I knew exactly what I wanted to say but I didn't know how to actually say it.
As he stared at me with his penetrating blue eyes, I heard myself say, "You
had a piece of lint on your jacket". I wiped the imaginary piece of lint off
his shoulder. He looked at me for a second with a confused look on his face
as he turned to talk to JC. 'I can't believe I just said that! A piece of
lint?, I thought, God, I'm such an idiot! Heather noticed that I hadn't
said a word the entire time. She was too busy poking fun at Lance and didn't
notice that her best friend was the only one in the limo without a smile on
her face. Heather nudged Kit with her elbow and Kit looked over at me.
Kit knew there was something wrong because I was the last person she would
ever see moping around. A few minutes later we arrived at the restaurant.
We all got out of the limo and started to make our way inside. I lagged
behind the crowd and Kit and Heather dropped back and pulled me to the side.
"Hey, you guys comin?", Chris asked.
"Yeah, just some girl talk.", Kit replied.
"Okay, what's up with you?", Heather asked crossing her arms.
"Nothing...I'm just not feeling like myself tonight, that's all."
"Does this have anything to do with what happened between you and Justin?"
"Wait a minute, what did I miss? What happened with Justin?", Kit asked.
"Well, Kae overreacted about an old gf of Justin's."
"I didn't mean to, I don't even know why I went off like that."
"It's kinda obvious, Kae."
"What do mean?"
"I mean, it's obvious that your falling for the guy.", Kit said.
"What??? Like HELL I am!"
"Look, Kae, you're gonna have to accept your feelings and realize that your just human."
"Kit's right Kae, just for once stop trying to be the cool and calm girl and just be a normal 18 year old."
With that Kit and Heather went into the resteraunt. I stood there and thought about what my friends had just said. They were right about me. I tried so hard to mask my feelings because I thought emotions made me look weak. I took a deep breath and entered the restaraunt.
I found my way to the table where everyone was seated looking at their menus. We were at a long table in the back away from the main part of the restaraunt. I saw an empty seat next to Linz and sat down. I noticed Justin was sitting directly across from me. The waitress came and we all gave her our orders. She also got the guys' autographs. A short time later she came back with our food and we all started to eat and chat amongst ourselves. I noticed that it seemed like everyone had paired off. Linz and Joey hadn't let go of eachother since they picked us up; Heather and Lance were always flirting; Jen and JC seemed to have a lot in common and were always in deep conversation; Kit and Chris were always laughing and really enjoyed being around eachother; and then there was me. I looked over at Justin twirling his pasta around his fork. It's time to swallow your pride Kae and take a chance, I thought.
"So, what kinda pasta did you get?", I finally said, happy with myself.
He looked up and seemed almost surprised by my simple question, "Fettucine Alfredo".
"That's my favorite."
"Yeah, but it tastes better with crab meat."
"Really? I like mine with shrimp."
"Yeah, that's pretty good too," he smiled and focused his attention back to his plate.
A little smiled crossed my face but I was cheering inside. The rest of the night went the same, little conversations here and there. The limo took us back to our condo and everyone got out. Joey kissed Linz passionately and we all smiled to ourselves. JC kissed Jen's hand and Lance did the same with Heather. Chris gave Kit a quick peck on the cheek and she in turn pulled him in a kissed him on his lips.
"Well, I guess I'll see you around.", Justin said.
"Yeah, maybe." The guys started to get back into the limo. "Hey, Justin!" He turned around to face me. I ran up to him. "Look, I'm really sorry about..."
"You don't have to apologize."
He leaned down a brushed his lips softly against my cheek and climbed into the limo. I stood there and watched to limo drive out of sight. 'Maybe this emotional thing isn't that bad after all, I thought. I smiled and went inside.