Their child.
His child.
He blinked, quickly banishing the thoughts from his mind. He couldn't think about that. But lately, it seemed as if it was all he could think about. Lily, their child, Brenda, Hannah. All the people he had lost, so suddenly. It seemed as if his life was a windstorm, and when the dust settled, the outcome was always the same.
He was alone.
He had to try and get rid of those memories. He had to, because next would come the hurt and the pain.
The anger.
Now there was a welcome emotion. It seemed at times that the anger made him feel better. The punishment was never enough. It didn't even seem that real since he was the one inflicting pain on himself, but yet he couldn't stop. He wouldn't stop. All the pain he had caused others... He deserved some of it too. Coming out of those periods in his life, he never felt as if he had been punished to the point he deserved. Look at the one's he'd punished: Lily, Brenda, his child. All of them had paid with their lives.
"Why the hell am I still alive?" he muttered to himself.
"What was that boss," the ever-present Johnny asked from his position not too far away.
Sonny looked up, searching for the voice. When he realized it was Johnny, he turned to look at his guard and assure the man everything was okay. But his eyes never connected with Johnny. Instead, they landed on her.
Carly.
"Sonny, is everything all right?" Johnny asked again, this time in a more concerned tone. But it seemed his question had been asked in futility, because the man wasn't even paying attention to him. Johnny turned to see what had captured his employer's attention.
I should have known, he thought to himself. Johnny didn't know what had gone on between Sonny and Carly. Sure, he had his suspicions, but of course he would never voice them.
Sonny finally looked to Johnny, noticing the guard's attention had moved to his previous subject.
"Yeah Johnny, everything's fine. I think we should go down to the warehouse and see if the latest orders are moving through fine."
The guard's attention having been returned to his boss, he nodded his head as he moved ahead to do a preliminary search of the area.
Sonny stood up off the bench, his hands frozen from the cold weather of the February afternoon, but not really noticing because his attention had once again been captured by her.
God, I need to stop these insane thoughts!
Yet, he stood still, watching as Carly stopped by a trash can, removed a bundled item from her purse, and threw it in. Putting the purse over her shoulder, she now pulled some items from her coat pocket - a dark cap, gloves, and sunglasses. Sonny looked up above, searching for the sun he knew wasn't present.
What is she doing? he thought to himself.
After putting on all the items, she did a brief scan of the area before taking off around the corner.
Sonny didn't know why he followed. He probably shouldn't have, but it seemed his feet had other plans that went directly against what his brain was screaming.
Leave it alone man. She's poison and the last thing you need right now is poison.
But before he knew it, or Johnny even saw the direction he had taken off in, Sonny was crossing the street. Following her.
Carly walked briskly down the crowded sidewalk, dodging men in their business suits with cell phones, and women with screaming dogs and shopping bags. Shopping. Now there was something she wished she were doing. Instead she was on her way to get an abor...
Damn! I can't even think it. What is wrong with me?
Nothing! Nothing was wrong. She pulled the white piece of paper with the address out of her pocket and read it. 6212 Broad Street, Suite C. Well, she was on Broad street, but as she looked up to the address on the next building, she saw that the building was still a ways off.
Damn! I should've just taken a cab. Then I could have been dropped at the front door. And I wouldn't have to wear this stupid disguise!
But no. AJ, the loving husband that he so was, insisted that the driver take her on her "shopping excursion."
Hmph! Excursion my ass! The only thing that I'm getting today is rid of this child!
"Damn it Carly, could you be any more insensitive!" she chastised herself.
"As if it isn't enough that you are actually going through with this, now you're sounding like a cold-hearted bitch. You'll never hear your name called for a Mother of the Year award," she continued muttering to herself as she pushed her way through the masses.
Geez, did everyone decide to come out today? Today, of all the days. Of all 365 freaking days of the year! Damn it!
Carly stopped suddenly, her anxiety at an all time high for the day. When people started pushing and jabbing her out of their way, muttering for her to move, she ducked into the nearest set of doors, escaping the coldness of the sidewalk and its inhabitants.
Looking around the lobby she had entered, all Carly saw was a bank of elevators ahead of her, some plants scattered around, and a lot of glass. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to think of what to do next.
You know what to do next Carly. Go out there and find that clinic. Get it done and over with and go home! THEN, figure out a plan to get away from AJ.
Even though it all seemed so simple, it really wasn't at all. She dropped her hands, the right one landing near her tummy. She moved it down over the area that would soon grow with her child. "No it won't! I'm going to go back out there, find that clinic, do it, and go home!"
"Excuse me ma'am? Do you need some help?"
Carly whirled around to confront the voice that had just spoken to her. A woman not much older than herself, with a kind face and smile, stared back at her. She was well dressed in a business suit, carrying an attaché case in one hand, the other clutching some papers and a cell phone.
The woman looked down at herself, looking for any food stains from her lunch that might have fallen on her suit. "Aah, is something wrong with my outfit," she asked as she continued to peruse it for the smallest of blemishes.
"No! No! I'm sorry... I was just... Admiring... I'm sorry." Carly replied nervously.
What if she's really a spy for the Quartermaine's? What if she's only here to find out what you're doing and report it to AJ? My God! What if she...
"...this suit is so old, I would never have thought someone would admire it. You really are too kind to even mention..." The woman looked up into Carly's glazed expression, her tirade ending at the look on the young woman's face.
"Are you all right? Do you need to sit down? We could go up to my office and I could get you something to drink. Some food perhaps? Ma'am?"
"Office?" the question barely escaped Carly's frozen lips.
"Yes. My office is on the fourth floor, Suite D actually. I don't know why they name all the suites alphabetically instead of numerically. You would think that would be the easiest way to do it, but I guess that... I'm sorry, going off on a tangent again. You'd think after years of law school, I could get straight to the point, but I often have trouble on the more personal level. See? There I go again, off on a tangent. Do you need anything? Maybe a glass of cold water? I could get you one upstairs. We could take the elevator."
"Umm... Thanks... I'm actually on my way somewhere... I should be going. I'm already late." Carly brought her left hand up with the wristwatch attached to it, the white piece of paper containing the address of the clinic clutched tightly in her fingers.
"Well, here, maybe I can help you." The woman snatched the paper out of Carly's fingers to read what was written on it. When she saw the address, she looked up to Carly's face, then down to her belly.
"What?" Carly practically screamed, snatching back the paper. "Never met a person getting an abortion before?" She was angry that even this total and complete stranger could judge her so quickly. Was she really that bad of a person?
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry, really. I was only trying to help and..."
"Well thanks, alright? You've helped plenty!" Carly turned to storm through the same doors she had just entered through a few minutes ago, the tears already stinging her eyes.
"Wait! You're in the right place. This is 6212 Broad. The clinic is on the third floor, Suite C, right?"
Carly stopped, but didn't turn around. "Not that it's any of your business, but yeah!"
“Look, I said I was sorry so why don’t you just calm down, huh?”
“The last thing I need is for some nosy, busyb...”
“NOSY? I’m not nosy! Why, I’ve never been called nosy in my entire life!”
“Well you just were lady!” Carly whirled past the woman towards the elevators, determined not to let the stranger’s negative thoughts of her get in the way of what she needed to accomplish. She pressed the up button, and folded her arms, fuming that a someone who didn't even know her could pass suck quick judgment. How dare she? She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know the circumstances of this child. I would keep it, I would, but I just can’t!
Carly tried to wipe the seemingly ending stream of tears that ran down her face away.
“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times I can say that, but I truly feel bad for having judged you so quickly. I don’t even know you...”
“No! No you don’t! You don’t know that I’m married to the most controlling, possessive man on this planet. That he has money and lawyers, therefore having total and complete control over my life and that of my son’s.” A sob escaped Carly when she spoke of Michael. She couldn’t lose her baby. She wouldn’t.
“But, I’m sure that..”
“AND you don’t know that the baby I’m carrying belongs to another man, whom I might add hates me! If my husband ever finds out about this baby, he will have me locked up forever and I will never see Michael again! I can’t lose Michael. I’ve never had much of anything in my life, but Michael is the one thing in my life that matters. I love him too much. I will not lose him. So if you will excuse me, I will just stand here quietly, out of your pure air space, and wait for the elevator.”
“I... I’m sorry. I didn’t...”
“No, you didn't. Just quit with the apologies alright? You’re sorry…you’re sorry…you’re sorry. I heard.” As if just waiting for the cue, one of the elevator doors opened, and after the people stepped off, Carly quickly got on.
“Wait! Hold the elevator!” The woman shouted, rushing to throw herself in before the doors fully closed.
“There are three other elevators you know!” Carly gaped at the woman stepping onto the elevator.
“Yeah, well they take a long time. I’m s...”
“Sorry! Yeah, I know!”
“You don’t have to get rid of this baby you know. No matter what your husband thinks or the father of the child thinks, I can see that you don’t really want to do this.”
“Well, we all never wanted to get up and go to school, but we had to.”
“That’s a totally different scenario.”
“Different case, same principle.”
“You could divorce your husband and get at least partial custody of your son.”
“Which part of ‘the most controlling, possessive man on the earth’ did you not understand lady?” Carly gaped at the stranger. This woman was really starting to overstep her boundaries and Carly was seriously thinking about jabbing her in the mouth.
“Whatever it takes, you do not have to get rid of this innocent child. Do you know how many couples unsuccessfully try to conceive a child each year? Do you know how many couples are on waiting lists to adopt children? You have a gift. Maybe it wasn’t planned…or even, not really wanted. But this gift…this life you are carrying…it’s the most precious thing in the whole world. Here…let me give you a card.”
Carly watched as the woman amazingly balanced all her holdings and magically pulled out what looked to be a business card. She handed it over and Carly read it. Daniella Marie Carzuti, Attorney at Law.
“You’re a lawyer…yeah…you said something earlier…”
“Yes. I could help you…well, hmm, I didn’t catch your name…”
“Probably cause I didn’t throw it. But its… Its Carly. Caroline actually. Caroline Spencer. My married name is Quartermaine though. Mrs. AJ…”
“Quartermaine? As in Edward Quartermaine? As in the company…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. The great Quartermaine Empire, that’s it!”
“Oh…”
“Aren’t so sure of yourself now, are you?”
The elevator doors opened then onto the third floor, Suite C.
“Well, I should get going…my appointment is almost up…”
Carly started to step out of the elevator doors, moving towards her destination.
“Wait!” The woman dropped her attaché case, and the rest of her items atop of it, stepping forward so she blocked the doors from closing.
“I’ve heard of the Quartermaines, but I’m sure that you could manage things so you could keep your baby and still have contact with your son.”
“I don’t want to have to see Michael through a glass window.”
“No. Nothing like that. Look, why don’t you come up to my office with me. We could talk it over…I’m sure there’s something we can do.”
“Look Daniella…”
“Please, call me Dani. All my friends do.”
Carly looked at the woman skeptically. “I’m not your friend.”
“You could be.”
The woman’s simple reply caught Carly off guard. No one ever offered to be her friend. She looked behind her towards the door to the clinic, then back at the woman, Dani.
“I don’t have any money…I couldn’t pay you…you’d just be wasting your time and…”
“If I could save your child’s life, that would be payment enough for me.”
That comment totally blew Carly away. She didn’t know why this woman who didn’t even know her, who already had passed judgment on her, would want to now help her.
“Just talk. I promise to not try and give you any more lectures. We’ll just talk about your situation and see if there isn’t any way we can help you to keep everything you have. I think I might even have a half-gallon of Cookies-n-Cream ice cream in the freezer. We could share?”
Dani bit her lip, not sure that this woman, Carly, would agree to her idea. She hoped to God she would though. Maybe this is my chance to make peace. Carly took one last look at the clinic doors. Deep down in her heart, she didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to get rid of this baby. If Dani could somehow help her, if there was even the slightest chance… She couldn’t just get rid of her child without knowing… Carly stepped back on to the elevator.
“Fine. Talking wouldn’t hurt, I guess.”
“Good. And we could have that ice cream too. Geez, I just had lunch and already I’m craving more food! It’s a wonder I can still fit into my suits.” Dani smiled as she stepped back in to punch the button for her floor.
At least I’ll get some ice cream if nothing else Carly thought as the doors closed. But silently, she wished for so much more.
