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Fuck, this has escaped me for WAY too long! I don't know how I avoided this idea, this is seriously a good one.
It took me a thousand knives in my chest, a burrowing tumor in my head and too many cute little stress lines to count to make me realize something that's been right in front of me for years!
I guess it finally came to me listening to the Green Day version of Knowledge for the umpteenth time.
'All I know is I don't know nothin'... and that's fine."
What a fucking concept... I should just be an idiot!!
Okay, I know that's not the point of the song, really, but hell, that started me out thinking.
How tough is life when you're an idiot? Me and a friend of mine have this saying we want to put on t-shirts... "Everyday's a Saturday when you're a retard," and it's completely true! You drool, you shit yourself, other people dress you and clean you up! Fuck, I want that! I want to be a nimrod! I want to be a moron!
If you don't know anything, no one's going to hassle you. Not with their stupid problems, not with anything. They won't expect anything of you, you have no responsibilities... fuck! I've SO been going about life completely the wrong way. I've been trying to gather knowledge and intellect, when really, the most sucessful, happiest people I know are also the stupidest! Wow.
Now, you can take this for sarcasm if you want, but it isn't. There's no pressure when you're a stooge. There's no choices. There's no undue stress from trying to make something of yourself. When you're dumb enough, just making it through every day alive is conquest enough. You get applause for just making it through without killing yourself or others.
Judas Priest... all this time I've been complaining about the stupid masses I see every day... without ambition, without care, without purpose... I should be joining them in the unholy retard army.
I mean, I'm already misunderstood as it is. Already persecuted, told how I feel, told what I say... why not make it true? No one ever again will say, "I understand", "I know what you mean" without *really* understanding or knowing.
But the question remains, how do I do that? Hmn. It's not like I can just go to everyone I know... "Oh, by the way, I'm actually *dumber* and more ignorant than you are, sorry about the mix-up..." and be on my way. Hmn. Oh wait.. this is too easy, I've got it...
I'll just go get a sex change! Sweet deal! All that stuff PLUS boobs! And I'll get big ones too...
I'll make my motto into, "I don't know." I'll live by the three i's... idiocy, ignorance and institutionalization. I'll never think once, much less think twice about anything I say or do... I'll be the perfect moron.
Perfect moron's gotta equal perfect life, right? No one understands me as it is, maybe a few dozen blows to the head will straighten me out. If not, there's always unnecessary surgery to a couple of my more important lobes.
Going with the grain. Going with the flow. Getting manipulated and loving it. That's so for me, that's SO for me.
Wow. To not have anything asked of me. To not make any decisions. To have no responsibilities. I tell ya, the only people that have it better than fools are the people in jail.
So you see, the secret to having the best possible life is being the biggest idiot you can, for as long as you can, in every aspect of your stupid fucking existance!
But anyway, that's enough out of me. I'm off to do the Mongoloid Mambo, buy some khakis and forget how to drive!
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