Billy Gives It Up...Finally.

It had been a long day, starting early in the morning painting the kitchen and ending late in the evening breaking down boxes in the garage. But Sam and Beth were finally moved in. The house smelled of fresh paint and carpet shampoo and stiff new draperies. The man of the house hadn't yet had the courage to fire up a cigar in the face of all this newness. But he had gone out and bought beer. Lots of beer. None of us had eaten anything to speak of all day...and we'd been pounding them down since about nine. It was now...Sam squinted at his watch...eleven thirty. He remembered the time later because eleven thirty was the precise moment Bill Strannix ramrodded through the unlocked door.

Billy:  Well, well.  Party central.

Sam:  Damn, look what the cat dragged in.

Deb:  So who asked you, y'old fart?

Billy pointed a finger at me.

Billy:  Watch it, kiddo.

Deb:  Pooh, I say.  And Pooh again.

Billy next stalked over toward Beth.

Beth:  Bill, Bill, Bill.  You need to learn to relax, man.

Billy:  And you definitely have a lot of explainin' to do.

Beth:  Moi?

Sam:  My woman, Strannix, once an' f'r all.

Deb:  What th'hell's she gotta explain shit t'you for?  Sammy, maybe, but 
not you, y'bunghole.

Billy was completely ignoring Sam and me, staring Beth down.

Beth:  What?

Billy:  You wanna tell me why I hadda find out about this like some damn 
stranger off the street?

Beth:  Give me a fuckin' break, Bi...

Billy stormed across the room and grabbed Beth by the arm, pulling her
to her feet.  Sam was not as inebriated as he had at first seemed.  He came
off the couch like a stormtrooper, grabbed the back of Billy's shirt and
spun him around.  They confronted one another sliently.  The center of the
conflict scurried out of the way.

Beth:  Get the tape measure out, Deb.  Here we go again.

Billy:  Ain't none of your damn business, boy.

Sam:  You grab my woman by the arm that way you can fuckin' well bet I'm
gonna make it my business.

Billy still had his eyes locked on Sam's.

Deb:  Um...Billy?

Billy:  What?

Beth:  What's the problem here?

Billy:  Imagine my surprise to walk into someone's empty apartment.

Beth hung her head and rubbed her eyes for a minute.

Sam:  Imagine our surprise to find out you think it's any of your goddam
business.

Billy stabbed a finger into Sam's chest.

Billy:  I told you once already, butt out.

I was rapidly sobering up, as I suspected Beth was as well.

Sam:  Maybe you oughta listen to your own advice, young man.  This woman is
mine.

Deb:  Billy?

Billy closed his eyes, then looked over at me.

Billy:  What?!

Beth walked cautiously over to the two behemoths.

Beth:  Look, Bill, I'm sor...

She started to put a hand on his elbow, but he knocked it away.  Sam 
startled then lunged, murder in his eye.

Sam:  Don't you raise your voice to her in her own house.  Beth, I think
you two really oughta leave the room and let us settle this once and for
all.

Beth:  Hang on, Sam.  Bill...I'm sorry.  You're right.  That was really
shitty and I...

Billy:  Goddam right that was shitty!

Beth:  And I wasn't thinking.  WE weren't thinking.

Sam:  Why the fuck should she be accountable to you?

Sam picked Beth tenderly up in his two large hands and moved her out
of harms way.  She stepped instantly back between them, before they could 
start busting up her pretty new house...before they could start busting
each other up.  Bill was still seething, but starting to calm down, jaw
muscles loosening imperceptibly.

Deb:  Billy?

Bill bowed his head, rubbed his eyes with a thumb and forefinger.  He 
sighed hugely.

Billy:  Yeah?

Deb:  I'm still here.

Billy:  This...this has nothing to do with that.

Deb:  Sure seems to me like it does.

Sam's mouth opened, but a look from Beth caused him to shut it with an
audible snap.  Bill shot Deb a look.

Billy:  Ever had a friend leave and not tell you they were goin'?

Deb:  Not of the opposite sex.  Not one I thought I owned.  Not one I
didn't seem to be quite rational about.  No.

Sam:  Beth, what the hell is this?

Beth:  Ssh.  Something a long time coming, Sam.

Billy:  And not one who only a few weeks ago disappeared off the goddam 
street because of something you did.

Deb:  Sorry?  You lost me.

Sam thought he might have been the only person able to see it...but Deb
was growing angry.  A few minutes ago her dark eyes had been filled with
misery...but that was being supplanted by something that looked an awful
lot like rage.  Beside him Beth rubbed her forehead, trying to gauge her
next few words to head off the explosion she felt coming.

Beth:  Bill...I think we got more than a few people here at fault.  What
happened...THAT wasn't anyone's fault.  It was unfortunate, but it wasn't
anyone's fault except the guys who planned it.  But...

Beth heaved her own huge sigh.  Bill turned his back, took a couple of 
steps away.

Beth:  But you're not...responsible for me...not anymore.

Sam:  Damn straight.  She's made her choice, Strannix, and the choice isn't
you.

Beth:  SAM!

Sam:  What?  It's the truth, isn't it?  Isn't it?

Beth took Sam's hand, giving him a slightly stern look.

Beth:  You know it is.  I just don't think it's necessary to beat 
him up about it.

Deb:  I don't like the way this is going.

Sam:  What should I do?  You tell me, what should I do?  He blasts into MY
house uninvited, starts manhandling MY woman...you want me to stand here
and do nothing?

Deb:  I guess I'll go to bed.

Billy dropped his head, looked back and gave me a tired half-grin while
he snorted a short laugh.  Beth smiled, but then looked away at the floor.

Sam:  What the hell's so funny now, smartass?

Deb:  Yeah, you two put each other up to this?  What's so funny?  I'm not
laughing.

Beth tried desperately to lighten the mood.  She took Bill's laugh as
a small sign of encouragement.

Beth:  So...let me guess, Bill...my old apartment door probably needs a
new set of hinges...

Bill chuckled.

Beth:  You've probably threatened every friend I have and now I can't call 
them anymore...

Sam:  I'd like somebody to explain this...NOW!

Bill laughed, shook his head.  She knew him too well.

Billy:  They ain't too happy with you at work, either.

Sam:  Not that THAT'LL matter much longer, will it?

Beth:  Whoa, Sam.  One major life change at a time.

Billy:  Please.

Sam:  Please what?

Deb:  Good night, Beth, Sam...

Billy:  And SHE wants to go to bed.

Deb:  Not with you, I guess.  I think I'll head on out in the morning, you 
two.  You don't need me here anymore...things are pretty much under control
and you ought to have some time alone in your new place.

Billy:  What's that supposed to mean?

Deb:  Figure it out, Mr. Annapolis.  Oh, and I think I have something of 
yours.  Nothin' but a goddam albatross around my neck.

Beth:  I tried to stop this, Sam.  I could tell it was coming...I tried
to stop it...

Sam:  I know you did, Honey.

I reached for the chain around my throat, snapped it hard enough to leave
a red welt across the back of my heck, and flung his ring at him.  Bill
barely caught it.  As I stormed by, he grabbed my arm.

Sam:  Now what?

Billy:  I was about to ask the same thing, Dawg.

Deb:  Don't wrinkle the threads.

Bill tightened his grip.

Billy:  Why does this always come back to someone yelling at me about a
relationship that don't even exist anymore?

Deb:  Funny.  Looks to me like you're the only one who hasn't figured that
out yet.  Sam has, Beth's definitely got the message, I have.  And what
do you do?  Chase around after the poor girl like some damn dog in rut.
You're hurting my arm.

Bill didn't lighten his grip.  He was locked in a staredown with me,
and I had no intention of backing off, for once.

Billy:  That...is a buncha crap.  I do not...Jesus H. Christ...I do not
have a 'thing' for her!

Deb:  Think about it.  If you can.  If you're not so caught up in something
that's over that you've got the classic forest and trees syndrome.  You're
52 years old, Strannix.  Grow the fuck up!

Bill stood there in silence.

Deb:  You her friend?

Bill:  YEAH, I'm her friend.

Deb:  THEN LET GO OF HER!!

Sam:  Honey...what?

Beth:  Sssh.

Deb:  Real FRIENDS know when to let go.  REAL friends want their FRIENDS
to be happy!  You treat her like she's a Barbie doll and me...like a
common whore you don't even need to bother to pay anymore.  Where do your
feelings lie?  Or don't you have any?  Do you want her because you can't
have her?  And does the fact that I'm the way I am make me too easy?

Bill released my arm.  I rubbed it absently.  He pointed a finger at
me and I slapped it away.  Beth had an odd thought and had to swallow
a burst of nervous laughter...shades of "Cobb", she thought.

Billy:  Don't talk that way about yourself.

Deb:  Why not?  I don't feel that way.  I think I've offered you the only
thing I have of any value.  You treat it like an old shoe.  Beth is very
happy, very satisfied...most days she has what I call a well-fucked look
on her face.  What the hell does she need with you, except as a friend?

Billy:  Well, then what the hell does she need with me at all?

Sam:  Beth?

Beth:  Bill, we are friends.  We'll always be friends.  I
don't know what I can do to prove that to you.  To make you
understand that I'm not going away.

Sam:  Prove shit, baby.  What in hell do you need to prove anything to him
for?  He's your friend.  I'm your lover.

Deb:  He's got it all mixed up, Sam.

Beth:  Bill, there's no guarantee that when you start out on one path, that
you'll finish up on the same path.  Life just doesn't work that way.

Deb:  Don't waste your time, Beth.  He's as philosophical as a rock and
twice as stubborn.  You're gonna have him on your ass for the rest of your
life.

Sam:  Not if I can help it.

Deb:  Won't make any difference, Sam.

Sam:  Is Beth really the subject of this discussion anymore?

Deb:  Ask him.

Beth:  Bill...

Very slowly, Bill answered...

Billy:  ...no...

Sam:  Then who is?  Because somebody oughta leave, if that's the case.

Deb:  I repeat.  Ask him.

Bill spoke very distinctly in a very low voice.

Billy:  I don't want to lose anybody...I'm not goin' through that
again.

I saw that Sam was giving me a look of concern.  I was standing stiffly
and I knew I was probably very pale.  It was what happened when I was about
to be overcome emotionally.  I was on the verge of taking everything I ever
wanted and throwing it away with both hands.  I was terrified, but I was
damned if Billy would find out.

Deb:  Again?  Seems to me you've made damn sure you haven't lost Beth.
Blowing things out of proportion again, Roadrunner?

Billy:  I've been where you're standin' right now.  And it sucks.  And
maybe I'm an asshole for makin' somebody else go through it...

Deb:  Maybe? 

Bill ignored me and continued.

Billy:  ...But I swore to God I was NOT gonna let anyone get close to me
again.  First the pipsqueak did it.  And now you did it.  And I don't know
how to keep...

Deb:  Did what?

Billy:  GOT TOO GODDAM CLOSE!!

Bill calmed down again, his iron control coming to the fore.

Deb:  Is either one of us to blame?  She's moved on.  You haven't, and I'm
the one getting frozen out here because I can't help loving you.  Beth
doesn't need the heat from that fire in your belly, she's got Sam for that.
And I want it, but I can't get close.  And it sounds to me like both
Beth and I are being made to pay for what somebody else did to you.  Who
was it?  One of your fucking Dixies?  That goddam silicone queen centerfold
from the Missouri?  Who?  Who did you and dropped you?

Bill's eyes went cold.  I raised my chin.  I could see the end coming...
the love of my life was about to turn his back on me and walk away.

Billy:  Don't.  Even.  Think.  About callin'...ain't no goddam Dixie.

Sam:  Beth, come on away from there, please.

Deb:  Then what?  Or who?  Spit it out, boy, you owe us that much.  You get
burned when you were some spitshined little Annapolis wonk or what?

Billy:  Some fuckin' girl in Saigon, all right?  Some stupid little shit
who was stupid enough to fall in love with me.  Some stupid little South
Vietnamese gook who fell for a goddam CIA black ops spook and got her
throat slit for it!!!

Deb:  Goddam!  If it ain't Thomas Magnum!  Shit!  A fucking stereotype!
William, I'm here now!  NOW!!  Look at me!  I love you, isn't that
enough?!!  I'm not goin' anywhere unless you push me!!

Billy:  You better not go anywhere...

Deb:  More threats.  You always revert to type.  Take that show on the road,
little man, they might be impressed in Poughkeepsie.  I'm kind of tired of
it.  I wanna hear from that guy I see in your eyes right now.  

Billy:  You wanna hear him say something?

Deb:  You know which guy I mean, don't you?

Billy:  You wanna hear him say don't leave?

I stood quietly, waiting.

Billy:  You wanna hear him say put this goddam ring back on?

I clenched my fists...anything for control.

Billy:  You wanna hear him say I love you?

My voice had gone south.  It was tiny when I finally found it to use it.

Deb:  For starters.

Sam:  Honey, I really think we should leave these two alone.

Billy looked farther into me than just my eyes.  He took a step toward
me.

Billy:  Don't leave.

Billy tossed the ring back to me and took another step closer.

Billy:  Put this goddam ring back on.

He took another step forward and landed in front of me, overwhelming me
with his size and his scent.  He gently cupped my chin in the palm of one 
big hand.

Billy:  I love you.

My eyes started to leak treacherously.  I had been fighting the need
for tears, now I started to lose the battle.

Deb:  This is real?

Billy:  You want it notarized?

With his thumb he brushed away the droplets sliding down my cheek.  He
examined them curiously.  Had anyone ever cried over him before?  Or had it 
been so long he'd forgotten what it felt like to be loved?

Deb:  I want it in stone.

Billy:  Go get a rock, pipsqueak.  The hardhead here don't believe me.

Deb:  She wants to.  She's trying.  But tomorrow she's afraid it's gonna
be same old, same old.

Billy:  Who ya gonna trust, then?

Deb:  I trusted you from minute one.  I kept coming back, didn't matter
what you did or what you said or how hard you tried to keep me away.  But
I won't have three in my bed anymore.  It's gotta stop.

Billy:  Then you better boot out those dogs and those cats and that ferret.
I'll boot out my memories.

Deb:  As usual, you misunderstood.  I know what you two were to each other.
I know you spent about six months going at it like bunnies...

Sam:  BETH!!

Beth:  Figure of speech, Sam. 

Deb:  ...I don't care about that, if I did I wouldn't be able to look
at her.  She's entitled to her past and her baggage the same as you.  But I
can't do that anymore.  I can't be under you...sweating under you...knowing
that you're thinking of Beth...your little Vietnamese girl...the last
Dixie you put up against a wall somewhere...I can't do it.  I can't.  I have 
to be the only one.

Billy whispered so softly I could barely hear him.

Billy:  ...okay...

Deb:  Could you help me with this chain, Billy?  I'm sort of shaky right
now and the clasp is messed up...

Billy fumbled with the small clasp in his big fingers, trying to bend it
back into shape.  When he spoke, his voice was strangely rough.

Billy:  You broke it, punk.

He mamaged to rig the chain and reached around my neck to fasten it.  I
leaned forward and rested my forehead on his shoulder, my hands laying on
his ribcage.  He gently set me upright.  The ring was in the palm of his
hand, warming to body temperature.  Slowly he dropped it between my breasts,
it's warmth lingering against my skin.

Deb:  This must mean something to you if you still have it after all these
years and all this disenchantment with the government the place trained
you to serve.

Billy:  My mother bought it for me.

Deb:  Then maybe I'm not...entitled to wear it.  I might lose it.  I don't
want to lose it, it's too precious.  Not every boy's mama gets to buy him an
Annapolis ring.  I know I'll never get that chance.

Billy:  You won't lose it.  I don't want you to lose it.  I don't want to
lose you, you're too precious to me.  We even, now?

Billy bent his head and kissed me, deeply and longingly.  I pressed up
into him, wishing I could climb inside his skin and be with him that way
forever.  I knew that the following day would find him poking me in the
butt and calling me gimpy...but I would have something even more precious
than his Annapolis ring in my keeping.  I would have his great heart.

Beth:  I suddenly feel like a third wheel.

Sam started backing her out of the room.

Sam:  Come on then, trike...let's go.  They can lock up on their way out.

TO BE CONTINUED...