We Get Results!

With over 12 million daily visitors to our site, our six Information Specialists get plenty of practice getting you the information you need. As demonstrated by the sample results below, we've learned to do a lot with the stack of magazines and library books at our disposal. Query: Nova Scotia Response: "There's a lovely recipe for EZ Nova Scotia Salmon Cakes in Woman's Day Presents: Crock Pot Cookery. I've only tried the version that uses the skim milk. The richer stuff gives me tummy tantrums, if you get my meaning. My daughter, Minnie, has the same problems. Ever since she was six...." Response Time: 6 weeks Query: "Counting Crows" Response: "I've found a nice piece on aviaries and bird watching in the March 1987 issue of Ranger Rick. There's a lovely photo of a crested thrush on page 30. You might also look at back issues of the Geographic. I'd look myself, but Verne's got 'em all to himself, looking for indecent photos of naked natives." Response Time: 38 days Query: +photo* +(naked nude) +(women nymphos vixen) Response: "Look here, you little pervert. I've got your e-mail address and -- thanks to Infoseek -- I've got your mother's address, too. Believe you me, she'll hear about this! And when she does I hope she tans your hide enough to whup those nasty little thoughts out of your nasty little head. And another thing, young man...." Response Time: 83 nanoseconds Copyright © 1997 This Is A Parody, OK? All rights reserved.