Estrella
I write clever words on paper,
I sometimes think I don't believe at all.
I've never felt so fake,
So false, I'm such a lie,
I couldn't even look him in the eyes.
He was twenty-five like I was,
But he was deaf and slowly going blind.
He made my faith seem worthless,
The things I hoped were pointless.
And he fought to stay,
But always dreamed that he could leave this place.
chorus
the angles wings,
Will cover you tonight,
Hallelujah.
Press your head,
Against the breast of Christ.
Hallelujah.
It made me feel so empty,
Collapsing on some dirty bathroom floor.
And isn't it just like me,
To mourn his passing breath,
When he will never suffere any more>
Beautiful his pictures,
Fading black and silver.
And I sing of faith,
But his was true, and fierce, and I will miss him.
This song is about a dear friend of ours, Matt Estrella. Matt suffered from a genetic disease called Neufibromatosis 2, which causes tumors to grow on the myelin sheaths of the outer nervous sytem. Eventually, the tumors will cause the nerves to stop functioning. Our friend Matt was deaf when we met him. He was losing his sight, and a lot of feeling in the other parts of his body. The tumors were large, and very noticeable in some places. He was almost the same age as I was, but I was living an amazing life for any 25 year old, while he carried this enormous and hideous burden. It seemed that any time I began to complain to God about what I felt was fair or unfair, somehow I would see or hear from Matt. He was the only person I have ever met that had any right to complain about what was unfair or unjust about his life, but he never did. His faith was beyond measure, and that is why I loved him. Last spring he died while undergoing an operation to remove one of his many tumors. This is just some stupid song I wrote in the basement. I twill never make up for what is missing from this world now that Matt Estrella is gone from it... but it is the best that I could do. Shalom my friend... we will see you again.
Reese Roper-February 4, 2003
Words and Music: Reese
Musicians: Reese- Vox, Electric Guitar, Programming, Piano Saki-Acoustic Guitar, Programming
Monica Smith-BGVs David Fredrickson- Saw on bridge.
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