![]() Beathoven Studying the Beatles
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The Let it Be Syndrome Dejanews Archeology Unit; Day 223 Year 3003. Professor Doctor Hank Guava of the Dejanews Archeological Unit proposed a new theory on the sudden demise of the RMB (rec.music.beatles) group in late 1998. According the Guava, the group collapsed under the weight of its own inertia created by the constant discussion of the Beatles breakup. What is emerging, Guava said, is that the sudden end of the RMB mirrors almost exactly the same conditions that recent extraoscularparapsychology has found in the Beatles' breakup itself. Under these conditions a group of people locked into a repetitive situation become unwilling protagonists, each willing the other to break out of the loop. No single individual wants to take responsibility for termination. Each accuses the other of non-activity or of counterproductive activity. Finally, unable to break out, the group as a whole looks for external factors to blame. In the case of the RMB the externals are the so-called trolls and flames. Guava expounded the theory that constant discussion of the Beatles demise and factors leading to that demise led empathetically to the same condition in the RMB. Behind this all, he said, was the long term deeply buried wish for their own eventual rebirth in the form if the 'ritual reunion of the RMB' as a mirror of the eternal Beatle reunion urge. That reunion, as we now know, never took place in either case. We can see their death-wish in the later behaviour of the core members of the RMB, he went on, although they knew that any form of reply to negative posts only served to encourage the originator, they found themselves unable to resist the temptation. Indeed, the core members were the worst offenders, and in terms of the RMB, their own worst enemies. Exhausted by their negative activies they had no time left to follow up the positive posts which still arrived every day in the newsgroup, in vain. Finally, they simply fell into the notorious "giant worm" thread loops blaming each other and external forces for the situation they had in fact created themselves. The decisive black hole loop took three months and tens of thousands of posts to collapse, most members only capable of posting er and ah for the last month. We are still investigating the story that the so-called mythical saki figure finished the group off with a sudden reappearance where she sent a terminal two word posting. What those two words were remains shrouded in mystery, but the most recent theory is that she simply posted the words mick jagger. Guava was unable to explain why most core RMB members soon became members of the RMH (rec.music.hanson) which formed only months after the collapse of the RMB, but he did point out that within seven years the RMH also collapsed under its own weight under almost identical conditions. He was also unable to confirm or deny whether appellations such as saki, neohippie [sic] and FurDickAll applied to real people or groups of people as has been recently suggested. However, he rejected completely the theory that some members of the Beatles actually contributed to the group under cover names. None of them knew how to use a computer, Guava said, which required complex mechanical operations of at least finger at the time. Since we have already established that Lennon, at least, was completely incapable of even holding a guitar, it seems reasonable to assume that none of the others could operate a keyboard, at least not while simultaneously looking at a computer screen. Another recent theory, which Guava refused to comment on, was that the RMB had actually created all the music of the Beatles simply so that it could form the newsgroup. Tanaka, the author of this idea, says that it was obvious that the individual members of the Beatles themselves could not have produced the volume of music in the time available. It was clear from the discussions within the group that they had inside knowledge that could only have come creating the music themselves. Alan Pollack clearly wrote all the Beatles' songs, Tanaka said, but he admitted that some individual members of the Beatles may have influenced the process. Work by the Dejanews Archeology Unit on the surviving servers continues, but many clusters of the remaining raid arrays are known to be defective. We may be getting near the end of our ability to recover new data, Guava said, but he immediately blamed Tanaka for contradictory reports. Tanaka in turn said it was Guava's spouse who was the problem. Since she arrived I have not been able to have a meaningful conversation with Guava, Tanaka said. The malaise in the unit runs deep and the suspicion is that the unit itself is in the grip of what has become known as the Let It Be syndrome. ian hammond ================================================== "Limitless undying love which shines around me..." |