The Sun
Wednesday June 16, 1999
He says: "I think the moment is right now to tell the world who I really am." Boyzone have just finished a sell-out UK tour and we've sold millions of records but I can't begin to enjoy that success until I can be the realme. Stephen's timing also owes a lot to the strength of his feeling for his partner - Dutchman Eloy de Jong. The couple met four years ago at a showbiz bash in London, but they only began their relationship in November last year. Until then, Eloy, 26, was part of the Dutch boy band 'Caught In The Act'. The group topped the chart in Europe and the Far East and sold four million albums world-wide before splitting to pursue solo careers. Stephen recalls: "I kept bumping into Eloy at gigs and we became good friends. But last year we realised our feelings were stronger than friendship. I was nervous about being discovered but it felt so right. The strain of keeping their relationship a secret has been enormous. Stephen says: "There have always been rumours but more recently I've heard that someone who worked with Boyzone in the past was planning to sell a story about my private life. I wanted my fans to hear the facts from me and Eloy before anyone else got the chance to publish a twisted version of the truth. That would have been devastating. I hope the fans who have supported us from day one will respect my honesty. I want to reassure them that this will not affect Boyzone. We'll be around for years to come. "Anyone who has seen us performing live knows I always give 100% and I will continue to do that. But the pressure to be something I am not and the fear of a hurtful story being printed has just become too intense." Eloy nods in agreement and says: "I will always be there for Stephen. We will get through this. With the support of our fans I know life can be brilliant for us." Until now, the couple have gone to remarkable lengths to keep their relationship secret. Stephen says: "We want to be with each other all the time, but we can never be seen to travel together or arrive at a restaurant or hotel at the same time. We are under a lot of pressure anyway because of our demanding schedules. But when you add booking twice as many flights or cars, then that pressure becomes unbearable. "Until now we have never been able to relax and enjoy the simple pleasure of just going for a drink together. If giving this interview allows us to do that then all the agonising will have been worthwhile." The other members of Boyzone - Ronan Keating, Shane Lynch, Keith Duffy and Mikey Graham - and their wives and girlfriends have welcomed Eloy into the group's close-knit entourage. Stephen says: "They have all been brilliant. Eloy gets on really well with everyone. They accepted him straight away and made him part of the family that we are." Stephen has known he was gay since he was a teenager. He says: "At school I dated girls but by the time I was 15 I knew they weren't for me. I was well respected among my classmates because I came from a rough part of Dublin and stood up to the class bullies. I'm sure some of the other kids could see that I was different but it was never an issue." Stephen's problems only began when he answered an audition for Boyzone in 1993 and was snapped up by the band's management. He recalls: "I desperately wanted to be a pop star but I decided right away that to admit to being gay would be to say goodbye to any chance of fame. So at first, I told no one in the band or management. To be honest, I'm sure they suspected but they were good enough never to raise the subject. I was so keen to succeed that suppressing my real feelings was a small price to pay. I'm sure that anyone that age would have done the same thing. I didn't lie - I just wasn't completely honest." As the Boyzone story went from strength to strength, the pressure on Stephen to talk about girlfriends also grew stronger. Over the years, and particularly the past 12 months, he has become adept at dodging awkward questions. He reveals: "I have worked extremely hard over the last six years and not once have I really been able to relax and be myself. I say again - I have never, ever denied being gay. I don't know how many times I've used the phrase 'I'll settle down when the right person comes along.' Now Ronan and the boys have started families, it has become harder to explain." A year after joining the band, Stephen broke the news to his family that he was gay. He told his sister Michelle, 24, first - and her reaction surprised him. He reveals: "She smiled and said 'Steve, I always thought you were." It took the brave youngster another year to pluck up the courage to tell the rest of his relatives. He recalls: "I broke the news to my dad Martin over a pint in our local pub in Dublin. It had been preying on my mind to tell him and halfway through a conversation I just blurted out 'Dad. Look I'm gay.' I knew if my dad accepted the way I was, my mum would too. "At first he just sat there and then he smiled and said, 'Don't worry son, there's nothing to be afraid of. We all love you.' I couldn't have asked for more support." Stephen's mum Margaret and brothers Tony, 16, Alan, 23, and Mark, 28, were also completely accepting. He says: "It's a great feeling to know that your family loves you unconditionally." before Stephen confided in his family he admits he was incredibly lonely. He says: "I had so many sleepless nights worrying about what would be in the next morning's papers. The lack of girlfriends obviously
created a lot of rumour. I remember one morning waking up and feeling
so depressed that I thought about running away giving it all up and trying
to forget everything. I had to make a choice. I could either break down
and cry or stand up and be positive. That's what I'm doing now. This
interview is the most positive thing I have ever done. He adds: "I have
thought long and hard about this moment, but it's the Nineties and hopefully
people are open-minded enough to accept me for what I
Despite being consistently written
off by the music press, Boyzone show every sign of continuing their success
into the new Millennium - another reason why Stephen has decided to tell
his story. He says: "How could I plan a future and still be hiding
this secret, I hope my story helps teenage kids to face up to whatever
problems they have and encourages parents to be as understanding
as mine have been."
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The Sun
Saturday June 19, 1999 Fans Back Gay Star's Gig BOYZONE star
Stephen Gately performed in public last night for the first time
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