Another Nite-Mare Gig Experience...

"When We Were Spinal Tap..."

By Ralph Storey

Subject: Nightmare Gig Experiences

Date: Wed, 24 Sep 1997 12:11:20 -0400

From: Ralph Storey jstorey@USGS.GOV

 

It was the mid 80's, and we were playing an absolute dive in Falls

Church, VA called Misty's. This place was SO BAD, that cockroaches

ran down the bar while you would be drinking (I'm not making this up).

 

We purposely did not invite many friends (especially girls) because it

was such a dive. As luck would have it, two old friends from Florida

were in town, and insisted on going.

 

We were primarily a hard rock/metal cover band, with 2 guitar players.

One guy played a strat/explorer/flying V (not at the same time), while the

other guy stuck to his trusty Les Paul, both with Marshall stacks.

 

The stage was so small, I had to put my bass stack (two 1-15" cabs) on

the drum riser (hey it was the 80's, YOU HAD to have a drum riser), with

only about 20 inches of cab bottom on the riser, the other 10 inches was

hanging in mid-air.

 

I had just redone my cabs, putting new expanded steel grating on the

fronts to protect the speakers. Mid way through the second set, the Les

Paul guy decides to be Johnny Bad and jump up on the drum riser during

the other guitar player's solo.

 

All of a sudden, my sound gets muffled; I turn around to look and see the

guitarist had slipped, and done A MASSIVE FACE PLANT into my amp. He

regains his footing, only to find out one of his tuning pegs is STUCK in the

grill of the cab. He's standing there tugging away, and finally after four

tries get's the guitar unstuck and jumps off the riser.

 

My stack is now swaying, and nearly fell over, taking the drums with it

(our drummer at this point had pupils the size of saucers).

 

The guy runs to the front of the stage, and tries to act like nothing has

happened (like Nigel Tufnel in Spinal Tap, after the roadie picks him up

when he can't get up). He goes to hit a power chord, and

BRRANNNGGG, totally out of tune.

 

At this point the other guitar player notices, and yells "grab my V, grab

my flying V".

 

Sounds like a good plan only there's a problem - Flying V guy is from the

Jimmy Page school of Guitar placement (like down at the knees),

whereas Les Paul guy is from the Jazz Bass player school of guitar

placement (like under his chin). The problem is compounded by the fact

that the Les Paul guy is 5 inches SHORTER TOO!

 

Needless to say, the chord work suffers, not sounding much better than

the out of tune Les Paul.

 

We figure it's time to throw in the towel and take a break after that tune,

so the Les Paul guy can retune and regain his composure. My Florida

friends think the whole things a hoot, although I'm mortified because I've

been telling them how great and professional our band is.

 

My only regret was that it was before video cams were cheap, I'd pay

anything now to have it on tape.

 

Jay Storey

 

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