“Ummmm.... okay, here we go.” I paused and took a deep breath. “Rob, you are a gay faggot, and I want you to stay away from me for the rest of your life,” I recited, then turned to Jenn and Jo. “How did that sound? Think it’d work?”
“Well, no, but we can always hope,” Jenn decided.
I rolled my eyes. “You know, you’re right. It’s not even worth my time to try to convince gay-boy that I don’t still want him desperately.”
“How can he still think that?!” Jo exclaimed. “I mean, you’ve made it perfectly obvious that you want nothing to do with him, and it still hasn’t sank in.”
“Sunk, Jo, that would be sunk,” I corrected her.
“Sank,” she insisted.
“Sunk,” I shot back.
“SANK!!!” she shouted.
“SUNK!!!!!!”
“What makes you think you’re right?”
“I am,” I retorted. “That’s all there is to it.”
“Explain your reasoning, then maybe I’ll think about it... and decide you’re wrong,” she ordered with a smirk.
“Grammatically correct is, ‘sink’, ‘sank’, ‘have sunk’,” I explained. “You said ‘hasn’t’ before it, so that makes it ‘sunk’!” I sat back and folded my arms across my chest triumphantly. “Ha!”
“Uh....” Jo stammered. “Uh... uh... I don’t believe you.”
“You are such a dork,” I asserted.
“Oh, stop whining, you schmoe,” she whined.
“Stop whining about me whining, and if you call me a schmoe one more time today, I’m going to steal a gun and blow you to smithereens.”
“OKAY ALREADY, SHUT UP!!!” Jenn yelled. “You can argue about grammar and whose the whiniest sometime when we have nothing better to discuss.”
I looked over at Jo and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know about you, but I’m drawing a blank on anything better to discuss.”
“Yeah, me too,” she sighed. “You’re whinier than me.”
“You little freaks,” Jenn said. “Next Sunday the new pastor starts. Reverend Walker Hanson. Pastor Walker, that was what he preferred being called, was it not?”
“PASTOR WALKER RULES!!!” Jo cried. “YES!”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to meet the family,” I concurred. “I hope they’re all as cool as him. Nine new people in one shot, wow.”
“So many people they had to put an addition on the parsonage,” Jenn put in.
“Have they done that yet?” Jo wanted to know. “I figured they’d have to.”
“They just started,” she replied. “They better be fast if they wanna have it built by the time the family moves in. Do you guys know when they’re movin’ in?”
“They haven’t called recently to tell me for sure,” I answered sarcastically. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out.”
“Darnit,” Jo mumbled. “You know, they’re gonna be right down the street from us, so if they’re hot...”
“Jo, is that all you ever think about?”
She looked thoughtful for a moment, considering the question. “Well, occasionally I think about school. But only when I’m forced to.”
I sighed. Sunday can’t come soon enough, I realized. I never thought getting a new pastor could be so exciting.
* * * * * * * *
“Irresistible, baby you are. You are, you are,” I sang along with the radio as I brushed my hair. “You’re so adorable, baby you are. You are, you are.”
“Hey Indi,” my 11-year-old sister Angleia addressed me casually, entering my bedroom wearing a long, navy blue dress. “How do I look?”
“Fabulous,” I laughed as she spun around in front of my full-length mirror. “Why, on this particular morning, do you ask?” I inquired with a wink.
She giggled gleefully. “I think you know. Do you think Adam will like it?”
“Of course,” I responded quickly. “If you wore a paper bag, he would think it the most profound fashion statement ever made.”
She laughed very hard. “Hmm, maybe I should try that sometime.”
“Whoa, hold it, girlie!” I cautioned. “The rest of the church might not appreciate your fashion statement quite so much. In fact, I reckon you might even get thrown out of church for it.”
“Well,” she sniffed defiantly. “Hmf.” She turned and walked out the door.
I shook my head in amazement. Things had definitely been different around here since Leia got into boys. More interesting, though I could no longer con a dirty look out of her by teasing her about boys liking her. Alas, one of my favorite pastimes, gone down the drain. I gave my reflection a slight smile, then headed downstairs to Sunday morning breakfast.