I had a conversation with Mike Roark recently.  He was at work and,
naturally, it took place over the phone.

Ed:  Thanks for taking time out of your busy day to speak with us, Mr
Roark.

Mike, please.  Call me Mike.

Ed:  Well, then, Mike...let me know when you're ready and we can start.

Go right ahead...WHAT'S THAT???...Excuse me...

Mike was back and forth all through our conversation.  I'll try to
indicate, as best I can, when Mike was pulled away by the pressures of
his job.

What followed was an urgent exchange.  I heard something about water,
traffic, damned mess, but I never actually figured out what was
happening that had Mike so whipped up.

Thank you!...Sorry, business as usual today.  Just a little bit of
excitement.  Where were we?

Ed:  We really weren't anywhere yet, but that's okay.  We saw how well you
handle excitement in 'Volcano.'

I can't say that...Who?...Excuse me, my daughter's on the other line...

Ed:  Don't mind us, we'll hold.

(slightly aside)Kelly, baby, where are you?...And what's down there?...A
tattoo parlor???...Oh no, no no no, your mother'd have my head.  You turn
right around and go...Baby, you're breaking up...Kelly!  Damn!  (back to
us)  Sorry, she's with me for the summer and...

Ed:  No need to explain.  I have two teenagers of my own.  Now, about
"Volcano'...

Haven't seen it, I'm afraid.

Ed:  Get outa here!  You haven't SEEN it?!

No time...Emmett, how far along on the 10 are they?  Kelly's...all right,
all right, just keep me posted...There hasn't been any time for it, I'm 
afraid.  It premiered in the spring, and I had mudslides to deal with then.
On into the summer there were brownouts, fires, tremors, Kelly to cope
with.  I never had the time to get away.

Ed:  You could rent it.

Last movie I rented was...'The Fugitive', I think.  Don't rent movies
much.

Ed:  You're missing quite a story.

How's that, I was there...Emmett, what is...sorry...Sorry about that.  I
guess I have to manage everything.

Ed:  Please, don't keep apologizing.  Your hands-on management style 
obviously works.

There was a slight interruption, and the voice of Emmett, Mike's second
in command, could be heard.

Wet blanket management style, you mean.

Sounds of a playful scuffle.

Go on, Emmett, earn your paycheck...I don't care how...(into phone)  My
right hand, Emmett...Now, where...

Ed:  You were saying you hadn't seen 'Volcano'.  Have you seen much of Amy
Barnes since that time.

I'd rather not go there.

Emmett was back, briefly.

NO man gone there, I'll guarantee you.

GET...busy, you!  Thank you!...Damn, excuse me, my other line...

Ed:  Go on.

Roark...Kelly?  Now what?...Your tongue?  I don't think so...Kelly!
...kids.

Ed:  That's the truth.  So, to recap, you haven't seen 'Volcano' and you
haven't seen Amy Barnes...what HAVE you been up to, lately?

Emmett, get me the Chief...tell him I'm AT my desk...Look, something's
come up and I need to deal with it now.  Hope I answered your questions.
(click)

That was the extent of my conversation with Mike.  Next time I'll try'
snail mail.

A Question for Mike!

From Beth: Mike, when moving an LA RTD bus I'm not quite sure why it is necessary to push with your arm underneath the arm of the local geologist also helping to push the bus, thus strategically wrapping yourself around her body. (Tho' I myself would not mind this at all, were I a geologist.) Is this for optimum thrust force per square inch? Or is it just to increase the pheronome level of all females watching this sequence?

This was to push over the bus, young lady. And what are pheronomes? Never seen one. I can only fight what I can see.

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