now. That is why I am here with you. To watch over you.
Look, Tomoyo-chan. Even Touya has been to see you. He brought that lovely bouquet of Cherry Blossoms that now sit on the table beside you. That was sweet of him, wasn't it? So you see, you have many people who care about you. Even if you do not see it yourself.
My eyelids are heavy. I feel like sleeping, but I want to be awake in case you wake up... even though the doctors say that you may never wake up. But I refuse to believe that! As you know, I am stubborn. You will wake up, Tomoyo-chan.You just need some more time to rest.
Oh God. Did I see what I thought I saw? Let me look closer. Maybe it was my imagination. I am so tired that I am starting to hallucinate. But no! Your hand moved again!
I take my hands and cup them over yours and squeeze lightly. tears of joy stream from my eyes as I feel you squeeze back. It was very faint, but I know what I felt.
"Tomoyo-chan?" I say, hopefull that you can hear me.
Your eyes flutter open and slowly, you turn your head to look at me. You open your mouth to speak, but I rest a finger on yopur pale lips.
There is no need to say anything. Time for all of that later. For now, Tomoyo-chan, rest.
To Be Continued...home Part four