It seemed like forever, but after months of carefully unwrapping all the laces, ribbons and wrappers from this gift, I finally got to the contents.
Surprisingly, inside the box we find a rock.
I refuse to believe that it is nothing but a simple rock. I believe there is a precious gem embedded in the middle of this rock. There is no clear estimate on how long or hard it would be until the gem is extracted but once it is, it would hold a treasure unlike any other. Then again, it could just be some fossilized insect.
Let's not get our hopes up too high just in case, but am sure as hell not stopping at the sight of a rock.
In the past, gifts like these were easily opened in a span of a few weeks (days even), never taking more than a month. Something like instant noodles. Just add hot water. Stir and wait for 3 minutes. Unfortunately, as fast at it was to unwrap these (wonderful?) gifts, the faster is was for them to just disappear.
Never in my life have I actually worked for anything to happen. Everything so far happened instantly or with me grabbing on a log and going with the flow of the mighty river. Education. School. Videogames(???).
If this has to be first time I actually have to work for something I truly want, then so be it.
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Where should we start?
Let's organize this so I'd be starting from the top.
The Hair. I haven't had a haircut (read: shave) since late January and my hair is starting to grow to a length which sticks up after a ride on the morning jeep. Very unmanageable. Sticking it up with gel would not work as the wind would ruin it plus fixing hair with gel is such a task. Not that I actually fix my hair with gel properly but rather on the fact of washing it off before going to bed. Add the summer heat, and another haircut seems inevitable. Also there is this damn scalp itch which could also be heat related. I wonder if I'd have the time to have one this weekend.
The Brain. Certain questions have been answered. Some have not. Some of which that have been answered involve why Volume II of the Clone Wars mini-saga just disappeared. Seems like it is only until Episode 25. There will be a marathon on Saturday over at Cartoon Network for the whole mini-saga itself. On the other hand, we should get at least updates if not answers to the other questions by tomorrow.
The Teeth. I have not been to the dentist in ages. Not that any of my teeth are actually aching but we had been told ever since that one should visit a dentist at least twice a year. I am failing that miserably.
The Chest. Wait. WTF? Last time I heard my ribs said they are parting ways saying they won't protect this heart I have. Oh, what can I do. My lungs are breathing open air. My spleen is dripping from my pants. Ooops. Sorry, got carried away by such a wonderful song. Nothing much to be said about the chest area. Heart still beats at a normal rate. Lungs still work which have been verified by the frequent deep sighs. Short deep breaths which indicates a very tense feeling.
The Thing In My Pants. Something in my pockets actually. Am almost out of credits with is pretty amazing as no one messages me anyway. The last statement made no sense at all. What the hell does receiving messages have to do with losing credits? Am just being persistent and making my presence felt while you, you know. Anyway, it has been close to a month already so that's money well spent.
The Irritated Spot on My Knee. There is stupid itch on my left knee which simply won't go away. It has been there for days now. It's not a wound or anything but I have been scratching it which would be the reason why it does not go away. Scratching feels so good especially when blood starts flowing out at which point one should pour alcohol over it. Relaxing.
The Feet. They now take less time before they start to ache. Maybe they are complaining for a new set of shoes. Next paycheck maybe before someone gets the chance to the borrow the money.
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This is simply pathetic. No one wants to talk about it, nah, it's more like hear it. The same old whining from a paranoid and insecure little boy who never listens to begin with. Sick. Just sick.
Everything seems to be going downhill when I am left all by myself. For those who are actually concerned, don't fret, SIP would be the least of your worries.
A change of atmosphere at work, finally got some much needed breathing room. An OK day by my standards. By mine, you should know the standards would be pretty high.
The temperature is so bloody hot and summer has only begun. How long do we have to put up with this heat?
Oh yes, there is the rainy season to look forward to. If the heat now is this intense, one could only imagine the kind of typhoons we'd be getting come July. Sheesh. This gives a whole new reason for leaving this country.
There are some reasons though that may compel one to stay.
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For the last two days the calls at work have been queuing like crazy. One would be lucky to hit 30 minutes of avail time during the day and that usually comes at the end of the shift. This is no good. Hopefully, there would be some breathing room tomorrow as more teams are plotted since it is already a weekday in the US.
**Poof.**
There goes the hopes of getting promoted again, thanks to metrics that are not entirely in our hands. Now that I have finally master my two major AFI's (not A Fire Inside, okay?), they introduce a new metric. Thank you very much. We've only got a few more months but we'll try to make this happen. It would be nice if so but not entirely necessary.
In comparison, this day was way better. The ride home was not as bad as yesterday's. Maybe I had the volume on the MP3 player a little on the loud side. Or maybe the things that happened throughout the day unconsciously soothed my inner demons.
Anyway, just three more work days left. **Inhales deeply.**
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Two days ago, I was paranoid about going back to work. Yesterday, I calmed down a bit for some obscure reason called a positive attitude. Today, I found out that it was not that bad after all.
Or so it seemed.
The mood suddenly changed when I was alone going home. I found myself walking the same way a year ago, with my head down, as low as the bloody ground almost. If I accidentally bumped into any of you (which is very unlikely), I apologize. I knew it was pathetic and all, but I couldn't simply lift my head up. Boy, talk about confidence issues.
On the jeepney ride home, I did not sleep. Come to think of it, I rarely sleep in moving vehicles unless I am drop dead tired. Sure it was hot as hell and my sweat was dripping already, but I was just staring into nothingness. Thank goodness there were no puking kids this time.
Thursday and The Last Prophets loaded on the MP3 player hardly helped at all. Then Buried Myself Alive by The Used was played. If you know the song especially the first part, you get the picture. I bought the MP3 player for this main reason, so my thoughts would not drift away into oblivion. I believe it is the first time it failed that much.
This is no good. If this continues, I'd be once again sucked in the state I have so desperately tried to climb out for the last XX years. Sure, we should not take it personally as these things do happen and there are reasons for everything.
Besides, this is all my fault for wearing my fragile and badly bandaged-up heart on a chain around my neck for everyone to see. Hmmm, wanted to use heart on my sleeve, but I believe I have already heard that somewhere.
As I arrived at home early (no OT for me), I decided to hear mass. This is the first time since I have been going back to church that I have gone without anyone telling me to do so. I don't feel comfortable yet going to mass by myself, thankfully I asked my mom and she agreed to hear mass as well.
There maybe an ulterior motive for this, but I prayed like I have not prayed before for anything in my life. Despite how bleak the future maybe, this one is too hard, too special to simply give up on.
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Amazing. I have heard Tycho of Penny Arcade raving about this game ages ago. I just bought a copy of the game last Thursday. It fortunately worked on my PS2 like a gem.
Katamari Damacy is simply awesome. It is amazingly simple but highly addictive and amusing.
The concept of the game involves rolling a small ball through items which stick on it. Eventually, the ball will get bigger and you can pick up larger objects. I love how people scream when you pick them up. It is also amazing to see the level change as it zooms out to accommodate the larger size of the ball.
The story may be simplistic but the rest is just great. The sound track, the cute graphics.
Too bad the game is too short. I finished the game in less than a day. Will be playing the game more later, looking for hidden treasures I may have missed. My thumbs are aching already but that won't stop me.
Shit. As I read through webpages and blogs, I can see a small ball rolling past each letter I read. Addictive. Katamari Damacy 2 is already in the works. Wippee!
Speaking of addiction, I watched Requiem For A Dream again. I wish I bought Pi together with it.
Am starting to watch those DVDs again so I can get my moneys worth. Am not saying that they are in an way bad films, if I went to great lengths to acquire copies of them, I might as well make the most out of them. If my thumbs start aching from too much Katamari Damacy, I'd prolly watch Pirates of the Carribean, Fight Club, or Donnie Darko.
Despite what had been said already, I am trying to keep a positive outlook on things without keeping my hopes up too much. I guess this is just for the best and everything may work out in the end. Else, expect another miserable/confused post.
Right positive outlook eh? Currently, my MP3 player is loaded with songs from Taking Back Sunday and Yellow Card. While playing Katamari Damacy, I left the PC on the whole day downloading songs from Funeral For A Friend. So Emo.
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Goodness!
It's a gift for crying out loud! You'd never know what's inside until you open. This gift though has a mess of laces and ribbons not to mention the layers of wrapper which easily gives the gift another few inches.
So don't be bloody surprised on how things turned out.
Anyway, you shouldn't have expected smooth sailing in opening it as you'd never know what's truly inside.
After removing a wrapper, *poof* a sudden change of emotion. One that is not welcome in this house anymore, paranoia.
You may have made a mistake pulling on the lace or removing one wrapper, but it could also be caused by the wrapper being confusing as it is. So please, try not to be paranoid about the whole thing.
I know that blaming yourself is your way of not hating the person at fault, but it's too early for that.
Besides, you should have known what you were getting into from the start.
This sudden change could be a sign of something fabulous but it could also be something not necessarily disastrous, say disappointing instead.
Whichever way it would go, am glad that I finally had the courage of opening this gift. Believe me, it's worth it. Just don't get your hopes too high up as you should know by now what happens when you do.
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Yes, back to work tomorrow and I have never been as excited as I am now. Nothing feels better than helping a customer out with problems with his stupid computer. The feeling of resolving a customer's issue over the phone is simply overwhelming. It just makes you feel so much better about yourself.
Being sick, like I said, is no fun especially if it is unplanned. Add to that the scorching heat from the sun and the whole global warming thing, and you have the perfect formula for an entirely boring stay at home.
Personally, if the travel time to and from work was not close to 2 hours, I'd be better off going to work during those days I missed. Unfortunately, the travel thing itself is the most strenuous thing about work.
Work itself has become so much of a routine that I hardly consider it draining at all. After close to two years, am pretty comfortable with what I have to do despite the stupid changes in the metrics they require us to meet for promotion and for performance assessments so you won't get sacked. More on this in the coming months as I have quite a bit to say about these things.
Anyway, here's looking to going back tomorrow. Cheers!
It just occurred to me that it is the last day of the work week, which means I'd be going back to work for a day then would be having two days-off after. Cool. Here's hoping something cool may happen on those days.
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So it seemed that fever, the good ol' friend of cold and cough, was simply late. Fashionably late as I may be allowed to say. It finally could up with me and as a result, I have been absent from work for two days now and maybe tomorrow as well upon the doctor's recommendation. He noted on the medical certificate that it is an upper respiratory tract infection, which would explain the coughs and colds.
I want to be able to go back to work. Shit. I can't believe that I just said that.
Now don't call me a workaholic or anything as there are other things I look forward to at work. First of all, it's summer and it's so much cooler at work. Also, let's not forget the hi-speed connection which makes cyberslacking a breeze. I have been doing the same job for almost two years now and we need to find other ways to inspire us to enjoy work.
Another thing is that you do not plan for these things and it hits you unprepared.
There are no games at home that are enticing me to play. KOTOR 2 on the PC has a nasty bug that would simply restart the PC at any given time which downright sucks. The copy of God of War does not want to work on my PS2, that or my PS2 is being jealous about me not paying any attention to her lately. Sorry babe, but people change.
There are no DVDs at home which I have not watched. Sure, there are a number of films I could watch again just so they'd be worth the money I spent on them.
Nothing to do but rest but with this intense heat, it is something impossible to do.
With regards to the last post entitled Passenger Seat which no one read anyway (comments=readership), the weekend went out pretty well and was surprisingly fun at that. Let's do it again sometime, okay?
Oh boy, had one of the more scarier dreams this morning especially so as it involves this gift. I just don't like thoughts of those kinds of possibilities. Gack!
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I guess you know how jeeps work, since it is long and passengers are seated side by side, payment has to be passed from one passenger until it reaches the driver in front. It's a common practice that everyone should unconsciously do.
So it is annoying when some people act like they are sleeping when they are not. More annoying though are the people who just stare at you and your hand as your arms start to get heavy. At these times, one feels the urge to just stab these people. Yes, when you feel this urge the heaviness in the arms magically disappears and you can see yourself stabbing someone multiple times.
Better yet, these people should be cursed. The kind of curse wherein no one would ever hear or see them paying their fare.
Nah, that's too gentle. The curse should be something like other passengers would see and hear them but no one would ever raise their hand to reach for the fair. I think that's better. For additional spice, we can add a clause wherein they are not heard by the driver when he/she calls for a stop.
Right. It's not like I have not done the same thing a couple of times but today, I was really sleepy and tired. Foolish me sat close to the drivers seat and no one came any closer (I don't know why, I was not stinking (yet!) or anything) so I had to be the point person who had to reach over and hand over the fares to the driver. Oh, and let's not forget the change.
This was not as annoying as the fact that some people did not even bother to stretch their arm a bit further and expected me (ME!) to stretch my already heavy arm. Fsck it! Add to that the kind of people in between where ones who do not even move and simply stare.
Postscript.
I think I am feeling a little better, knock on wood.
stingeyes: No, the computer table only has a laminated plastic finish which looks like wood but is not, so that won't work. Go stand up and knock on the ceiling.
simonsayz stands up and reaches for the ceiling.
simonsayz: Happy now?
stingeyes: Yeah. Go on, I believe you were saying something.
simonsayz: Oh yes, I think I am feeling a bit better which is definitely a good thing as no one wants someone who sniffs and coughs all the time. Plus it's the weekend, and we have plans for the weekend. Big plans.
stingeyes: Hmmm...Does this involve locking ourselves in our oven room again with a bunch of DVDs?
simonsayz: No.
stingeyes: A new game on the PS2 then. I heard God of War is pretty amazing.
simonsayz: So I heard, but wrong again.
stingeyes: WTF? Gig then? Wait, I know it's the 15th and Sin City is opening in cinemas on that day. Oh God, please tell me am right this time.
simonsayz: Sorry. Meeting up with old friends is something we need to do sometime but not this weekend. Sin City sounds enticing, but still no.
stingeyes: Fuck. Not videogames, movies, nor music?! What the hell happened to you? This is so not you. Definitely not me either.
simonsayz: Most certainly none of the above.
stingeyes: This is what I have been afraid of. Let me guess, HE is back.
simonsayz: Uh-huh. Hey, you come out of that hole and stop listening to Dashboard Confessional.
*******: Me? Of course, you have had your fair share of the lime light. It is now my time to shine! Mwahahahaha...
stingeyes: How? Where? What the hell is happening here?
To be continued...
Sorry, but I needed to stop or else I'd find myself wide awake when I should actually be sleeping already, I can't believe how much I missed doing one of these. I still have work and need to wake up by 3 in the freaking morning.
Amusing thought though, the conversation was supposed to mention why I am looking forward to the weekend, but somehow it was left out.
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Defined as the art of puking in association with seeing, hearing or smelling someone else puke. My Sassy Girl anyone?
As I was traveling home, this kid threw up (yes, trips to our place are puke-inducing). Even though he was beside me, I was spared from the vomit. A few moments later, his brother threw up. Just great. The vomit was still fresh (?) akin to some kind of rice porridge.
In this instance the annoying cold actually had some advantage, no smell. It's not that I am a sympathetic puker, it's just not nice to smell partially digested thrown up food.
Yes, you heard it right, the cold is still looming around and it seems that it is trying to invite his good old buddy, fever. Not a good thing. Fever, you are most definitely not welcome.
So Star Wars Clone Wars Volume II actually aired starting yesterday, I just got the time fucked up. It was actually at 6:45 in the evening. Stupid. Now I missed the Episode 21. Sick. Alternatively, I could simply download the whole thing. Simple is the keyword though, as there is no simple way accomplishing that task using a dial-up connection.
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Extremities with the freaking climate/temperature sucks major ass. Due to the intense heat trapped in this oven of a room last Saturday, I have developed a nice little cold. Well, it was partly my fault knowing that I had a cold I still spent the rest of the afternoon in the said room watching DVDs. Electric fans are useless.
Now am sniffing and coughing all the time at work which is not very nice if your work involves talking to people. Thankfully, my body is more adaptive to a cool environment (air-conditioned) and I could almost say I had no cold. The same can't be said about the cough though, as it was quite persistent.
Commuting to and from work does not help either as the wind, heat, dust and pollution make it so much worse than it could be. I have a high tolerance against cigarette smoke but not when I have colds. It makes the cold even worse.
So here we are loading up on the vitamins and citrus juice, drinking lots of liquids to flush the virus out. At this rate, I am not sure when it would quit.
I wish I could sleep early, but I'm scared that I would just wake up later and find myself unable to sleep again.
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April marks the 3rd year since I have started this mediocre thing I call my website. (LJ only came in around January due to peer pressure) In those three years, the layout has been left unchanged. Aside from removing the Jurassic image map and changing into a CSS menu, everything has been left alone. Updates and layout changes have been in the works but I had been too lazy to actually implement them. I like the layout as it is and the cuteness of having them all come out in an iframe centered in the page. I am still amused by it.
Monologues where supposed to be the main attraction of the site, but procrastination has got the better of me. Don't worry, I still therapeutically talk to myself everyday.
So with the Monologues stuck on a wire, the Journals had been the main attraction. Right, not like everyone would actually visit my site to hear me whining each and every waking day. It has gotten better though. Reading previous entries, I'd be surprised at what I have written as I never read the blog again which accounts to most of the grammatical errors. I could say that I was one extremely depressed and sick boy back then. I mean, self-inflicted pain, WTF?
As I have always been saying ever since the start of 2005, this has changed. More of a positive attitude now though there are still some uncertainties and insecurities about the future. But as I have been saying before, it's all good.
I was supposed to blog yesterday about this, with an entry entitled "The Stuff Wet Dreams are Made Off". Come on, if real-life moving mechs do not turn you on there has to be something wrong with you. The thoughts of Wanzers, Gears and Mobile Suits roaming around is just too much. Then again, you could be a girl.
Then there are rumors of a live-action Transformers and Evangelion movies in the works. Dreams coming true. Wet dreams.
This is not one of them though. Behold the Shakeutron (Thank goodness it's not real!).
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I feel so odd when I should be ecstatically happy.
Wonderful day at Enchanted Kingdom with friends from work. News of FINALLY getting promoted. The gift unraveling though very slow is also going great.
So with all these things going for me, why am I feeling like this. I just spent half the day doing nothing. Was thinking about uploading the pictures from yesterday's trip to my website, but I was just struck by the number and uploaded them to Shutterfly instead. Click here if you want to check 'em out.
Attention Deficit Trait I guess.
Shit. My mind is still blank. Damn. I should be happy now with this promotion and all.
For some reason, as I was leaving home for yesterday's trip I was actually thinking what if they'd find a hole which would lead to me not getting promoted. I contemplated about the possibility and concluded that if ever that did happen, I'd write a resignation letter on the day I be able to confirm it. On the spot resignation.
I was thinking what kind of things I'd write on the letter. Thing is, at this point I do not care about promotion as much as I used too. I used to think that it would be the best boost to my shattered confidence, a stepping stone so I could move on with my life. The last few months have showed and taught me that it ain't necessarily the case.
So now that the much delayed promotion actually takes effect, the feeling has already passed. No positive feelings about it. It's all hype. Thanks to the last few months, I have realized that a promotion is not a measure of one's success. Sure, the company may see it as such, but in my opinion, which is the one that matters, I do not give a flying fuck. I know how good I am and I do not need a memo to tell me that.
Of course, you cannot brag about that. Well, you can but you'd only come out as being too arrogant and conceited. If it is on paper, people do not question it. Also, let's not forget about the additional salary.
Shit. What have I been saying? The last few paragraphs seem to be quite positive, which is not the state I am currently in. I am more annoyed at the fact that I have wasted too much time on this. Most people are aiming for the next level or are already there. My foray to the next level which started out in a very fabulous way (February) fell into oblivion last month. The controllable stats were awesome and all, but the stat I mentioned in the past which is mostly based on luck went for a nosedive. Unless lady luck shines my way again, there is no way another month can possibly save that horrendous nosedive.
A perfect waste of another two months. Back to zero whilst the rest were able to use that time to move up and aim for the next.
Fuck. The problem was I got too excited when I saw how fantastic my stats were in February. The problem with me, which has been present all throughout my life is that whenever I aim or at the least, conscious of something, the more miserably I fail. The less attention I pay to whatever, the more I'd succeed with it without me even knowing what I have done.
So let's do just that and go back to our old life of music, movies and videogames. Oh, the Devil Will Cry.
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