Helpful Info: There isn't much clarification needed in this story. The only thing you may need to know is that Joey is Billie Joe's three year old son and Ramona is Tre's daughter. The George Clooney stuff has to do with the Batman movies.
Intro: It's December 24th. It's Christmas Eve at Billie Joe's house! Mike and Tre are there, and so are their old friends Harrison Ford and Al Pacino!!! Lil Joey's there, Tre's Ramona is there, but Mike's kid isn't. She's out with his ex-wife and Carrot Top.
(Billie Joe's talking to Harrison Ford)
Harrison Ford: This party sucks. Billie Joe: So! I remember your Halloween party! Those stupid ewoks attcked me! And Chewbacca, that hairy little sonuvabitch almost bit my hand off! Harrison: Well maybe he wouldn't have tried to bite your hand off if you hadn't lit his entire back on fire!
(Tre walks over)
Tre: Hey everybody! Harrison: Shut up you green-haired degenerate. Tre: Yea, at least I ain't old, and can still get it up. Unlike you, Harrison "Limp As A Phone Cord" Ford. Harrison:(((starts crying)))it's true...it's true!!! (((grabs Joey's blanket and lays down on it)))
Billie Joe:(((patting Harrison on the head)))) Let it out, man. Let it out. (Joey walks over to Billie Joe)
Joey: Daddy! Daddy! When Santa going to get here?
Billie Joe: Santa? Um, uh, yea! Santa's...going...to...get...here...yea. (Billie Joe runs over to Al Pacino)
Billie Joe: Al!!! We have a problem here! Al Pacino: London Bridge has fallen down? May GOD have mercy on us all! Billie Joe: No! Joey and Ramona want Santa to appear!!!
Al Pacino: They want Santa to appear? May GOD have mercy on us all! Billie Joe: I have a Santa suit somewhere, will you put it on and come down the chimney?
Al Pacino: Yea, of course, anything for the children! Where's the suit? Billie Joe: It's in the closet next to my guitar. Al Pacino: In the closet next to your guitar? May GOD have mercy on us all! (Al goes over to get the suit while Billie Joe goes over to Mike)
Billie Joe: Hey Mike, wanna beer? (((holds up a full bottle of beer)))
Mike:(((jumping out of his chair and onto his feet))) AHHHHHHH!!! Billie Joe: What the hell? Get up dude, people are looking!
Mike: Oh, sorry dude, it's just that... Billie Joe: I know, I know, you like Zima
Mike: No, I like Bud. Billie Joe: NO, you like Zima. Mike: I SAID I LIKE BUD. Billie Joe: Oh yea, you did, didn't you? My bad. Anyway, we gotta go help Al Pacino get that old Santa suit of mine on. Mike: Why? Billie Joe: Cuz Joey and Ramona want Santa to appear! And we both know that Santa isn't going to appear. Mike: Yea, heh, he's not real. Billie Joe:(((Confused. Obviously he did not know this))) Huh? Mike: Um...uh...nothing! We gotta go help Al! Billie Joe: Yea! Hey! Look, George Clooney just showed up! I'll have to talk to him later! (Billie Joe and Mike run over to Billie's closet where Al has just put on the Santa suit)
Al Pacino: How do I look guys??? Mike: dude, you're too skinny! And you don't gotta white beard!!! Al Pacino: Yea, I'll need to put something inside of this suite to make me look fat. Any ideas, guys? Billie Joe: Hmmmmm. Hey! Why don't you stuff these gasoline-soaked newspapers into the suit!? Al Pacino: You know, of all the stupid, dumb things I've ever heard you say, this is the smartest!!! (((stuffs gasoline-soaked newspapers into suit)))
Mike: Okay, in a few minutes, go around to the side of the house, and then get the ladder. Climb onto the roof, then come down the chimney! and here, smear this shaving cream all over your face to make it look like you have a beard. Al Pacino: Gotcha! (Meanwhile, Tre is talking to George Clooney)
Tre:...So Larry says to me, he says, "Frank, ya gotta have a new name." I asked him waht would sound cool and he said, "Well, um, how about...uh, Tre Metal?" I just laughed at him and said that name sucks ass, and he said I was right. A few days later he came up with the name Tre Cool, and the rest is history. George Clooney: Yes, rather interesting. Say, do you have a phone? I have to call my friend Robin...I mean Chris! I gotta call my friend Chris!! Tre: Hmmmm. Billie Joe's got a phone that looks like a football over there. George: Yes, of course. Thank you. (Billie Joe and Mike run into the room)
Billie Joe:Billie Joe: Hey Mike, did you hear something on the roof? Mike:(((reading slowly from a small piece of paper))) Yes, I did. Maybe it is Santa Cloose...I mean Clause. Maybe it is Santa Clause. (A voice comes from the chimney)
Voice: HO HO HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HERE I COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY! HOHOHO!!! (Al jumps down the chimney and as he's falling, everyone hears a big "thud"! He's stuck in the chimney!)
Voice: Sonuva bitch bastard shiotheadpissantdumbassstupidmebastardsonuvabitch!!! Tre: Hey!!! That guy's trying to rob your house!!! I'll stop him!!! (((lights top of Billie's Christmas tree and showves it up the chimney))) Take taht you fat bastard!!!
(Al Pacino's gasoline-soaked newspapers ignite and turn him into a screaming, cussing ball of fire. Billie and Mike just stand there in shock, with their mouths wide open. George Clooney looks out the window and sees the Bat Signal)
George Clooney: I must be going now...I forgot...to...clean...my...washer...yea...bye. (He runs out the door, but as soon as he opens it, he's punched in the face and knocked to the ground. Michael Keaton and Val Kilmer have showed up to beat the crap out of Clooney yelling "GIVE US OUR JOBS BACK!!!")
Mike: Hey Bill. Billie Joe: Yea Mike Mike: I think we should leave.
Billie Joe: Me too.
(They're both about to leave until one of thse cute little Furbys Billie Joe got Joey for Christmas attacks Mike)
Mike: AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! GET IT OFF ME!!! Billie Joe: I'll save ya old pal!!! (((picks up a beer bottle and throws it at the Furby. But it hits Mike in the head, knocking down and landing on the Furby, crushing it))) Oh well, I killed the Furby!!!
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