THE CONFESSION

She sat crying on the beach. She wasnt even sure how long she had waited there but it had felt like years. Sitting in the church waiting for Sonny to show up. She wondered why she was surprised Sonny had disapointed her - wasnt that what he always did? She looked up at the stars and the tears started to fall. She knew what she had to do now. She would have Bobbie bring Michael and they would just stay here in Martinique. She never wanted to return to Port Charles. Too many memories of Sonny and of her dead baby. And Jason. Her years of dreaming that he would love her the way that she loved him and then trying to forge something with Sonny only to get constantly shut down. Maybe things could be different here. Maybe she and Michael could finally be happy. Wasn't that what she had really wanted all along?

"Carly?"

She closed her eyes as she heard his voice. She laughed, amazed that she didn't realize he would come. He always came when she was alone.

"Carly? I've been looking all over for you."

She didnt turn around but just focused on the calm dark waves lapping at the sand beneath her. She couldnt bear to look at him right now. She was too hurt...too tired to try anymore.

He sat down next to her and reached over to touch her shoulder gently. She turned and looked at him her eyes full of tears and he thought his heart would break. "I was really worried about you."

"How did you find me?"

He looked out onto the water and let his hand fall from her when he saw how tightly wound she was. He knew how dangerous Carly could be when she got like this. Especially to him. "Well the minister said you waited in the church until he asked you to leave. So I thought about going to your hotel but then I remembered how much you love the water. How you said sometimes it's the only thing that heals you when you're hurting."

"I guess this means he's not coming," she said already knowing the answer to her question.

"No Carly, he's not."

"He asked you to come didn't he, Jase?"

"Yeah, yeah he did."

"You know what's pathetic? For like three seconds I actually fooled myself into thinking that you gave a fuck. You know that you came because you actually cared. But you're just following orders arent you, Jason? Sonny says jump and you ask how high." Her voice began to fill with anger as she spoke.

"Carly..."

She held her hand up to keep him from continuing. She could see the pain in his eyes but was too overcome by her own to think about it. "Don't Jason. Please I don't want to hear it. The last thing in the world I need to be reminded of is how much you love Sonny and how wonderful he is."

Jason shook his head, it had been so long but he still knew her so well. "Yeah Sonny asked me to come. But I told him no. He asked me to break your heart but..." He broke off and looked back towards the water. "I cant do that to you, Carly. So I told him he'd have to do it himself."

"Then what are you doing here, Jase?"

"Because he was just going to leave you here all alone and waiting for him. He never had any plans of coming, he just assumed you'd figure it out."

Carly laughed bitterly. "Oh and this is the man I wanted to marry. Silly, stupid Carly."

"Hey..." His voice hardened and he touch her knees which were curled up against her body. "..don't say that."

"Why not when it's true, Jason? It's long past the time I started taking responsibility for my choices. And Sonny has got to be one of my worst."

Jason smiled ruefully at her but didnt say anything.

"You knew this was going to happen, didn't you? You always knew it would turn out this way."

Jason was quiet for a few moments. "Yeah I didnt think Sonny was ever really right for you, Carly. He's too cold, too unfeeling, too impatient."

"Yeah I guess dealing with me requires alot of patience, doesn't it? Well no one knows that better than you I guess. So you never answered my question, Jase. Why did you come after you told Sonny you wouldn't?"

He brushed her hair off her shoulder. "What was I supposed to do? Just sit there on the couch wondering if you were okay or trying to figure out which crazy thing you were gonna do next."

"Saint Jason to the rescue." She shrugged making him move his hand. "Well I don't need you to rescue me anymore. I got over that when you left town without even telling me goodbye. Which by the way is what started this whole mess in the first place."

"Don't do that Carly..." his voice was angry. "Don't turn this all around on me because you're angry and you're hurt. You slept with Sonny. You married Sonny last summer after I offered to take you away, so don't pretend this wasn't your choice."

"Oh yeah, some choice I had. Run off with the man I loved who had made it abundantly clear that he never loved me. Or marry a man I despised. You know compared to the continual heartbreak and let down I always got from you, Sonny started to seem like a safe option!" She said angrily.

"I didnt have to come here. I didnt have to look for you. I came because I do care about you. Because I cant bear the thought of you hurting and not help." Jason was on the verge of yelling now.

"Oh well then I thank you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for taking pity on me after you abandoned me. Oh and let's not forget about Michael. Oh wait that's right. You already forgot about him a long time ago, didn't you Jase?"

He picked up a rock and sent it hurtling it into the ocean as hard as he could. "You never change do you, Carly? You never grow up. You sit here and yell at me and blame me for your mistakes because you're mad and you want to throw a tantrum. And if you think for one second I'm going to sit here and listen to you, then too damn bad, cause I'm not."

Carly stood up so quickly she almost fell over. She heard thunder in the background and realized it was just about to start raining. How appropriate, she thought. "Oh that's great, that's just perfect! Tell me how you really feel, Jason. Don't hold anything back for once. You might as well, just get it off your chest once and for all!"

Jason stood up and leaned over til his face was close to hers. "I am so sick of you never once owning up to any of your mistakes. I am so sick of you blaming me for the things that you do. I am sick of you accusing me of never caring about you or Michael when I have given both of you everything I have! And most of all I'm just plain tired of you using me as your excuse to fuck up your life and Michael's!" The anger in Jason's face was emphasized by the lightening flashing behind him.

"Fuck you, Jason! You know why? Because you are nothing but a coward. That's right, a pathetic little coward who gave up when things got just the slightest bit difficult!" The rain had started to fall and Carly couldn't tell if it was making her face wet or the tears she was crying. "You got mad at AJ so you gave up Michael after you promised you wouldn't. You shut me out everytime I got too close to you and might disturb your perfect little world! You're the one to blame here, Jason! YOU!" She stuck her finger in his face. "Maybe you wouldnt have lost either of us if you'd ever worked up enough courage to fight for us."

Jason hit her hand away from his face. "Oh so now I'm a coward for trying to save you and Michael? I'm a coward because I refused to let you destroy his life and lose him to AJ? You would have lost Michael to Aj if we had done what we wanted, Carly! I kept that from happening. Not because I was scared but because you're all that mattered to me! Both of you!"

"Oh well thanks for telling me that when it actually mattered, Jason!"

"Why? If you had known how much I wanted you, you would have moved heaven and earth to make it happen without a second thought to the consequences!"

Carly pushed a strand of wet hair out of her face. "Because I loved you, Jase! I loved you so much." Her voice cracked as she realized how much they had lost. How much they had both suffered.

"That was always your excuse, wasn't it?" He yelled at her.

"Yeah I guess it was. But that doesn't matter anymore. None of it does. Because I hate you, as much right now as I ever loved you!" Carly was so angry she wanted to hit him, to hurt him, to make him feel every tiny thing she had suffered since he had left town.

Jason looked at her, breathing heavily in her anger. She was drenched with rain and her face was a mixture of anger and pain, but she had never looked more beautiful to him than she did in that moment. The deep longing he'd always felt for her came flooding back to him like a tidal wave and suddenly all the horrible things they had done to each other were lost in his desire for her. He grabbed her face roughly, violently, and pulled her mouth to his, kissing her hard.

Carly almost cried out in shock. She felt Jason's mouth pressing against hers. He was kissing her with a violence that took her breath away. She opened her own mouth to his and felt his tongue enter her mouth.

Jason moved his hand to the back of the head and pushed her mouth into his even harder. His other hand reached around her back and waist and began crushing her against him. He kissed her for every night he wanted her but couldnt have her. He kissed her for how much it had hurt to watch her marry Sonny. He kissed her for every hurtful word they'd ever said to one another and for every bit of pain she had ever caused him. But mostly Jason kissed her for every time he hadn't and should have.

Carly felt her body melting as she felt Jason's body pressing against hers. She reached her hands up to his hair and pulled his head down as hard as he was pulling her own. She felt his tongue exploring her mouth and answered with her own. She felt Jason groan into her mouth and realized how aroused she was.

Jason was even more aroused than she was. He ran his hand down her back and pressed her body into his. He groaned again as he felt her breasts crushing against him and she began battling his tongue with her own.

Carly felt Jason's erection pressing into her and she felt her body respond. She was suddenly reminded of all those times she had attempted to get this reaction from him only to be shut down and she got scared. Carly let her hands drop from his head and pulled her face away.

Jason felt her pull her mouth from his and looked down at her. He dipped his mouth lower and kissed her neck. He looked up and tried to kiss her again. When she pulled away and looked in her eyes, he saw how scared she was. "Carly..."

"Jase, I can't do this." She looked at him sadly.

Jason felt as if she'd just ripped his heart out. "Carly, please." He brought his hands up to her face and rested his forehead against hers.

"I've already had my heart broken once today, I don't think I would survive if you did it too." She reached up and stroked his cheek. She put her hands on the back of his head and kissed his forehead gently. Then let go and started to walk away.

Jason stood there breathing heavily. He could still feel her lips and her body against his. "Where are you going?"

She turned around and looked at him. "I'm going to stay here. Just me and Michael." She stopped after a few steps and turned around to face him. "I will always love, Jason Morgan." She smiled sadly and started walking away again.

Jason watched her walk away for a few moments and then went walking after her. He caught her wrist and spun her around "I won't let you go, Carly. Not this time."

Carly cocked her head sadly. "Just let me go, Jason. There's no reason for me to go back now." She pulled her wrist away gently.

Jason grabbed her hand before she could go. "No." He said forcefully. "I have spent way too long letting you go or turning you away. I can't do it anymore."

Carly felt her anger resurfacing and ripped her hand away. "Why not, Jason? Huh? Why can't you just let me walk away before we both get hurt?" She was yelling again.

"Because I love you!" He yelled back.

"Don't say that!" She screamed. "Don't stand there and tell me you love me when we both know it's not the way I want you to. You never loved me like I wanted you to!" She was crying again.

"How can you say that?" He screamed back at her. His face was intense but there was softness in his eyes. "How can you even think that, Carly, after all I've done? Do you think for one minute that I would have done any of it if I didn't love you?" Carly looked at him her eyes wide with tears. She started to say something but he stopped her.

"I'm not just talking about coming here tonight. I'm talking about everything, from the very first day we met." His voice softened and he took her face into his hands. "I have always loved you Carly. I loved you at Jake's. I loved you when you showed up on my doorstep pregnant and soaking wet begging me to help you."

Carly's tears were running down her cheeks but she couldn't help but smile at his words. She reached up and touched his hands which were still grasping her face.

"I loved you the night you called the Dock's Strike." She laughed. "I loved you when you shot Tony and got sent to Ferncliffe. I loved you when you got out and when you married Aj. Carly, I loved you through Tony, through Aj, through Sonny, and even Robin. I loved you through all of it, every single minute." His eyes were shining with tears of their own as he finally said all the things he felt for her and some he didnt realize until that very moment. He moved his hand down and caressed her bottom lip. "It was always you, Carly."

Carly smiled at him through her tears. "Oh God, Jase..."

He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her in a fierce hug. She laughed joyfully over his shoulder. He drew back from her and looked into her eyes.

She threw her head back laughed again with so much happiness that she felt her heart was going to explode. She threw her self into his arms and he picked her up off the ground and swung her around. "DID YOU HEAR THAT WORLD?" She yelled at the top of her lungs. "JASON MORGAN LOVES ME!!!" She was crying and laughing at the same time.

Jason set her down again and smiled at her while wiping a tear off her cheek. He knelt down and removed her wedding band then kissed her hand lovingly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring set he had given her while she was married to Aj.

Carly gasped. "Oh god, Jase. Where did you get those?"

He grinned up at her. "I found them in your room at Sonny's." His smile turned tender. "May I?" He asked softly.

Carly laughed again. "The last time I had to beg you to get you to do it."

Jason smiled and rolled his eyes, understanding what she wanted. "Carly Roberts Benson Quartermaine Corinthos, can I please have the honor of putting these rings on your finger?"

She grinned. "Well if you drop the Quartermaine and Corinthos, I guess it would be all right."

Jason smiled and slipped them on her finger and then bent his head down and kissed her hand again. He stood up and kissed her gently. "So, what next?" He asked running a hand through her hair.

Carly looked over her shoulder and then grinned up at him. "Well, I know of a church not too far from here..."

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