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You know, sometimes I do wish I had more friends.
More friends, but not like the ones I have already. I have a fair number, enough to generally keep me busy, but there's so many more types of people I could be associating with. All my friends have become predictable and somewhat boring. Boring only because I can predict almost exactly what they are going to say at any exact moment. That's where new people come in, and where I don't... because I just don't meet people well. For one thing, I seem to be afraid to approach people. I prefer to be introduced by someone else, and usually that's how it goes. But I never seem to find anyone new who is of substance, or at least a thinking individual. Thinking people just don't seem to gravitate towards me. I suppose it may have to do with my lust for seemingly mindless fun and mischief. Perhaps I don't appear to run regular trains of thought myself, and for such things as working brains, likes have to attract rather than opposites. And do you know what makes it worse? The internet. Not that I spend all my time on here when I could be meeting others, that's not it, because really I don't spend all my time in front of the blessed monitor of radiation. It's just that I flip through some of these webpages, and I find such interesting people that I could never meet. And some of them aren't simply bright, or poetic, or thoughtful... but searingly hot n' sexy too! (This girl, Amy, is a prime example. Yeeow!) The place I live... well, it sounds cliche because everyone slags their hometown as being a hole... but mine really is. The population and the intelligence of the population is limited to a rather dismal number. It's hard to find someone who can keep up with me, or who wants to talk to me about the things I want to talk about, other than Special K that is... except the problem is that his experience on matters comes from textbooks and university, and of course there is a problem of relating between those who read about being different and being treated differently than those actually living it. So I end up wandering through the internet now and then, and when I come across an interesting site I generally don't know what to do, thanks to my triple-threat retardedness involving meeting people, manners and etiquette. So I end up leaving a pallid message in a guestbook, or on some occasions actually send out an email and then curse myself for the rest of the day about the contents of any message I send. What do I say to these people? "Hey, nice page... I really associate with you on this and that... by the way, how do I find people like you in my town?" Not quite a prize-winning message to leave someone. It's difficult to leave something meaningful in a fistful of lines and a cutesy ending. I could leave a one sentence thought, or one simple word. There's a part of my town that's stencilled with just one word in black spray paint, and whenever I see it I feel strange and inspired. On the support of a stone bridge, there is the single word of "BELIEVE" painted. It's very nice. So should I try to do something like that? It's a puzzle that just wont go together. There needs to be a book... ‘How to meet people of substance'. And you know, sometimes I'd settle for just being on icq with some of these people, because that would at least be something. Some days there's nothing more in the world I want to do other than sit at the computer and talk to Maygan in Vermont all day, or Pix' in British Columbia. Why? Because we talk, and I like talking. Maygan actually sent me some pictures recently, and that was extra great. Because she too is one of those people. One of those people who is bright, poetic, thoughtful... and yes, definitely do-able. And you know what the best part is? The fact that she knows when I say that she's ‘bonable' is a compliment. So many people overreact to things like that... spouting remarks that I'm sexist or hung-up on physicalities or they may even shake their head at me, but not my Maygan. Maybe if I wandered around taking the plunge with every girl that passed me by then such a comment wouldn't mean anything, but I don't, so it does. So what am I getting at here? Well, this page has a two-fold meaning/bitching/however you want to see it.
A) Where do I meet people with a brain stem?
B) What do I say to them if I do encounter them, in life or online?
Bummer.
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