Brian yawned as his eyes slowly opened. A peaceful and refreshingly cool wind was blowing through his sandy hair and there was the sweet smell of the salty ocean filling his nostrils. He smiled slightly and stared about the little boat. Opposite him the incompetent ‘wizzard’ Rincewind was using his hat as a pillow and in between both of them the Luggage had folded most of its little legs up and was quietly snoring. Brian blinked a few times as he stared at the wooden chest. It was definitely snoring! A few of its legs were fidgeting slightly as if it were dreaming of chasing something. A walking luggage… that would be so useful for Brian’s job. He hated having to carry a suitcase around with him all the time. It might even do a good job of chasing away all the obsessive fans that tried to attack him whenever he walked out the door. It might even be able to eat N*Sync… Their manager was always telling them to put a stop to the rivalry between them…

He stretched his arms out and stared above him to see the orange hued sky of sunset. He gasped slightly as he saw a huge double rainbow arching over them through the misty air, filled with the bright colours of the spectrum. Below them though were others colours that Brian had never seen before. He could not even describe them…

“Wow,” he whispered. “Where are we?” Had they drifted into some enchanted land? He smiled slightly. He preferred this much more to the werewolves.

He raised his head to stare at the water around them. It seemed to stretch into infinity, but they were fast being carried somewhere with the current. He frowned as he turned to see where they were headed.

There were a few rocks, but they did not seem big enough to cause any problems for their boat but there was something strange ahead. There were no trees or anything, just water, but the water appeared to suddenly stop as thought it were flowing over somewhere… like a waterfall…

“Rincewind!” Brian hissed. “Rincewind!” he turned and stared back at where the water appeared to be disappearing. It was a waterfall! “Rincewind!” He reached out and yanked the hat away from him so that the man’s head clonked hard against the back of the boat.

“Yes mum?” Rincewind said as he sat bolt upright and stared about him blearily. “Oh… you,” he said as he saw Brian. He yawned slightly and then began to make himself more comfortable again.

“Rincewind!” Brian said desperately.

The Luggage also now began to awaken. It seemed to stare about itself and Brian could have sworn that he saw it staring up at the rainbow before it started to beat its little feet against the bottom of the boat.

“Would you stop that?” Rincewind growled. “Some of us are trying to sleep!”

“B-b-but…” Brian stammered madly as he realised that the boat was beginning to move ever faster to the waterfall.

“What are you moaning about now? Have you stubbed your toe? You are such a whiner!” He suddenly raised his eyes and caught sight of the spectacular rainbow above them. “Hmmm, that looks like the rimbow…” he froze and then stared at Brian’s terrified face again. “Um, what’s behind you?”

“A waterfall!” Brian screamed, pointing frantically at the water.

Rincewind peered over his shoulder and then his face began to turn pale. “That my incompetent friend is not a waterfall.”

“Well what the hell is it then?” It certainly looked like a waterfall.

“The edge of the planet.”

Brian gasped slightly. What? There was an edge to this insane planet? This place got worse by the minute. “What? Planets are round! They don’t have edges!”

“What are you talking about? Worlds are flat and they have edges that idiot people can fall off!”

“That’s not possible!”

“It’s not possible to have a round world!” Rincewind retaliated.

The Luggage suddenly stamped onto Rincewind’s toes, causing the wizard to give a yelp before he grabbed an ore. “Good idea.”

“What do we do?” Brian panted frantically. He stared at the water again. Normally he loved swimming, but this was different. Was it really the edge of the world? What would happen to him then? He would be marooned in space instead of on a world.

Rincewind pointed to an ore. “Row!”

“We can’t row away! We’re going too fast!” Brian replied as he stared uselessly down at the ore.

“Well what do you suggest Mr. Whiner?” Rincewind asked. “Because I am out of ideas!”

“Use your magic!”

“I told you, I can’t!”

“Is there anything you can do?”

Rincewind took a long, deep breath before opening his mouth again. “We’regonnadie! We’regonnadie! We’regonnadie! We’regonnadie! We’regonnadie!” he gabbled.

Suddenly there was a strange humming sound that filled the air about them. Brian looked up curiously while Rincewind cowered in his hat. He raised his head and something that looked like a green doorway of light opening up just above the boat. He barely had time to frown before two dark haired men suddenly landed on top of him.

“Ow!” Brian cried, his entire body creasing in pain as something kicked a fragile part of his body. He felt his eyes beginning to water.

‘Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…’

“Woah, what happened?” a familiar voice said. “I thought that we were supposed to be with one of the others?”

“I dunno. The freak in the dress must have done something wrong. Damn that man”

AJ’s eyes travelled about the boat until he spotted Rincewind. “Hey , who are you?” he asked. “And what the hell is it with dresses? Everyone I’ve seen so far has been wearing a dress in this place!”

Rincewind blinked at him.

“Nice trunk man!” AJ added as he suddenly caught sight of the Luggage. “Bit old though.” He reached out and gave it an experimental kick with his foot.

The Luggage turned around and snapped at it.

“Woah, what the frickin’ hell is that?” AJ gabbled as he drew his knees up to his chest.

“I suggest you don’t touch it!” Howie replied. He also looked at Rincewind. “hey, have you seen any of our friends? Some wizard sent us here! We have to find ou friends and then keep still while he sends us home!”

Rincewind pointed at them both. “I think you might be sitting on him.” He blinked at them again, like the way in which a rabbit blinks at a fox which it thinks is going to eat it.

AJ looked between his legs. “Brian? Oh geez man I’m so sorry!” he said as he seized Brian and hauled him out from beneath him.

“You all right?” Howie asked.

“Mmumph,” Brian whimpered, still clasping a certain part of his body in his hands.

“What the hell? You got a problem down there or something?” AJ asked warily as he backed away, eyeing Brian’s crotch strangely.

Brian’s day was getting worse by the minute. He’d been attacked by a werewolf and know he had smashed one of the most important parts of his body and he was about to fly over a waterfall. Now his friends turned up to try and rescue him… great timing guys…

“I think we squashed him a little,” Howie said. He slapped Brian on the back. “You’ll be all right in a minute. Some guy is gonna help us to get home! All we have to do is to stay put for a few minutes and then we get sent home.”

Rincewind suddenly tossed an ore at Howie. “Would one of you two gentlemen like to help us row?” he asked.

Howie looked blank. “Why?” he asked. He suddenly caught Rincewind staring a something beside him. “Oh…”

“Shit,” AJ finished. “Staying put might be harder than we had thought…”


****************************

“Where are we going?” Nick asked, now properly seated on the horse just behind Kevin.

“I’m not sure. I wanted to find you guys. Binky seems to know where he’s going though. Kevin patted the white horse’s neck fondly.

Nick frowned at him. “Dude, it’s a horse! It doesn’t know where we’re going!”

“Yeah but this is Death’s Horse remember?” Kevin had finished recounting his experience in death’s domain to Nick but his friend refused to tell him anything about his own adventures.

Nick shook his head. “Kev, death rides a flaming stallion or a black horse of death or a skeletal steed. He does not ride a white horse called Binky!”

“Why would he want a flaming horse? It would set fire to everything!”

“But it’s what Death rides! Anyway, do you really think Death would let you steal his horse? When he catches up with you he’s gonna do something gross like pluck out your eyes or - ”

“And how is he going to follow us seeing as I stole his horse?” Kevin asked smugly. “What’s he going to ride? A donkey? A dragon?”

“How about a motorbike?” Nick asked quietly.

“Don’t be an idiot!” Kevin said. He rolled his eyes. Nick had a way overactive imagination.

“Why does everyone always accuse m of being stupid?” Nick whined. “I’m right! Look!”

Kevin sighed and turned his head and then froze. There was a motorbike flying through the air behind them. There was a black hooded figure upon it.

“Shit,” he breathed.

“See! See! I was right!” Nick pouted.

Suddenly Kevin heard that strange voice again. The voice that seemed to enter his head without passing through his ears.

STOP. I AM GOING TO HELP YOU. YOUR TIME IS ALMOST UP.

Nick pressed a finger into his ear and wiggled it about slightly. “Did you say something Kev?” he asked.

“That wasn’t me you idiot! That was him!” Kevin replied. “We have to find the others quick before he catches us!”

Nick frowned slightly. “But he said he wanted to help!”

“And you trust him? He wants to reap our souls!” Kevin said fiercely.

Nick snuck another look at the Grim Reaper behind them. “Yeah, he does look a bit shifty,” he agreed.

“You don’t sound very scared,” Kevin said suddenly. “Normally you’re real scared in situations like this.”

“Believe me, nothing, not even the Grim Reaper on a motorbike is as scary as some of the people I’ve just met,” Nick replied, shuddering slightly. He could still feel those wrinkly fingers squeezing his butt. “We need to move faster though. That bike is gonna be quicker than the horse!” He suddenly reached out and smacked the horse on the rump. “Gee up boy!”

“Er… Nick?” Kevin began. “You shouldn’t - ”

Binky gave a neigh and then suddenly he began to move much faster. Kevin screwed his eyes shut in fear while Nick waved his hands in the air. “Yeah, this is more like it! Up yours, Grim Reaper man!” He stuck his fingers up at Death.

“Nick, don’t antagonise Death. What have I told you about doing that to people before. Next time I’m gonna - ” Kevin stopped as he felt his stomach lurch horribly inside of his chest. Binky had begun to descend over an ocean.

“Uh, What’s he doing?” Nick asked. “We’re gonna hit the water!”

“I don’t know,” Kevin said uncertainly. He gazed ahead and frowned. “Is it me or does the water sop just there? It looks like a waterfall only there’s nowhere for the water to fall…” He thought back to the image he had seen in Death’s home. The world had bee flat. Had the reached the end of the world?

“We’re about to get a closer look,” Nick said slowly. “We’re heading for that fall!”

“Wait there’s a boat there,” Kevin added a she pointed at a tiny fishing boat that looked as if it might fall over the fall at any moment.

“I swear that I’m gonna cook this horse and eat it if it dares to try and drop us on that boat! We’d drown! It’s about to go over the fall!”

Binky gave another snort as he began to hurtle downwards at an even faster pace. Even Nick began to scream now as they found they were almost travelling vertically. The wind stung Kevin’s eyes but he still turned his head to glance behind them. Sure enough, Death was following them…


*************************************

“Faster, faster, faster!” AJ screamed. “We’re gonna go over!”

“Ya think?” Brian replied sarcastically.

Rincewind and Howie had the ores and were desperately trying to steer the boat away from the ‘rimfall’ as Rincewnd called it. It was the edge of the world. All the water poured into space. Brian had tried to point out that it wasn’t possible because the discworld would run out of water because so much was being wasted over the fall, but Rincewind had just waved the comment aside simply saying that ‘arrangements’ were made.

Brian and AJ were now using their hands to help propel them away from the endlessly falling water. Brian doubted if it would do any good, but it was better then just sitting and screaming uselessly in the blind hope that it might actually do some good for once.

The water was beginning to turn into the white froth that hinted that they were ominously close to the waterfall. Brian raised his head and swore. They were only a few metres away from the edge… oh God he hated heights…

“I didn’t even know choirboy knew words like that,” AJ said as he furiously and vainly used his hands to try and steer them away. Behind him the Luggage was pattering nervously about the boat and stepping on everyone else’s toes.

“We’re gonna die!” Brian screamed. “I’m allowed to swear in situations like this!”

“It’s your fault! If I hadn’t have run into you, I wouldn’t be in this mess!” Rincewind complained.

“Me? This is my fault?” Brian asked. “The boat was your idea!”

“Guys!” Howie cried. “We have to stay still! Ponder said that he won’t be able to send us home if we don’t keep still and - ”

“You wanna keep still?” Rincewind asked. “How the heck can we do that when there’s a current? And what about me? You guys may be getting rescued but if I’m dying then I’m taking you guys with me!”

“You are such a coward!” Brian cried.

Rincewind bowed. “And damn proud!”

“We can’t get rescued though!” Howie wailed. “We have to keep still and we have to wait like twenty minutes!”

Brian raised his arms to the sky. “We need a miracle!”

“Oh lord, please don’t start praying,” AJ muttered.

At that moment there was a loud neigh from above them and a white horse suddenly bucked two people from its back before cantering off across the sky. The two men it had dislodged fell through the sky and landed on top of Brian again. Brian gave a squeal as another foot connected with an already tender part of his body.

“Nick! Kevin!” AJ cried.

“I feel like I’m the odd one out here,” Rincewind muttered. “That’s the last time I ever save someone! It could at least rain naked women instead of men!”

“Guys!” Nick cried eagerly. He caught sight of Brian below him. “Brian, thank God!” He wrapped his arms about his friend and gave him a huge kiss on the cheek.

Brian blinked at him. “Mmmumph?” he asked.

“Just pleased to see ya that’s all!” Nick grinned. “Now, how do we get…”

“What the heck is that?” AJ asked suddenly. “It looks like a flying bike or something!”

Both Kevin and Nick spun around in horror. Coming through the clouds towards them was the black cloaked figure of Death on his motorcycle.

“It’s Death!” Nick gasped.

“Dead? Who’s dead?” AJ asked curiously, his hand shielding his eyes as he stared up at the sky.

“Death you idiot!” Nick shrieked. “The Grim Reaper! He’s chasing us and wants to kill us!”

“What?!” AJ cried. “And you brought him to us? You’re good friends aren’t you?”

Howie gasped. “The defeater of empires? The swallower of oceans? The thief of years? The ultimate reality? The harvester of mankind?” His brown eyes were even huger than normal until they looked as if they might pop out of his head.

“What are you gabbling about?” Nick asked. “It’s Death1 the dude with the black cloak and the scythe and he’s after us! Kevin knows! He has these hourglasses with our names on and when the sand runs out.” He mimed having his throat cut.

Rincewind covered his face with his hands. “I really chose the wrong guys to hang out with!”

“What do we do?” Howie asked frantically. “What do we do!”

Kevin glanced about them anxiously. “Maybe we could - ”

“We’re gonna fall!” Brian suddenly screamed.

They were on the verge of the waterfall that would carry them off the edge of the world. They began to move slower like the rise up to a roller coaster drop… everyone suddenly began to scream.

Brian hid behind Nick as he felt the tip of the boat going over the edge. They were doomed. He raised his head just in time to see the Death man as he pulled the bike to a halt above them. He opened his hand to reveal five hourglasses. Their names were engraved upon them and there was nothing left at the top…

YOUR TIME IS UP.

They fell…

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