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Poet: Janjan
Perez |
Janjan Observes a Family Gathering
I have known these fragile things you speak about
of hands clasped, holding on to golden chains
and yes, I too could speak well of fragility
with wistful smile, remembering humanity
A thousand tales of remembered meals, relate them to me
of how one by one Uncle took you by the hand and danced
Then children giggle as Lola sets free
a multitude of bills and token denominations of her love
Maybe then you too could look far back and remember
tracing lines of ancient ancestry
Then promise to meet again this December, and promise to me
that everyone will gather around the Christmas tree
Gaily wrapped will be these presents, and wide the smile of children present
counting the days 'til the hour comes, gifts unwrap and joy abounds
Adults lean back, listening to joyful sounds
of happy kids and squeaking toys, shrieking girls and giggling boys
one by one, relate them to me
the rustling leaves of your family tree
And I will sit back and ponder your tale
I'll smile remembering those stories as they too had happened to me
Treasure this joy, this one true thing
'Tis not forever, this happiness will bring
There are times when you too shall cry
But at least these days, you shall remember them by
God bless your family.
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Sick of Eating Doughnuts
(a poem about perseverance)
He--
awaits the light, awaits the day, awaits the night of knowing
a furtherance... this broken shell
the singular moment rejoicing
Then time has come, you reveal to him
A fact suspected long before:
There are secrets
Yes, maybe even more
The face reveals nothing, but within his heart
one tells the tale of sorrow
and sings the songs that this pain brings
awaiting death
awaiting tomorrow
waiting for the poignant break of day
Maybe there are truths that he is bound to never know
Perhaps understanding, he shall never achieve.
but he does not want to die
brave boy that he is, he does not want to give in
A tired soul, holding on to hope
and finds within himself
a strength that he wants to believe in
(written
during a boring interlude at Dunkin' Donuts)
dedicated
to moshpit and all the hardworking CPA reviewees
-
keep the faith and don't lose hope! |
A Duet with Carrey Bradshaw
(an emotion masochist's lovesong)
You are not perfect
but you are beautiful
my eyes... my fingers
they weep to caress your face
and my words, they fail to satisfy
neither words nor paintings nor descriptions
not one
they all fail to capture the fragile strength
foisted upon your human shoulders
and the evenness
of your quiet steps
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We who breathe in persistence
and skulk about in shadows, yes we know
how it is to pine for grace that fails us
and reach for beauty... then let it go
Yes we who eat a meal of bitter gourds
and find solace in our own harsh strengths
with bent claws we reach for ghosts that haunt the air
then tear at veils which beg to be rent
Yes we with blind eyes who turn to the moon
and sing not the dirges of what harmony
Yes we who know of happiness too soon
now turn to comforts of perjury
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And by and by our great lament
how the search for love drew us harsh and torn
and now this ends, another day spent
fighting for substance and ending forlorn
Yes we who yearn for peace and draw the fight
know not what dire fate has had
invoked upon the yowls of mad blight
Another day unto this last goodnight |

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Clueless
Pathetic Asshole
All
is indefinite.
My
sun, it seems, has ceased to shine
around
me is bleakness: my past
What
was I?
What
I should have been
now
it comes to screw up
all
that I could be --
Incompetent.
Unprepared.
Lacking.
Futile.
My
dreams have been for nothing I guess
Three
letters, what does it amount to?
Not
much.
Just
a fancy little decoration
to
add to an already tarnished name.
Jan
Ralph Perez, CPA
Ha,
what a laugh.
That
and fifty pesos
could get you a ride clear out of town. |
'Twas Never Mine
To whose arms shall thou go tonight?
and cast me not a slightest thought
'tis not mine arms that hold thee tight
what quiet pain this longing wrought
Upon whose bed thy head be lain?
whose hands clasped in thine?
I close my eyes, the saddest pain
tonight thou sleepeth not in mine
Whose lips shall be pressed upon thee?
whose breath shall perfume thy air?
Tonight thou casteth no thought of me
thou knoweth not my longing there
To be where thou art...
I fear, not by my side
Nay not by a million miles less
and when thou closeth thine eyes to me
Tonight I die the quiet death
Red veins, tired eyes
searching for a truth beyond darkness forlorn
And when bright sun covers such skies
By morning again, alone
By then whose arms shall hold thee tight?
whose hands shall be clasped in thine?
when morning comes to end the night
again day finds thou art not mine |
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Shudi Yads -
The Love that Spoke Not Its Name
(dedicated to Dodong Moshpit)
You stride by the corner of my eye
and I watch you,
soft as a form, majestic
Powerful as a lion, erotic
Sensuous as an aphrodisiac...
Must I be doomed to love the man I could not have?
Must I reach for the hand that does not have
the imperative to reach out and cover my eye
and must you envelop the air with aphrodisiac
Impotent, you leave me with no choice but to watch you
Twitching as a phallus, erotic
within my heart a desire fierce, majestic
Your love is king, majestic
but mine is the love that you would not have
and thus is left resonance, erotic
a flickering temptation twitching the eye
absurd contemplation desiring only you
to plunge in the nexus of seas aphrodisiac--
such heady "Cool Waters", aphrodisiac
In times and climes majestic
I die in your absence, I collapse when I'm with you
The ideal wonder, might I never have
known what wonders lay at the corner of my eye
a sin, a grand damnation --- indulgently erotic!!!
Erotic by far, erotic by thought... erotic, erotic, EROTIC!
your smile is phallic, your words - an aphrodisiac
and must I be damned by the sins of my eye?
Should I burn all for want of a man majestic
My love... you are the Eden that Adam was not meant to have
my one desire... all is indefinite in you
Why must I not be... a soul chained and parceled to you
a stain on the altar erotic
as blood shed for martyrs, we might have
Engaged in a transgression in temptation by aphrodisiac
Transpired in a sin - orgasmic, neurotic, phantasmic, MAJESTIC!!!
Reaching for the desire reflected in yon' lover's eye
Your words are my bane, your smile an aphrodisiac
you have upon me an effect majestic
traumatic moment, you are the torture of my eye.
*Spinal's
note: This composition was a result of a challenge made by Christela
to
come up with a homoerotic sistena
poem. The poet denies being a homosexual
but
he acknowledges being a sexy dancer at the Scorpio Nights Macho Bar. |
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