Entry 3: August 1, 2001: Finally, I've come back to ramble again. I feel like the Rock. The last time I updated was almost around the time he left. I just haven't had much time or stuff to ramble about. But I do have a few things on my mind and I feel I could get my thoughts together if I wrote them down. Maybe someone will read this and even give me some ideas or something.
Basically, I am disgusted with my job. Three years ago, I graduated from Penn State with a Journalism degree only to turn around and have that degree mean ABSOLUTELY nothing because I didn't have any writing experience. So thanks to the confidence, or lack thereof, that the Daily Times gave me after I had an interview with them, I somehow ended up back at the job that I worked at during college, The Wall. It was really only a means to have some money while I continued looking for another job. Also, my dad was on me a lot at that time, because I basically was wasting my days playing video games and not doing anything productive. Instead, the job ended up becoming a career that I no longer want to pursue. I started working part time, but after three months, the Manager and Assistant manager were both leaving. One got promoted to another (read: better) store and the other decided that the Wall wasn't for her. So they needed a 2nd assistant. The Manager at the time came to me and asked me if I wanted to become that 2nd assistant. Having no future prospects (or a license to get there) at the time, I accepted the offer. Suddenly, I was working 35 hour weeks with random ass scheduling, not knowing from one week to another when I was working. Thus, making it very hard to plan anything or work out something to find another job that I went to school for. Well, after about a year of this, our new manager at the time basically sucked and screwed us all over by coming in late or not coming in at all. Making the assistant and me and another key holder doing all the work that she was supposed to be doing. Finally, they fired her and for a whole summer, they had no manager for us. So we basically fended for ourselves again. Then they moved the assistant over to Springfield and brought their assistant to my store to managed. However, after the manager went AWOL at Springfield, they brought our manager back to Springfield and now it was just me and the other 2nd assistant Jason running the store. Finally, after a month of this, I went on vacation and came back to find that they filled the manager position at my store. For some reason, I was very uneasy about how they did this. I mean, I knew I wasn't ready to become manager yet, having very little experience in managing and no good managers to have learned from but I still did not like finding this news out when I got back from my vacation. Some guy was supposed to fill in for me to help the store while I was away for a few days, then I come back with him calling me asking where something was located in the store. Well, this guy was not supposed to be there that day, so I asked him why he was there. He said something like "Oh, I'm your new manager" and thus began another screwjob that the Wall laid down on me. This new manager did nothing but sit in the back of the store and talk on the phone. Basically I was doing all his duties. Now, I came to assume after a while that this guy's main purpose was to train me for manager and he would move on to a bigger store. The DM and me at the time were pretty close and I knew he liked me enough to promote me. However, the guy didn't teach me shit and I had to learn most of it all on my own. But maybe that was what he was going for all along. Finally, he got promoted to another store and I got moved up to manager with my assistants consisting of Jason and Amy, two people I liked very much and could trust to work with.
By this time, I was pretty much putting off getting another job. For the past year, not even thinking about places I could go to. I learned the duties of a manager pretty quickly and had a helpful staff. But then my DM quit (or got let go, whichever version of the story you believed) and was replaced with a DM in training. By the way, I should mentioned that around this time or earlier, the Wall was bought out by a new company (Transworld) and this would be one of the many reasons why I no longer like my job. After a few months, the districts realign and we were yet assigned to a new DM. When I first worked for the Wall, it was exciting and fun to work for. Music was the only thing that mattered and that the company cared for. However, with each new acquistion and each new owner, the company became more of a heartless soul and their employees more like paid indentured servants. Instead of letting us set up our stores how we felt it would help our business, this new anal company wanted everything set to plan. This would be all fine and dandy, however every Wall store was different and some of these stores (mine included) could not always look like they wanted. Anyway, with these new changes came new complaints from my staff making it a less enjoyable atmosphere. Not to mention, that I worked in MacDade Mall, who's clientel over the past few years have deteriorated worst than could be imagined and you got yourself in a pretty shitty situation.
Finally, the factors that would most determine my feelings of today follows. The company decided to followed a strict dress code. Black pants, black socks, black belt, black polishable shoes along with the Wall or FYE(which the store will soon be named) shirt. This would be good, if we were working in a business that dictated it. However, our customers are mainly teenagers who like coming into music stores and associating with the employees at times. If we are all dressed to the hilt, how is our customers supposed to relate to us. We are selling music for heaven's sake. Shouldn't we be more inclined to be dressed closer to what our business is all about. Although, I did not fully liked the dress code, I went along with it and just chalked it up as something else to hate. But it was the constant bitching of my staff that really started to annoy me. None of these people, and I mean none of them wanted to conform. And when they did conformed, I heard the bitching throughout. Even now, some have not fully met the requirements and I dread the consequences if my new DM comes in and sees this. Oh by the way, there's another reason. We were yet assigned to a new DM a few months ago. 4 DM's in 1 year. This instability was yet another factor in my what will soon be imminent decision to leave. My staff was becoming more difficult everyday, not with me per se, but just overall. And I couldn't blame them because I had the same complaints. Plus, both of my assistants and my one reliable associate have all been threatening to leave because they are all sick of the BS this company has to offer too. Hearing this news makes me want to get out even sooner because then I am stuck with the situation of having to find new associates and assistant managers. The MacDade Mall has become a cesspool. Stores have been closing at an alarming rate. It is a total wasteland of no good talented people to help fill the positions in my store. And when I do hire someone, they screw the hell out of me by calling out sick or making up stories why they can't come in a certain day. I've come to the decision that I no longer want to be responsible for a team of people. I want to be responsible for only myself and I am confident that if this were to happened, I could succeed in ways that could not happen in this job. The money is definitely not what has kept me here for so long. It is laughable at best. I was offered to move up to Springfield a few months ago but I turned it down, knowing that the Wall is not in my future. This is not what I set out to be and basically this has become my major point in why I want to leave. So to get out of this anal, continuous bitching, screwjob of an environment, I need to make a change.
At the end of August, I go on vacation. I have some deep soul searching to do then. I plan to come back and give my two weeks as soon as I return. Even if I don't have a job lined up. This is the decision that scares me most. The loss of money and the realization that there might not be anything out there for me for a while. However, I have saved up a considerable amount of money, I live at home and have no major bills to speak of. By leaving the company, I will finally find time to get my license, buy a car, and to find a real job. If worst comes to worst, I have a few options to roll out. I could find a part time job for a few days a week so that I have some spending money while I look for a new job somewhat related to what I went to school for. If this search ends up becoming an epic journey, I could always go back to school or go to Chubb institute and get a job related to computers. I just know I need to get out of retail before Christmas. I haven't enjoyed Christmas for the last two years. I just have a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that what I am doing is not the right decision but as of right now, it's the only decision and I just hope I don't soon regret it.
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