Ed:  Oh, Christ.

Billy:  Yes?

Ed:  What do you want?

Billy:  Do I have to want something?  Except what you've got that's mine?

Ed:  I have no idea what you're talking about.

Billy:  Is that why you keep poking me in the ass with it?  Who's this  
fine lady?

He was laying it on pretty thick, and I found it more than a little
unnerving.I had never seen Strannix turn on the charm, and I was 
glad I wasn't the target.


Ed:  This is the Skeptic...and this is Billy Strannix, your worst 
nightmare.

Skeptic:  I've heard a lot about you...last time I saw you, though, you
didn't look so good.

Billy:  When are people gonna forget about that?  I had a bad headache 
and the eyedoctor fixed me right up.  Ryback got lucky, that's all.  I'm
just a cook, my ass.  I ever see that high-kicking son of a...

Ed:  We get it, big boy.  What are you doing here?

Billy:  Figured it was time for another one of your fool interviews.  We
all know how much help you need.

Ed:  Tell me about it.  Is that why I had to make a telephone call to
a certain person while I was in New Orleans?  Because I was
getting so much help?  Huh?

Billy:  Who'd you call?  You didn't say a word about makin' any calls
from the copshop.  

Skeptic:  When did you go to New Orleans?

Ed:  Later.  Much.  By the way, you should write Sam Gerard a letter
thanking him for getting you out of the wringer in New Orleans.

Skeptic:  Why me?  I never went to New Orleans.

Billy:  I did.  Maybe you better explain.

Ed:  Not on your life.  Beth told you to get away from her, didn't she?

Billy:  Suggested it strongly.  I owe the pipsqueak, she located some
funds I thought I'd gone through with Ryan.  If I want to keep the
girl useful, I need to give her some space.

Ed:  You do as you're told.

Billy:  Don't push it.

Ed (to the Skeptic):  See what I go through?

Skeptic:  Looks like you're enjoying yourself.

Ed:  You think so.

Billy (stretching luxuriously for the benefit of the waitress):  Nobody 
talks any about old Tarzan Lee Jones, I'll be havin' a good day.

If I hadn't been glaring at the Skeptic, I would have missed it.  She
stiffened briefly, just briefly, as though experiencing a hard pinch.  
Then she spoke.  The voice was lower, with definite undertones of 
the Deep South.  Its cadences were definitely male.  Something was 
wrong with the picture, though.  Her eyes were still her own, even 
if her mouth was being commandeered.


Ty:  Say, Boy, where the hell you been?

Billy:  Tyrus!  I'll be damned!

Ed:  What's going on here?  Tyrus?  Is that you?

Ty:  Who else would it be?

Skeptic:  I wish somebody'd tell me what was going on.  Feels like Mike
Tyson's tryin' to punch his way out of my head.

Ed:  It's worse than that.

Ty:  Quit your chatter, woman.  I'm talkin' to Billy.

Skeptic:  What's worse...

Ed:  Tyrus R. Cobb.  God help you now, I can't.

Ty:  We gonna go out and get drunk, Boy?

Skeptic:  Not a chance!  Get out of my head!

Billy:  I'm ready when you are, man.  Say, how come you use
women when you got something to say?

Ty:  Path of least resistance, Boy.  The female mind is easier
to dominate.

The Skeptic's eyes bulged briefly.  If her mind was being
dominated, she didn't seem to know anything about it.


Ed:  Tyrus, can't this wait for another time.  You've got an
unwilling channel.

Skeptic:  That's the truth.  This guy is mean and nuts, I can
feel it.  Get out of my head!

Ty:  Quiet down, wonam, it'll go lots easier on you.

Billy:  Yeah, Baby, you can play this gig with your eyes shut.

Ed:  You know how old that's getting, Billy?  Why don't you try
playing this gig with your mouth shut?

Billy:  You're gonna get hurt.  (To the Skeptic.)  Take it easy,
Baby.  I won't let 'im hurt you.

Ed:  Oh, joy.  Bill Strannix has offered to protect you.  It's your
lucky day.  Got your will made out?

Ty:  You know how I handled women in my day, Boy.  You
ever thought of that?

Billy:  Maintenance is frowned on these days, Tyrus.  Bunch
of wussies.

Skeptic:  Maintenance?  What's he talking about, maintenance?

Ed:  Some of that old fashioned five-fingered convincing.

Skeptic:  SLAPPING people?

Ed:  You are correct, sir...ma'am...whatever.  Thing is, Billy blows
a lot of hot air.  It's Tyrus I'd worry about.  You might end up
smacking yourself in the mush.

Ty:  They got any bourbon in this place?  I could go for some
biscuits and gravy.

Ed:  No, and I don't think so.

Ty:  Who told you to talk?

Skeptic:  Bourbon?  Auugh!  I wouldn't eat or drink that crap
even if they served it!

Ty:  You will if I want it.

Ed:  Something tells me he can't make you do anything you don't
really want to do.

Skeptic:  You sure?

Ed:  No, but it sounds good.

Billy:  This could get ugly.

Ty:  Woman keeps arguing with me, it will.

Billy:  You rock on, Tyrus.  That's all this one here does
is argue with me.  Doesn't matter how many times I
warn her.

Ed:  Oh, bite me, Strannix.  Hard.

Billy:  You'd like it.

Skeptic:  Somebody get this maniac out of my head!

Ty:  That's enough, woman.  You be a good girl.  Billy
and I are gonna go do some serious drinkin' from here
and we're leavin' in about a New York minute.

Ed:  Whoa, Peach.  You take her anyplace against her
will, it's kidnapping.

Billy:  Sometimes I wish to hell your mind wasn't so easy
to read.  Ty goes off in her hide, you'll be callin' in Deputy
Dawg, right?  Tell me one thing, girl.  How can she kidnap
herself?

Ed:  I'll figure something out.  You two can't do this!

Ty:  Who's Deputy Dawg?  That Gerard fella made you so
mad the last time we talked?

Billy:  That's the one.

Ty:  Bigger they are. Billy-boy, the harder they fall.

Ed:  So then the thundering sound I hear every so often is
just Billy's ego taking a nosedive?

Billy:  You really don't want to see thirty five, do you?

Skeptic:  Too late!

Ed:  See if I help you anymore.

There was a marvelous moment here.  The Skeptic's body tried 
over and over, to rise from the booth.  As her fanny left the seat, it was
clear that Tyrus was in ascendancy.  As it landed back on the seat,
it was just as clear that the Skeptic was back in control.  This up 
and down business repeated itself four or five times before Tyrus
gave up.  He was madder than spit when he did.


Ty:  I'll be a striped-ass ape!  Woman, quit gettin in my way!

Skeptic:  I'm not going drinking.  I'm not going anyplace with him!
Forget it!

Billy:  Aw, Baby, don't be like this one here.

Ed:   This one here is still here because she's like she is.  You
lunatic.

Two members of Lakeville's Finest chose that moment to wander
in for lunch.  Billy, always sensitive to threats to his personal freedom,
blew out the side door farthest away from the constabulary.  For all I
know, Tyrus went with him, slipped inside his head and the two of them
tied one on.  Anyhow, I was able to spend the rest of my day quietly.
I anticipate another chance to interview Agent K, and I very much
hope that Tyrus gets his fill of Billy somewhere far away from me.