Beathoven
Studying the Beatles
(c) Ian Hammond 1999
All rights reserved
RMB Beatles Recording Session Transcripts Transcripts of Beatle sessions as viewed by members of the RMB have just become available:
Ringo: Where are all the others? I've been playing chess here for six days straight now. John: We were in the loo, not having a joint because Paul said we always recorded straight Martin: Alright boys, here's the high stools, what's the next masterpiece John: We've called it "Are Em Bee" George: That's a daft name! John: Well, it's better than the name of some fooking apple! Ringo: Granny bloody Smith! George: You can call it what you want, you don't even have to call it anything at all, what ever pleases you
John: Now Ringo, I've just read here that we directed you in the things you could play, is that right? Ringo: Yerrup John: And that I told you to play on the offbeat because I can't count? Ringo: Yerrup John: Why didn't I tell you to play on the onbeat -- because that would make even it easier again? Ringo: You always were daft John, but you've got soul John: Well, on this track I only want one beat per bar -- but come in loud! Ringo: It doesn't really matter what beat I play, or words I say John: Get on! Why not? Ringo: Well, Paul comes in at night and re-records my drum tracks anyhow! John: [whispering] he doesn't really Ringo:[whispering] he doesn't? John: [whispering] no, he gets this guy called Bernie to do them
Martin: Alright boys, the red lights on George: What key's it in. What am I supposed to play? John: It's a standard blues in E, with the first six bars in 6/8, then there's a 4/4 section, with the dominant replaced by the bIII (which is the V of bVI), sliding back to a standard.... ALL: JOHN! IMAGE JOHN! John: Oops. Sorry. Oh Yeh, It's, like, just a twelve-bar, but, you know, I can't explain it, it's me double off-beats, you'll just have to pick it up, yeah, you know, like...
[The band plays and stops] George: Are we going to have a solo or something Paul: Well, I think... ALL: THERE YOU GO PAUL, TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE GROUP AGAIN
John: Yes, I'll do the first solo, you do the second George George: I feel like it will be a dismal solo, can't you get George Martin to tell me what to play Paul: Martin, walk over to George and tell him that he's dreary Martin: That's dreary George, but I'll apologise for saying that in thirty years time
Paul: John, why don't you change to second verse from "lie" to "die" John: that sounds okay [Paul, thirty years later: "yes, well he didn't have any idea where to go with the song, so I had to finish it off for him..."]
Paul: Could we have two beats in each bar? Starr: I'M LEAVING THE BAND George: What for -- I WANTED TO LEAVE Starr: I'm going to Sardinia to write a song ALL: What can you write about in Sardinia Ringo: They have great Calamari there!
ALL: CAN YOU GUYS TAKE A SMOKO, WE WANT TO HAVE SERIOUS DRAMA WITH EACH OTHER
[Martin and Emerick leave]
John: Right, they're gone. God, I'm sick of making records -- all these people, we never get any peace Paul: How'd that recipe for cookies work out last night George George: Okay, but I had to use margarine instead of butter Ringo: Now, about that Russian opening John: You mean the Kasparov variant Ringo: Yeh John: The famous so-called "Pig Move" Paul: You always were a maneuvering swine Lennon...
[two hours later, Martin and Emerick return]
Martin/Emerick: CAN WE COME BACK NOW! George: Yes, we've made a decision Martin: [Fearfully] in what regard John: We want to put the entire album out backwards Martin: [relieved] Fine. I was worried you wanted to double track the vocals Emerick: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS -- I'M LEAVING! George: But, I was next -- WHEN DO I GET MY TURN?
John: I'm not happy with the song lads Paul: What's wrong with it! John: You didn't help me, you sabotaged the whole fooking thing! Paul: You told me NOT to play! John: Yes, but you could have done that better too! [Phil Spector walks in with one thousand violin players] Phil: Where do I take the fiddlers John John: Down to studio one Phil [whispers] I'll be there soon Paul: What do you need a thousand violinists for, John John: Nothing, nothing Paul. Just a backing for Yoko....
[A few hours later] George: I'm knackered, lads, can't we go home Ringo: you know we've got to stay put until at least 4:00 AM George: But why Ringo: We can't have Lewisohn having us go home at regular hours Paul: This is Peppertime George George: I'M LEAVING THE BAND Ringo: You can't George, not until "Let It Be"
[two years later] Paul: So I suggest we perform naked in an Egyptian Sauna Ringo: You can't go naked in Egypt Paul, it's not done Paul: Well, how about on top of camels in front of the Sphinx? George: THAT'S IT -- I'M LEAVING THE BAND Paul: Or we could do an underwater show in the Nile John: Have you ever SEEN the nile Paul George: I AM, I'M GOING [George leaves] Ringo: I'd have trouble with the bass drum underwater Paul. The mud. John: I've got it, we could do it "underwater" at Apple, in the cellar Paul: That's a daft idea, at Apple? In London? Ringo: Eh? Where's George Paul: I think he went to the loo John: [whispers] Have you got some... ALL: WE HAVE TO GO TO THE LOO MR MARTIN... [John, Paul and Ringo leave]
ian hammond ===================================================== "how does it feel to be, one of the beautiful people"