ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF JOKES!

Here's a variety of jokes. Some What If's and story jokes! You have a good joke, send it here and I'll post it!

WHAT IF'S

 
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip's Screwdriver?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put
your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why are croutons in airtight packages? It's just stale bread.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?

FunKy MiNd GaMe

(DONT CHEAT!)

PICK NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 10

MULTIPLY THAT NUMBER BY TWO...

ADD 8 TO YOUR NEW NUMBER...

DIVIDE THAT NUMBER BY 2...

SUBTRACT YOUR ORIGINAL NUMBER....

YOU SHOULD HAVE A NUMBER BETWEEN 1
AND 8...

TAKE THAT NUMBER AND MATCH IT WITH
YOUR CORRESPONDING LETTER....

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
A B C D E F G H

NOW TAKE THAT LETTER AND THINK OF
ANY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD THAT
BEGINS WITH THAT LETTER......

TAKE THE LETTER THAT COMES NEXT IN
THE ALPHABET (FOR EXAMPLE IF YOU HAD
THE LETTER B YOU WOULD NOW USE THE
LETTER C) AND THINK OF AN ANIMAL THAT
BEGINS WITH THAT LETTER...

NOW THINK ABOUT WHAT COLOR THAT
ANIMAL IS.......

NOW THINK ABOUT THAT COUNTRY,
ANIMAL, AND ITS COLOR VERY HARD
WHILE I RECEIVE YOUR MENTAL THOUGHTS
VIA AIRSPACE....


WAIT.....


SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG....

THERE ARE NO GRAY ELEPHANTS IN
DENMARK!!!!!!!!

AnoTheR FunKy MiNd GaMe

Just follow these instructions, and answer
the
questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!

Again, as quickly as you can, but don't advance until you've done each
of
them ... really.

Now, arrow down (but not too fast, you might miss something).....

What is: 1+5







2+4







3+3







4+2







5+1








Now repeat saying the number 6 to yourself as fast as you can for 15
seconds. Then scroll down.

QUICK!!! THINK OF A VEGETABLE! Then arrow down.













You're thinking of a carrot, right?

If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different
enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with carrot