Right Hand Doesn't Know What The Left Hand's Doin'...

Beth had established another 'backdoor' entrance to Billy's computers -
as soon as Sam had departed to the nearest drugstore to purchase various
over-the-counter nostrums to cure her non-existant illness, she leaped at
the computer to set up yet another annoyance.  When she was done, Billy's
entire system was set to run, every quarter-hour, "My Heart Will Go On"
complete with dialogue.  Volume control was not an option - Celine Dion 
would be barking at the moon full blast.  She was back in bed twenty minutes
before Sam returned.

Sam bustled around the bedroom, bringing water and Tylenol, Pepto Bismol,
Maalox, Tums, extra pillows and blankets.  He lugged Beth's big television
in from the front room, forearms bulging attracively.  He had to make yet 
another trip out, this time to a Radio Shack to purchase a roll of coaxial 
cable to run from the front room to the bedroom because the cable outlet
in the bedroom was inoperative.  When he returned, he brought with him a
bag of Italian takeout along with the cable.  He hooked up the TV, dished
out the cheese ravioli and seafood manicotti, stripped to his skivvies and
hopped up beside her,  He appeared to be happy as a clam.

When they had finished eating, Sam gathered up the dishes and hauled them
to the kitchen.  Beth hesitated, fidgeting briefly, before following him
dowm the hall.  She knew he was down there, rinsing and stacking the dishes
in only his boxers, and she wanted to watch him.  She used the sound of the
water running to mask her movements.

Sam:  Git your ass back to bed, there, squirrel.

He never looked away from the sink.  Beth continued to enjoy the view,
watching back and leg muscles smoothly flexing as he moved.  Then he made
as if to lunge down the hall at her, and she fled.  When he had finished
and come back to the bedroom he climbed up behind her and placed her between
his knees.  It was his favorite place to put her and when asked why he said 
it was because she fit there just right.  Beth relaxed fully against him,
feeling safe and completely loved.  She grabbed the TV listings while he 
seized the remote.  There was a brief tussle, until they decided to 
co-operate.

Beth wanted to watch The X-Files, though she didn't quite get the same
benefit with Sam sitting behind her, caressing her and muttering direly in
her ear that Mulder and Scully wouldn't have lasted ten minutes in Quantico
or anyplace else, for that matter if they were as inept as all that, and 
that if they were HIS kids they would learn proper police investigative
procedure or he would goddam well know the reason why.  Terr kept telling
him to shut up and banging on his rock-hard thigh for emphasis.  Like he
felt it.

Sam got bored with Mulder and Scully about halfway, his parting shot being
that if all federal investigators were such fools the US would right now
be a suburb of Moscow.  He decided to turn his attention to her, in such
a way as to make it immaterial to Beth which political philosophy, or for
that matter, carbon based life form was actually in ascendance.  For all
she cared, the real power in the White House might have been Socks the Cat
once Sam started on her in earnest.  He kissed her neck and the slope of 
her shoulder, alternating lightly with lingeringly in such a way that it
was difficult for her to remember if she was watching Mulder and Scully or
Rocky and Bullwinkle.  It was all the same to her once his hands began
roaming breasts and belly and lower.  She felt him pushing her hair aside
to get at the tender patch of skin behind her ear.  Beth's hand, draped
loosely over the long leg she'd been beating on earlier now tightened on the
big muscle of his thigh until her nails dug into his skin.  The old fox
didn't want to watch The X-Files, moreover he didn't want HER to watch The
X-Files, so he was seducing her, and it was working.  Something that felt
like a stone heated to a pleasant warmth was digging into the small of her
back.  She wriggled against it and Sam groaned.  The last straw came when
he reached down, snapped her panties into two damp pieces and threw them
aside.  That did it.  He'd asked for it and now he was gonna get it.  She
rose on her knees and turned to face him, physically forcing him down onto
his back.  She skinned her satin camisole over her head and shied it off
someplace.  And then she fell on him.

Billy:  Hey...baby, wake up...pass me them chips.

The chips were in my lap and if he hadn't been a perverse soul under the
best of circumstances, he would have reached across and takem them without
waking me up.  I was mad as hell at Billy for dragging me along on this
fool's errand, mad at Ryan, even pissed off in some obscure way at poor
Jade.  She might not even have known that Ryan had made off with her pass-
port and stuck a picture of me into it, though what INS agent was going to
be fooled by the description of a fresh twenty-two year old when faced
with tired old middle-aged mother of three me was anybody's guess.  I passed
them all right.  Hard, into his rocky midsection.

Billy:  Hey, what's this shit?

Deb:  Your chips.  Chow down and leave me alone.

Did he actually care one way or the other if I was angry with him?

Billy:  Bust up these chips I'll take it out of your ass.

There was my answer.

Deb:  Ask me if I care.  Let me sleep, fool.  I'm trashed.

Billy:  You been trashed since we left Tommy's.  You find that Sour Apple
Pucker I left there?

Deb:  Like we needed to go and check to see if the man was home.  No, I
haven't been drinking, but I wish I had!  I could sleep without you waking
me up every five minutes.  I'm tired!  I haven't had any real rest in at
least a week!  Now shut up and leave me alone if I'm gonna be worth a fart
in a high wind!

Billy patted my leg.  It felt like a pile driver.

Billy:  Why stay home when ya c'n come with me?

Deb:  You want me to make a list?  For starters, you don't give a flying
shit if I'm with you or not!

Billy:  What?

Deb:  You heard me.

Billy:  Who says I don't give a damn about you?

Deb:  That's not what I said.  I said it wouldn't make a damn bit of
difference to you if I came or not.

Billy:  That's not what you said, either.  Shut up and go back t'sleep, ya
bother me.

Deb:  Doesn't matter to me if I sleep in this car or in that frigging CIC
back in Lubbock, just so's I do.

Billy:  Then do it.  Shut the hell up and crash.

Deb:  I think I will.

When I woke up again, Billy's hand was on my leg...just there.  He 
allowed it to remain even after seeing that I was awake.

Billy:  Feelin' better?

Deb:  A little.  But I'm so stiff...

I knew that was a mistake the minute it came out of my mouth.

Billy:  I get stiff, I'll take care of ya.

Deb:  You are an absolute pig.

Billy:  And you love it, so don't play that shit game.

I covered that quiet and strangely gentle hand with my own.

Deb:  I guess I must.  There are plenty of other places I could be right
now and not have to listen to crude sexual innuendo that wouldn't be half
as much fun.

Billy:  Damn straight.  Gotcha a McFish.  Why d'ya eat these damn things?

Deb:  Cause you don't.

I thought of the one time I had let Billy order me a hamburger.  I'd 
watched, horrified, as Billy dispatched the sandwich in a three or four
massive bites.  My own sandwich sat, untouched.  Mouth full, chewing 
steadily, Billy had polished off the fries.  My food was getting old on my
plate.  He'd pointed at it, mouth too stuffed to speak.  I'd pushed the
burger and fries at him without a word, and watched as he'd gone through
them with equal rapaciousness.  Now I ate fish, chicken, anything I knew
he wouldn't bother.

Billy:  Hah-hah.  Here...we're gonna keep goin' until we hit Brownsville
or thereabouts.

Deb:  What about Ryan?  He might need to rest.

Billy:  Gaerity's a goddam machine - he never sleeps.  He wants to stop,
he'll let me know.  You wanna drive for a while?

Deb:  What I need to do is stretch my legs.

Billy:  I asked didja wanna drive, not didja need to spread your legs.

Deb:  I said stretch, you miserable ass, stretch!

Billy:  I like 'em better spread.

Deb:  Don't talk to me.

Billy's hand sneaked way down the inside of my thigh, and up.  I stopped,
went completely still.

Billy:  Damn, sometimes you ain't even any fun, you're so easy...

Deb:  Here, don't let me interfere with you driving.

I snatched his hand out from between my legs and threw it back at the
wheel.  He slapped it back down, mercilessly squeezing the big muscles
as he did.  I flung his hand away from me a second time. trying to get him
to hit himself in the head with it.  Next thing I knew, he had slammed
that big paw down and blanketed the area directly below the fly of my 505's.
And I was holding it there, feeling the deep-seated itch begin and wondering
when I would be able to get it scratched.

Billy:  You want it, dontcha?

Deb:  You know the answer, why ask?

Billy:  I'd swear you were hung up on me or somethin'.

I looked at him, suddenly feeling down deep evil.  I must have looked it.
For a man who didn't scare, Billy did a good imitation of nervous.  Then he
got control of himself, bore down lightly with the hand.  He was laughing
at me.  He knew what he did to me and how he did it and he thought it was
funny as hell.

Deb:  Take your goddam hand off me, Strannix.  Do it now.

Billy:  Who's gonna make me?

Deb:  I will.  And If I have to I'm gonna do my best to break it before I
let go of it.

Billy moved his hand.  I wanted to snatch it back and press it deep...
but he expected that.

Billy:  You mad at me?  What the hell for?

Deb:  If you don't know, you big ape, I'm sure as hell not gonna waste my
time tellin' ya.

Ooooh, men hated that.  And Billy was more man than any ten I'd met.

Billy:  Dammit t'hell, woman!  What crawled up your ass?

Deb:  Not all men are stupid but the ones who are more than make up for all
the rest!

Billy:  Now I'm stupid!

Deb:  Dumb as hell.  Stonebrained, even.

Billy:  You better think about what you just said.

Deb:  Why?  What are you gonna do to change my mind?  I'm not one of your
stupid Dixies!  A smack in the butt and a quick poke in the back seat won't
fool me!

Billy:  Now ya lost me!  What the hell are you talkin' about?  And what have
you got against the back seat?  It's leather!

Deb:  You are such a godawful idiot!  Did it ever occur to you that there
might be some normal woman out there with brains in her head and no silicone
in her tits that might be colossally stupid enough to fall in love with
you??

Billy:  What's not to love?

Deb:  You self important shit!  You concieted bastard!  You are a USDA top
grade jerk!  You take everything and you don't give anything back!  You're
worse than a sponge!  You can wring a sponge out!

Billy:  What the hell!  The woman gets me, ain't that enough?  What more
can she need?!

Deb:  Oh, joy!  What a damn treat!  Billy-by-God-effin'-Strannix!

Billy:  What the hell d'you care!  You think I'm a self-important shit!

I couldn't yell anymore.  My voice dropped to the normal register.  I
could hear it shaking and I knew I was ready to cry.  I hated it when he
made me cry.  I think he did, too, because he suddenly looked alarmed the
way he did when he had to deal with righteous waterworks.

Deb:  Don't you know who I am?  I'm as normal as dirt.  I've got a pretty
good brain in my head and I don't need an ounce of silicone to give you a
handful.  And I fell in love with you the minute I laid eyes on you.  There
are times when I'd give ten years to turn the clock back and change that.
And this is one of 'em, but I can't.  I've gotta live with it.  And five
minutes from now I'm gonna be back to not being able to imagine life
without you.  And you just expect it.

I finished my speech and hurled myself into the cargo bay.  For probably
the first time in recorded memory, Strannix was speechless.  I sat in stony
silence, my heart aching.  It had gone badly, but it was done, and now I
had to stay clear and stay cold until I knew how he was going to respond.

TO BE CONTINUED...


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