Why it's good to be a girl.

You know, it seems I have a lot of terrible things to say on a lot of subjects. I guess I often see the downside to a lot of things, things that don't make sense to me. And one of these things... one of these things that doesn't usually make sense to me... is the majority of the female population. But you know, even though I can't quite seem to fully comprehend the female animal, that doesn't mean I can't see the positive points there are to being female. If you think hard there are redeeming factors in just about everything, it's just a matter of uncovering them. So just for all the guys out there who kind of scratch their heads when confronted with the Breasted Menace, I've taken a couple seconds to put together the finer parts of the femals animal's psyche in words and ways that us dumb guys can actually understand. Being male will do that... make you a little dumb sometimes, so I thought it was my duty to share the knowledge I have with other people on this particular matter. So below this is the best damn set of reasons there ever were that yes, all the stickers and buttons are true... girls 'kick ass'. Bon appetit.

1) Your mind is one-tracked enough that shopping and ice cream will actually take your mind off serious problems.

2) You never take any blame for anything. Ever.

3) You can bash guys all you want and they're not allowed to retaliate because *that* would be sexist and wrong.

4) You have no need for logic or reason in anything you say or do.

5) Morals are completely optional for day to day life.

6) You can be unneccessarily picky about guys, and everything else for that matter, no matter what a slob/tramp/piece of trash you may be.

7) You have a built in monthly excuse to be a wench for at least a couple days each month.

8) You never have to make any sense.

9) Being a dummy is okay as long as you can get by on looks and sleep your way to the top.

10) You can make what is very simple as complicated as you want.

11) Your ass is to your head like a turtle's shell is to it's head, or sand is to an ostrich's noggin.

12) You're not fat, your clothes simply make it look that way sometimes.

13) You can wear a low cut top and a skank skirt out to a bar, and then complain about guys staring at you.

14) You get all kinds of fun marches about bashing men to attend! Ah, the joy!

and most important of all,
15) You can see breasts anytime you want.

Now that one sells ME!

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