Four hundred million dollars is nothing. Sure, we could build two hospitals with it, but then we'd have to maintain them at ludicrous expense. And yes, we could build 20 schools, 10 theatres, a cancer research institute and a very fast train between Melbourne and somewhere warm. But then we'd just be smart, cultured, healthy people travelling to a place where the coffee is crap.
The outcry over the Federal Government's GST propaganda campaign has so far run along standard lines. The PM has told us, in the coy tone he uses for his disingenuous moments, that the campaign is "educational". Big Kim, in the emulous voice he uses to prove he's a tough guy, has declared the whole thing a sham, a deceit, a waste of money. The rest of us have sat chewing Lean Cuisines like cows chewing cud, soaking up the ads and wondering what Joe Cocker was thinking. The central qualm we have is that the money could have been better spent. And so it could.
Look at it this way. If you remain, for the majority, largely ignorant of the GST's nooks and crannies and the new Pay-As-You-Go-To-Jail-Do-Not-Collect-$200 system, what's the worst that can happen? You'll get an audit by the nice person from the Tax Office. The auditor will go through your books, do your sums for you and tell you what you owe the government. You'll pay it, maybe with a bit of a late fee.
One thing is certain. Unless you're a billionaire or a crook (note how I made the polite distinction), any fine you cop will be less than the cost of enlisting the services of a professional accountant. The cost of hiring enough tax auditors to cover the nation's small businesses in year one would be a lot less than $400 million. (All figures checked by a university-trained guesswork specialist.)
Sure, if we followed by my plan, a handful of traitorous actors would lose a lucrative ad gig and the nation's media owners would drop about $100 million each, but I can't see tears rolling for either group, can you? The actors should know better than to tarnish their careers with an endorsement of something as popular as an Amanda Vanstone skinflick, and the two Kerrys are busy hiding the dough they've made from all the other government campaigns on the air.
And what a lot of campaigns there have been! Josef Goebbels would have dirtied his jodhpurs if his short-arsed master had given him the kind of money our governments spend on keeping us in line. We may scoff at the vast banners showing joyous Chinese workers pecking out a future with their pick-axes, calling them Propaganda, wondering how the workers of that proud nation could fall for such cheesy brainwashing. Yet, an objective glance at any ad break on any Aussie TV network will show countless proddings from our governments. For "proddings" read "Propaganda".
Change the wording and you'll get the point:
"All good citizens must drive within the speed limit to achieve Safe Roads for the People! Those who disregard the Greater Good by speeding will be dealt swift justice! They shall be jailed! They shall be called 'bloody idiots'! All praise the steady driver!"
"Our Senior Citizens and War Heroes deserve Respect in their autumn years! Listen to their stories!"
"A Good Worker is a Safe Worker!"
"Let us squeeze the lungs of Smokers and revile the contents! Stop Smoking, Citizens!"
"Gambling is necessary for our State's finances but if a Worker finds they are betting over their head, they should contact a government agency! Immediately! Immediately!"
"Before sexual intercourse, Male Workers must put condoms over their Little Workers!"
"All Workers should exercise - Be In Life!"
And on it goes. Teach your children to drive properly, don't drink while you do it, ensure your business is safe for your workers, pay your super and thrive, get your boobs checked, eat your daily requirement of calcium.
These are all worthy sentiments. (In fact, the only dangerous messages are in the non-smoking commercials, I reckon. By assuring us that each cigarette is doing us damage, the psychological connection between smoking and ill-health is strengthened, making smokers believe they will get cancer. As any cancer specialist will tell you, if the mind thinks it, the body manifests it. Perhaps the slogans on the ciggie packets should be more accurate: "Smoking kills, sure, but it doesn't kill everyone." But this is a side issue.)
Propaganda only fails if the target knows it's Propaganda. If we think it's simply a worthwhile sentiment aimed at others, not a government driven initiative to change the way we think, the way we act, the way we see others, then we'll have no problem with it. Yet, if we see the big fat hand of the Government pressing our buttons, we'll jack up.
Which is what's wrong with the "Unchain My Heart & Give Me A New Tax Instead" campaign. As sexy as the sight of grannies at lawn bowls bound in chains may be for Mr Howard, it doesn't work for All Of Us. Had he chosen a campaign that doesn't pretend to be doing us any favours, a campaign that was, in fact, purely bare-bones, bone-dry "educational" we might have copped the bill without complaint. By trying to make us identify on an emotional level with the grannies, he employed a technique normally reserved for flogging stuff people actually want.
Before you complain that $400 mill is too much to spend on GST thought-correction, remember that $400 mill is small change as far as our state and federal Propaganda bills are concerned. Yes, the GST campaign has splurged the annual tax bills of 10,000 average Australians, but that's chicken feed.
Chin up, Workers! Just thank God we're not at war!
