What little toy do I have here? Well I'll tell you.

What I've made here is a little compatibility test. I thought up 70 questions or so, which I think help determine how much someone might have in common with me, and in fact, how successful a relationship with me might be.
Really it's just something that makes me laugh a little.

It's based on a plus/minus scoring system, so in the end someone can rate on it from approximately +180 to -150. A hell of a range, isn't it? It's actually pretty hard to get much past 75 on this thing, unless you're a whole lot like me, which I'm not betting on. I'm sure to finish the grading system later, giving ranges for A,B,C,D,E,F letter grades, and classifying results into separate sections (maybe)... though right now I'm off this kind of thing for a while. Writing the code was monotonous for me.
I'll actually get the results back to you (providing you leave your email) as soon as I can. They're fairly slow getting to my mailbox for some reason, it takes about 1-2 days for them to get there. With the way things are going now, I won't get my computer back til mid-August, so you're gonna have to wait til then for results. If you want, I'll post your name and score too.

And remember, scoring low on the survey doesn't make you any less of a person, nor would I think of you as one. It just means you're lucky: you're not compatible with me.

Fill in ALL fields for the most accurate results.


ALL blank spaces count against the total score, read each question through before answering.

1. Full name:

2. Age:

3. Race/Ethnicity:

4. Skin tone: pale medium dark

5. Accent? Yes No

6. Hair Colour:

7. Eye Colour:

8. Height(feet/inches):

9. Weight(pounds):

10. Left/Right Handed?:

11. Glasses?:Yes No

12. Breast Size: cup inches I aint tellin' you shit, jackass.

13. My nipples are more like : pancakes eye-patches quarters thimbles oh, piss off!

14. And they are: light/pink dark/brown enough already, you got a fixation?! geez.

15. Body Type: behemoth fat a bit chubby average slim skinny voluptuous athletic

16. Self-Perceived Attractiveness: hot sexy cute average ugly fugly

17. Although other people say I am: hot sexy cute average ugly fugly

18. Level of comfort with own body:

I wish I never had to leave the house
I wear baggy clothes only
shorts make me flinch
buying a bathing suit isn't really something I enjoy
My ass is a little big, but that's about it
I'm not bad
I think I turn a few heads
I could get by as a stripper if I wanted
why the hell aren't I in Playboy?!

19. My hair is:

to-my-ass-long
mid-back
shoulder length
around my jawline
around my ears
about 1-3 inches long
hair? What hair?
of radically varying lengths (because of a mohawk, spikes, bangs + shaved head, etc)

20. I have been in a non-school band: yes no

21. I have been in a school band: yes no

22. I play:

flute
guitar
bass
drums
piano
trumpet
oboe
piccolo
other:
nothing
multiple instruments

23. I have been in a physically abusive relationship: yes no

24. I have been in a verbally abusive relationship: yes no

25. My favourite movie is:

26. My favourite tv show is:

27. I buy a cd:

After I hear one song that I like
After hearing 2-4 songs that I like
After listening to most or all of the album
If I haven't heard it., but someone recommends it
If I haven't heard it, but it's by my favourite artist

28. Feminism:

rules
sucks
goes overboard sometimes
isn't enough sometimes
this is too vague of a question

29. I: have an okay job have a good job have a terrible job have no job

30. Express your level of comfort with the following on a scale of 1-10, 1 being uncomfortable, 10 being enjoyment and 5 being indifference:

lightly pinched:
lightly poked:
squeezed:
stroked:
hugged:
tickled:

(Check all that apply until #37.)

31. I:

enjoy oral sex
have a car
enjoy meat
wear perfume
appreciate rude humour
swear often
am close to my family, or go to a lot of family gatherings, regardless
am witty
have an underwear fascination
none of the above

32. I don't:

do oral
have a car
enjoy meat
wear perfume
appreciate rude humour
swear regularly
am not close to my family, or go to a lot of family gatherings
seem witty
have an underwear fascination
none of the above

33. University/College, for me, is/would be:

a place to get drunk
a place to get laid
fun
a waste of time
difficult
overrated
an ‘experience', lets say

34. I think:

everyone masturbates
I have enough shoes
guys should wear makeup
none of the above

35. I don't think:

everyone masturbates
I have enough shoes
guys should wear makeup
none of the above

36. I like a guy who (check all that apply):

beats me
only has one or two sides
has many sides to him
is mostly serious
makes me laugh
who is big and strong
will provide
goes to clubs
goes to bars
buys me things
does things for me
can play wrestle
wears cologne

37. How do you like the survey so far?:

I hate it
It's okay
It has it's comedy moments
It's pointless
I like it
It's bland
Its rude
It's idiotic
You spent time doing this?!
mmmmahvalous!

37. I have cheated on a boyfriend: yes no

38. I prefer a guy to be: hot sexy average cute

39. I have my ______ pierced (check all that apply):

ears, when I was a kid
ears, and they still are
eyebrow
nose
tongue
lip
nipple
labret
various genitalia
other:
eww, nothing!
nothing, but I wouldn't mind

40. I have a tattoo: yes no

41. If yes, is it an animal, person or creature?: yes no

(Check best answer)

42. I am a big eater: yes no sometimes

43. I'd prefer to listen to some:

Dixie Chicks
Marilyn Manson
Dead Kennedys
Matchbox 20
Pantera
CCR
the Doors
the Backstreet Boys
Nirvana
Chemical Brothers

44. I am a:

prep/priss/princess
bitch/snob
goth
metal chick
big slut
hippy
white trash/trash/faux trash
punk, hardcore
punk, skateboarder
punk, so-cal
‘punk', pop
hip-hopper/rapper
fan of korn/Limp Bizkit, etc
other:
I furiously disagree with the labeling process/can't make up my mind

45. I think homosexuals:

should be shot
are disgusting
should leave me alone
I don't like them
are normal people
are entitled to everything straight people are
I am in different towards homosexuals
just need to ditch the parade thing

46. Addiction (alcohol, smoking, drugs) is a disease: true false

47. My drink of choice would be:

tea
coffee
chocolate milk
juice
water
beer
whiskey
a vodka drink/cooler
Pepsi
Coke

48. I buy bottled water: true false

49. I smoke: true false

50. Desired future career choice:

Cheerleader
Accountant
Actress
Vet
Athlete
Cop
Stripper
Trucker
Management
Scientist
Artist

51. Favourite animal: monkey duck cat dog horse bear mouse parrot

52. The WWF is: ridiculous no opinion/indifferent/don't care wonderful

Would you rather (pick option you would prefer, if you HAD to pick):

53.

eat glass, or
lose an ear?

54.

have sex with Fred Flintstone,
Barney Rubble,
George Jetson, or
Shaggy?

55.

Smell like manure your whole life or
eat it twice a week?

56.

Drown or starve?

57.

Have bugs living under your skin or
lose all your hair?

58.

Be in prison or
be the last person on earth?

59. Do you make the first move?:

Yes, always
Yes, mostly
No, mostly not
No, never. That's a guys job.

60. I prefer:

no facial hair
sideburns
moustaches
goatees
fu-manchus
that thing below the lip but above the chin
a combination of some of the above

61. I most often:

try to learn from my mistakes
run away from my mistakes
just forgive myself for my mistakes
do nothing about my mistakes
just forget my mistakes
I don't like this question

62. Which of the following guys best tickles your fancy?:

Sean Connery
Adam Sandler
Dave Grohl
Gavin Rossdale
David Duchovny
Nicholas Cage
Hanson, all 3 of em
David Hasselhoff
Me, Johnny

63. I am interested in politics:

Strongly
Somewhat
Nope
This is a vague question

64. Did you notice there were two question 37's?: Yes No

65. Which of the following do you currently do more than 3 times a month?:

smoke
drink heavily
drink
brush your teeth
have sex
smoke pot
speed, acid or ecstacy
hard drugs
bathe
look at some manner of porn

66. I am: Pro-life Pro-choice It depends on the circumstance This is too vague for me.

67. My favourite thing about myself (physically) is:

68. My favourite thing about myself (non-physically) is:

69. My ideal partners favourite part (physically) would be his:

70. Along with his great (non-physically):

Post my name and score(only) on a results page when you've made one:

Yes No Give me my results first, then I'll tell you, big boy.

And now I'll need your email address:

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