39: WORRY
Kevin paced about the waiting room nervously. He had been pacing since a doctor had shown them to the room and it was making Nick more and more anxious by the minute. Why hadn’t anyone told them what was happening? Brian could be dying in surgery for all they knew! No, he couldn’t think like that… he WOULDN’T think like that.
40: PANIC ATTACK Brian felt sick. All around him there was a suffocating blackness. He could feel the soreness of his head. For a moment, a brief spasm of fear filled him. Was he still in the water?
He gasped slightly as he remembered those icy splashes of salty water burning his skin… But he wasn’t in the water anymore. He was in this new place. Safe.
Howie was sat beside him, hid head in his hands. Why had this happened to them? Brian did not deserve to die in surgery, he had been through so much already.
The door opened. Everyone looked up expectantly and Kevin ceased his incessant pacing, but it wasn’t a doctor. Brian’s mother entered, looking extremely worried.
“Jackie,” Howie said. “Have you spoken to the doctor? Brian’s in surgery…”
“I know,” she replied. “Has there been any news on him?”
Howie slowly shook his head. “We haven’t heard anything since we got back.”
Nick saw her shoulders sag. She sat down beside them.
“How long has he been in there?”
“Not long,” AJ said. “About half an hour?”
Half an hour? Had it really only been thirty minutes? It felt like they had been waiting forever. A sudden thought struck him.
“Does anybody know what they did with Sammy?” Nick asked.
“He’s sleeping,” Jackie said. “I just left him. I’ll have to go back in a minute. The poor baby’s terrified.
”
Nick slowly ran his fingers through his blond hair. He thought he’d had it stressful when he was thirteen but it was nothing compared to what had happened to Sammy. What kind of a father would put his son through such an ordeal? Pete didn’t deserve Sammy. Brian did.
“Is he okay? I mean, apart from being frightened?” Nick asked.
“He’s got pneumonia,” Jackie said, after a moment’s silence. “But the doctors say he’ll recover. It would have been much worse if Brian hadn’t of gotten him out of the water. Sammy wouldn’t have survived.”
“Brian loves him,” Nick said.
“Jackie nodded. “I know, and if anything happens…” Her voice choked slightly in a sob.
“He’ll be okay,” Kevin said gently. “Brian’s a fighter. He’s proved that.”
Jackie dabbed her eyes with a tissue. “I’d better get back to little Sammy. I promised I’d stay with him.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Kevin asked.
“No, it’s all right,” Jackie replied. “I’ll be fine. Harold will be here soon, can you tell him where I am?”
“Sure thing,” Kevin replied.
Jackie turned slowly and Nick watched her go with a heavy heart. No matter how bad it was for him, it was much worse for Jackie. She had seen her son in hospital more times than any parent deserved to.
As she walked out, a doctor hurried into the room.
“Mrs. Littrell?” he asked, stopping her with his arm.
“Yes?” she replied anxiously. Nick saw the concern and fear in her eyes. He stood up and all of the others stared at him, hoping, praying for him to say the words they so badly wanted to hear.
“Your son’s condition is stable,” he said. “There’s was more internal bleeding than we originally thought but we’ve managed to stop it.”
“He’s okay?” she said smiling.
The doctor nodded. “He’s very weak, but he’s alive. Your son’s a fighter it would seem.”
Kevin exchanged a grin with AJ. Nick found that he was almost trembling. He was okay… he was alive…
“I – is he awake?” AJ asked hopefully.
The doctor shook his head. “No, and he probably won’t be for several hours. He’ll need a lot of rest and we will have to keep him in for quite a while. He swallowed a lot of water and he already has an infection with his breathing system.”
“Is it serious?” Jackie asked.
“We got to him just in time,” the doctor said. “It can be treated, but like I said, he needs time. The worst is over, but there are still more problems that could arise.”
“Like what?” Nick asked, his joy beginning to sink inside of him.
“More infections and, of course, we’ll need to keep an eye on his heart.”
Nick nodded and gulped, remembering the last time Brian had been in for heart surgery.
“Will he recover?” Howie asked.
“We hope so, but we have to try and prevent any other infections from occurring.”
“We hope so?” AJ said. “Does that mean that there is still a chance that he may not recover?”
The doctor took s deep breath. “We’ve got him through the worse. Few people would have survived what he went through.” He looked hard at them all. “I won’t lie to you, there is still a chance that we could lose him.”
Nick put his head in his hands and sat back down. It could not be happening. Not to Brian.
“Can I see him?” Jackie asked.
The doctor nodded. “Of course, but I don’t want all of you going up there. It’ll be too crowded.”
“You go with her, Kevin,” Howie said.
“Thanks,” Kevin said.
Nick nodded. It was only fair. Kevin was his cousin, but he wanted to see Brian and make sure he was okay himself… His worry for his best friend must have shown because Kevin patted him on the shoulder.
“You can go see him when I get back, hey Nick?” he said.
Nick nodded gratefully and then looked up at Jackie. “Do you want me to go and sit with Sammy?”
“Would you?” Jackie said.
“Sure. Is that okay, doctor?”
The doctor nodded. “I guess so.”
They all left the room together and then split off along the corridor. AJ looked through a window into a room.
“This one,” he said, seeing the small blond child fast asleep.
Nick entered first and sat down beside Sammy’s bed. He was tossing and turning and moaning slightly.
“It’s okay,” Nick said gently. He stroked Sammy’s face until he calmed down a little.
“Daddy?” he murmured in his sleep. He gave another whimper and then fell still.
“Poor kid,” Howie said.
“Yeah,” Nick replied. “He’s so sweet.”
“He’ll be all right. He’s a fighter, just like Brian,” AJ said.
“They need each other,” Nick said. “What are we gonna tell him about Brian when he wakes up?”
“Just tell him Brian’s sick. It’ll be easier,” AJ replied.
Suddenly the door swung open and the doctor re entered.
“Sorry to disturb you, but there’s a police officer here o see you all.”
“Harsen?” AJ asked.
“That’s the one. There’s a woman from some foster home with him. They need to talk to you about Brian and Sammy.”
His head still hurt a little and his throat was sore, but he felt better. He was lying on something soft. The warmth enveloped him and protected him from the cruelties of the waking world. He allowed his mind to drift. He had room for dreams again now that he was not on the verge of death anymore. Or was he dead? Was this the afterlife? No, it couldn’t be. Not with his head still complaining.
He tried to move an arm. It felt heavy. He felt tired. He didn’t want to move. He twitched his fingers slightly and then felt a light pressure as another hand was placed atop of his fingers. The hand was warm so Brian let it remain there. He knew he was not alone in this dark world.
He lay there for a short while, listening to his own natural breathing, he could feel the comforting rhythm as his heart beat away in his chest. How far away he was from that exhausting time in the sea now… But the memories were faint now. He only remembered them as fuzzy pictures. The emotions, however, lingered in his mind a little longer. The fear was still inside of him. Was he truly safe here? He wondered if he would ever feel completely safe anywhere again.
A sudden vision invaded his mind. Dark eyes filled with a cold hatred. A steel blade only centimetres from his throat. He winced slightly. Then he was beneath the waves. The coldness filled his entire body making him shiver all over. It hurt to breathe. There was no air. He began to take deeper breaths but still his lungs were not relieved. There was no air. Only the water that ran down his throat…
He felt his body beginning to choke. He wanted the water out of his body, he wanted to breathe again…
He wasn’t in the water. He knew he wasn’t in the water but he still could not breathe. He choked and coughed horribly. He heard his own moans of fear as they escaped his terrified lips. He could not open his eyes. He could not wake up.
A hand was pressed against his forehead. Pete? Was he here to torture him even more? He squealed and tried to wriggle away. His heart was racing in his chest. The sound of it hammering so fast and hard made him feel sick. Was he dying?
“Brian!” The voice was anxious, scared.
He knew that voice. He recognised it and loved it. He wanted to wake up and be in the world where that hand was. There would be no icy water there to torment him.
There was a loud buzzing noise that filled his ears. An alarm? He had to get out, he had to get away from here…
He was still coughing and fighting for breath. His hand was being squeezed.
“Brian, wake up! Come on, Baby Duck! I’m here!” the voice was sobbing now.
He wanted to reach it. He tightened his fingers about the hand and tried to pull his mind from the awful reality it had locked itself in.
Then there was footsteps and loud voices. The hand was wrenched from his own and he cried out in fear.
‘Don’t leave me! Please, don’t leave me alone here! Mommy, I’m scared!’
He felt a mask placed over his mouth. His eyes opened and he looked about in terror as nameless faces peered down at him and held the horrible thing over his mouth. He gulped and felt the air rush into him.
“You’re okay, Brian. Just breathe.”
He received the air the mask gave him and closed his eyes again. Sleepiness began to wash over him again. He didn’t want to sleep, he wanted to wake up. he had to wake up. then the face came to him… Sammy. He had a baby to look after.
‘Don’t let me fall back to sleep! Let me wake up! He needs me! I’m scared I won’t wake up again! Let me see my baby! Don’t put me to sleep!’
But no one heard his silent pleas.
***************************
Sammy felt a little better as he wiped the dry, sticky sleep from his eyes. He sniffled slightly and pulled the blanket close to him. His throat hurt whenever he was cold. He lay back down and then realised who was beside him.
“N – Nick?” he asked.
“It’s me.” He replied. “AJ and Howie are here too.”
Sammy smiled and then it faded. “Where’s Daddy?”
“He’s sleeping. He needs rest like you do. His mom’s with him.”
“Did the opo… opie…”
“Operation?” Nick said. “He had it and he’s going to be just fine.”
“Good,” Sammy replied sleepily.
Brian was safe. That was all that mattered. He smiled to himself. Soon, he would be home again. Now he had a family that loved him.
AJ patted him on the head. “How you feeling?”
“Sleepy,” Sammy replied.
“Yeah, you’ve been through a lot, huh?” AJ said. “You’re a brave boy though aren’t you? Brian’s so proud of you.”
Sammy smiled again. He hoped Brian was proud of him. That was what he wanted. Brian… his daddy. He missed him.
“Can I see daddy?”
“You’ll see him soon,” AJ replied after a moment or two.
“Can we go home soon?”
Nick pulled the blanket around him. “Just go to sleep, hey?”
Sammy nodded and snuggled back into the pillow. He gave a small yawn and then allowed his eyes to close.
Nick waited for a few minutes until he was certain Sammy was fast asleep. He turned to AJ. “Coward,” he said.
“Me? You could have told him! Why do I have to?” AJ replied.
Nick had tears in his eyes. “How are we supposed to tell him?”
“Wait until he’s better,” Howie suggested. “Then we can tell him the whole story. Maybe he’ll understand.”
“He’s five years old, Howie! How’s he supposed to understand!” Nick snapped.
“Shush, Nick!” AJ warned. “Do you want to wake him?”
Nick looked at the sleeping child. He looked like a little angel with his blond hair and he looked so happy…
Did he have any idea that his world was about to shatter again?